Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Улучшите ясность и грамматику. Сформулируйте тему в одном предложении, избегайте повторов и исправьте времена и согласование. Используйте связки (because, so, also) логично и давайте конкретные причины и примеры. Ограничьте ответ до 3–4 чётких предложений.

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I include walking in my daily routine because I walk between classes and work, and I often walk to train for sports. Also, I enjoy walking for exercise and to clear my mind.

提案: Исправьте время и лексику: говорите о прошлом в прошедшем времени. Уберите неверные или странные слова и дайте чёткие сравнения между прошлым и настоящим, используя связки (when, but, however). Сделайте 2–3 предложения с конкретными примерами детских прогулок.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often played outside and went for walks with my family in the evenings. However, I prefer going out less now because I sometimes stayed at home more as a child.

提案: Дайте чёткую тему и конкретные причины, используйте связующие слова (for example, because, therefore). Избегайте тавтологии и обобщений без примеров. Приведите 2–3 конкретных преимущества прогулок в парке (свежий воздух, природа, места для отдыха).

例: People like walking in parks because the fresh air and green space help them relax. For example, parks have walking paths, benches and trees, which improve mood and offer a quiet place to exercise. Therefore many people choose parks to relieve stress.

提案: Сформулируйте прямой ответ на вопрос и приведите конкретное место и причину. Используйте связки (because, for example, with) и избегайте повторов. Дайте 2–3 предложения о том, куда и с кем вы пойдёте и почему.

例: I would like to take a long walk in the mountains because I enjoy hiking and nature. For example, I often go hiking with my friends on weekends, and we like the fresh air and views. It would be exciting to spend a whole day exploring trails.

提案: Отвечайте прямо и в прошедшем времени. Назовите конкретное место и время (e.g., last weekend) и опишите одно-два подробных действия или впечатления. Избегайте бессвязных фраз и повторов.

例: Last weekend I went for a walk in a nearby nature reserve. I walked along a river path and saw several birds, and although I haven't walked much recently, this trip was refreshing.

× Yes I do. I really like work a lot cause of it's depend it's individual, individual part of my the daily schedule.

✓ Yes, I do. I really like to work a lot because it depends on the individual and is part of my daily schedule.

The sentence uses incorrect verb forms and word order for present tense statements. 'like work' should be 'like to work' (infinitive after 'like'), 'cause of it's depend' is incorrect — use 'because it depends' (present tense subject-verb agreement), 'it's' is contraction for 'it is' but the meaning requires 'it depends', and 'my the daily schedule' has an extra article. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order and appropriate infinitive or gerund forms; say 'I like to work' and 'it depends on the individual'.

× Because I should work little a lot about my work, my study and also I always train with this I always stable training with some same sports, thereby I should walk a lot.

✓ Because I have to work a lot on my job and studies, and I always train regularly in the same sports, I should walk a lot.

The original uses wrong prepositions and modal verbs: 'should work little a lot about' is ungrammatical. Use 'have to work a lot on' for obligations and focus ('on my job and studies'). 'Train with this' and 'stable training with some same sports' are incorrect prepositional phrases — use 'train regularly in the same sports'. Suggestion: simplify clauses and use correct prepositions: 'work on' and 'train in'.

× Not only this but.

✓ Not only that, but also...

Fragmentary sentence lacking completion and incorrect conjunction phrase. Use the correct correlative phrase 'not only... but also' and complete the thought. Suggestion: finish the sentence, e.g. 'Not only that, but I also enjoy other activities.'.

× Yes, I do. I I remember that when I was a child I really liked going outside for vaginal walk.

✓ Yes, I do. I remember that when I was a child I really liked going outside for a walk in the morning.

The speaker meant to use past tense 'liked' which is correct, but 'vaginal walk' is an incorrect and inappropriate word choice (likely 'vaginal' is a mistake). Use 'a walk in the morning' or 'a short walk' to convey meaning. Suggestion: choose accurate vocabulary and keep consistent past tense.

× When it comes to only walking, I wasn't to go out there much more like at recent because when I was young I really like to do staying at home.

✓ As for just walking, I did not go out much recently because when I was young I liked staying at home.

Multiple structural issues: 'wasn't to go out there much more like at recent' is ungrammatical — use 'did not go out much recently'. Tense inconsistency: 'I really like to do staying at home' should be past 'I liked staying at home'. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits and proper adverb placement ('recently').

× The main reason is that I would say they real they always go for the seeing the atmosphere of the park because of as you know, the most parks has too many kind of the attraction and attractive.

✓ The main reason, I would say, is that they like seeing the atmosphere of the park because, as you know, most parks have many kinds of attractions and are attractive.

Incorrect article use and subject-verb agreement: 'the most parks has' should be 'most parks have' (no article before 'most', plural verb 'have'). 'the seeing the atmosphere' is wrong — use 'seeing the atmosphere' or 'enjoying the atmosphere'. Remove unnecessary articles and ensure verb agrees with plural subject. Suggestion: use 'most parks have' and avoid redundant 'the'.

× The things which are really make you to it help to enhance your mood thereby they really like to walk in.

✓ Things that really help to enhance your mood, so they really like to walk in them.

Pronoun and relative clause errors: 'which are really make you to it' is ungrammatical. Use 'that help to enhance your mood'. Also, 'walk in' needs an object 'them' referring to parks. Suggestion: use relative pronoun 'that' and include correct object pronoun.

× For. I will choose the most things because I really like the hiking and hiking.

✓ For me, I would choose the mountains because I really like hiking.

Fragment and repetition: 'For.' is incomplete; 'the most things' unclear. 'I really like the hiking and hiking' repeats and misuses articles. Suggestion: be specific (e.g. 'the mountains') and use 'hiking' without article when speaking generally.

× I would say my food. I pretty uh, it's clear example is that when I grow my when I meet meet like with my friends, we always to go sounder for the hiking.

✓ I would say my favorite place. A clear example is that when I grew up and met my friends, we always went together hiking.

Pronoun and verb form errors: 'my food' likely intended 'my favorite place'; 'when I grow my when I meet meet' mixes tenses and repeats words. Use past tense 'grew up' and 'met', and past 'went' for past habitual actions. Suggestion: avoid repetition and maintain tense consistency.

× It's really exciting. Not only this, but also.

✓ It's really exciting. Not only that, but we also enjoy the scenery and company.

Incomplete sentence and unclear correlative structure. Complete the idea after 'not only... but also.' Suggestion: provide the second element to complete the correlative conjunction.

× I would say I visit this house, I would the safari and then.

✓ I would say I visited that place; I went on a safari, and then...

Article and tense errors: 'visit this house' is unclear, probably meant past 'visited that place'. 'I would the safari' missing verb and article. Suggestion: use past tense for recent actions and include verbs and correct articles.

× Nice to walking as you know, hiking also there, but I was really late for our apartment and I remember that only because I never have been walking lately.

✓ It was nice walking there; as you know, there is also hiking, but I was really far from our apartment and I remember that I haven't been walking lately.

Preposition and tense issues: 'Nice to walking' should be 'It was nice walking' or 'Nice walking'. 'late for our apartment' incorrect preposition—use 'far from our apartment' if meaning distance. 'I never have been walking lately' conflicts; better 'I haven't been walking lately'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions and present perfect negative for recent experience.