Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构不够紧凑，有时态和主谓一致错误，表达较冗长且重复。建议：1) 开头用一句主题句直接回答问题；2) 用一到两句具体理由并用连接词（because, so）衔接；3) 注意时态和主谓一致（e.g. ‘this makes me feel’）；4) 控制在最多5句内，避免重复意思。

例: My favourite food is spicy Chinese dishes. I especially enjoy them in winter because the strong flavours and oiliness make me feel warm and energetic after eating, so they are perfect for cold days.

提案: 内容具体但存在语法错误和人称不一致（‘say’→‘said’, ‘their’→‘my’），句子衔接可以更自然。建议：1) 用过去时描述童年习惯并保持一致；2) 用连接词（for example, but）使句子更流畅；3) 用一两句补充结果或感受，控制总句数。

例: When I was a child I loved sweet foods, especially chocolate bars. But my mother said they were bad for my teeth, so she often refused to buy them for me.

提案: 表达较重复且有语法和用词问题（例如重复‘different’, 冗余‘the watermelon is always’），逻辑衔接欠佳。建议：1) 开门见答后用一两句说明不同季节的食物并举明确例子；2) 使用连接词（for example, because, so）使逻辑清晰；3) 避免重复和口语填充词（well, maybe）。

例: Yes, I eat different foods in different seasons. For example, in summer I often eat watermelon because it is juicy and sweet, so it helps me feel refreshed and less thirsty.

提案: 观点清楚但表达重复且有语法问题（多次使用‘now’，‘more healthy’应为‘healthier’，‘feel even comfortable’不自然）。建议：1) 用一两句对比过去与现在并用连接词（however, because）；2) 注意比较级和形容词搭配；3) 用具体例子说明哪类蔬菜或原因，控制句数。

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed. When I was a child I loved sweets, but now I prefer vegetables because they are healthier and after long workdays they help me feel more comfortable and energetic.

× My favorite food is Chinese food, which is always very spicy and a little bit oily.

✓ My favorite food is Chinese food, which is usually very spicy and a little oily.

这里需要用副词来修饰形容词。原句用 always（总是）有些绝对，改为 usually（通常）更自然；a little bit oily 中的 bit 属口语重复，改成 a little oily 更简洁自然。建议：选择合适的程度副词（always/usually/often/a little），避免冗余表达。

× I like them in the winter a lot because this made me feel pretty warm and after eating I feel I'm very energetic.

✓ I like it a lot in the winter because it makes me feel quite warm, and after eating I feel very energetic.

原句主语指代 Chinese food，应该用单数 it 而不是复数 them（主语与代词数不一致）。此外，时态要一致：描述一般事实用一般现在时，故将 made 改为 makes；pretty 更常用于口语，改为 quite 更书面。建议：注意代词与先行词的数保持一致，并使用与语境一致的时态。

× When I was a kid I liked the sweet food a lot, for example the chocolate bars.

✓ When I was a kid, I liked sweet foods a lot, for example chocolate bars.

这里谈过去的习惯，liked 使用正确。但名词复数更自然：sweet food 应为 sweet foods 或 just sweets；定冠词 the 在列举一般类别时多余，应直接用 chocolate bars。建议：表示过去习惯时用过去式，表示可数复数时使用复数或用不可数的通用表达。

× However, my mom always say it's very bad for their teeth.

✓ However, my mom always says it's very bad for their teeth.

主语 my mom 为第三人称单数，谓语动词应加 -s，故 say → says。建议：第三人称单数现在时动词要加 -s/-es。

× However, my mom always say it's very bad for their teeth.

✓ However, my mom always says it's very bad for my/children's teeth.

原句中先讲的是自己（When I was a kid），但这里用 their（他们的）与上下文不匹配。应改为 my teeth（我的牙齿）或 children's teeth（孩子们的牙齿），根据想表达的人群选择。建议：代词应与上下文的指代一致。

× That's why she always refused to buy me more chocolate.

✓ That's why she always refused to buy me more chocolate.

此句时态为过去（refused），与前文 When I was a kid 一致，句子本身无语法错误。此处只作确认：时态一致时无需改动。建议：注意过去叙述中保持过去时。

× Yes, I prefer to have different food, different fruits in different seasons.

✓ Yes, I prefer to have different foods and different fruits in different seasons.

prefer 后接名词时，复数形式更自然：different food → different foods。并用 and 连接并列名词更清晰。建议：表达泛指可数名词时用复数形式。

× For example, in summer I always like to have some watermelon because I feel the watermelon is always juicy and sweet.

✓ For example, in summer I always like to have some watermelon because I find it very juicy and sweet.

重复使用 the watermelon 不够简洁，改用 it 更自然；感受用 find/make 更贴切，always juicy 也过于绝对，改为 very juicy。建议：使用代词替代重复名词，并选择合适的程度副词。

× In summer, to have such a juicy fruit, well, maybe less thirsty.

✓ In summer, eating such a juicy fruit maybe makes me less thirsty.

原句结构不完整，缺主语和谓语（maybe less thirsty 不能独立成句）。改为完整句子，主语为 eating such a juicy fruit，谓语为 makes，表达清晰。建议：确保每句包含主语和谓语，避免口语碎片在书面表达中造成不完整句。

× I believe my favorite food has changed.

✓ I believe my favorite food has changed.

此句使用现在完成时表状态变化是正确的，无需修改。建议：保持现在完成时用于过去到现在的变化描述。

× As a kid I liked the sweet food.

✓ As a kid, I liked sweet foods.

与前面类似，sweet food 更自然用复数 sweets 或 sweet foods 表示不同种类的甜食。建议：可数名词表示泛指时用复数形式。

× However now I prefer vegetables more because now I think the vegetables are more healthy and after the long time working, the healthy food will make my body feel even comfortable.

✓ However, now I prefer vegetables more because I think vegetables are healthier, and after a long time working, healthy food makes my body feel more comfortable.

several issues: 1) 定冠词 the 在泛指蔬菜时多余，應去掉；2) more healthy 应为 healthier（比较级）；3) the healthy food → healthy food（泛指），并且时态与陈述事实一致用一般现在时而不是 will make；4) after the long time working 结构笨拙，改为 after a long time working 更自然；5) even comfortable 表达不自然，改为 more comfortable。建议：形容词比较级用 -er 或 more + 形容词，注意定冠词使用，保持时态一致并优化固定搭配。