Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural, concise and correct grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid sentence fragments and word choice errors (e.g. 'work' should be 'walk', 'spend in a long day' is incorrect). Keep response to under five sentences and add one specific detail using a linking word.

例: Yes, I walk regularly, especially in the evenings. I find walking helps me stay active and clears my head after studying. For example, I usually walk for 30 minutes around my neighborhood to relax and recharge.

提案: Good content and structure. To improve, make the answer slightly more concise, add a linking word to connect ideas and include one specific memorable detail to enrich the response.

例: Yes, I went out to walk a lot when I was a child. We would walk around the neighborhood and, for example, often stop at a corner shop to buy sweets, which made those days feel carefree.

提案: Strong answer with clear reasons. Improve slightly by fixing small grammar issues ('simple' → 'simply') and adding a linking word to better connect reasons and an example to make it more specific.

例: People like walking in parks because they offer a peaceful escape from city noise and fresh air. Moreover, they provide light exercise and, for example, families often use parks to relax together on weekends.

提案: Very good response: natural, specific and well structured. Improve by removing repetition ('a a'), using one linking word to connect ideas, and adding a brief specific example of a place to make it more vivid.

例: I'd like to walk along a scenic mountain trail, such as the Lake District or a similar national park, because the views and fresh air would be incredibly refreshing.

提案: Good content but fix hesitations and grammar (remove 'the' in 'the walk', use past tense 'listened'). Make the answer more fluent by starting with a clear topic sentence, using a linking word to explain reason, and keeping it concise.

例: A few days ago I walked around my neighborhood because I had been indoors for a long time. I walked for about half an hour, enjoyed the fresh air and listened to music to relax.

× Actually. I try to work quite regularly, especially in the evening.

✓ Actually, I try to walk quite regularly, especially in the evening.

The original has a sentence fragment 'Actually.' and uses the verb 'work' which does not match the context (question about walking). This is a sentence structure error: fragments and inappropriate verb choice. Combine into one sentence and use the correct verb 'walk' to match meaning. Suggestion: avoid fragments; attach short interjections to main clause and ensure verb matches context.

× It's a simple way to stay active and I find that working helps me clear my head and spend in a long day studying.

✓ It's a simple way to stay active, and I find that walking helps me clear my head after a long day of studying.

The sentence was awkward and contained wrong verb choice 'working' and incorrect phrase 'spend in a long day studying.' This is a sentence structure error: replace 'working' with 'walking' to match context, change 'spend in a long day studying' to 'after a long day of studying.' Also add a comma before the conjunction for clarity.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to take a walk when you were a child?

The original uses 'have a walk' which is not the most natural collocation in this context. This is a past tense/contextual usage issue: use 'take a walk' to sound natural. The auxiliary 'Did' already marks past, so main verb should be base form 'go' or rephrase as 'take a walk.'

× People can enjoy some fresh air, get a bit of exercise and simple relax while surrounded by greenery.

✓ People can enjoy some fresh air, get a bit of exercise and simply relax while surrounded by greenery.

The adverb is incorrect: 'simple' is an adjective but an adverb 'simply' is required to modify the verb 'relax.' This is a verb + -ing/adverb usage issue. Use 'simply' to correctly modify 'relax.'

× If I had the chance, I'd love to take a long walk somewhere surrounded by nature, perhaps along a a scenic trail in the mountains.

✓ If I had the chance, I'd love to take a long walk somewhere surrounded by nature, perhaps along a scenic trail in the mountains.

There is a duplicate article 'a a' which is an article error/typing mistake. Remove the extra 'a' for grammatical correctness.

× I went for the walk, uh, around my neighborhood a few days ago.

✓ I went for a walk around my neighborhood a few days ago.

'The walk' implies a specific walk previously mentioned; here it's generic, so use the indefinite article 'a.' Also remove filler 'uh' in corrected written form. This is an article/verb + -ing context issue: use 'a walk.'

× I'd been spending quite, quite a lot of time indoors, so I decided to go outside for the change.

✓ I'd been spending quite a lot of time indoors, so I decided to go outside for a change.

The phrase 'for the change' is incorrect; correct expression is 'for a change.' Also reduce duplicate 'quite, quite' to a single 'quite' for naturalness. This is a collocation/article issue.

× I walked for about half an hour, enjoyed the fresh air and listen to some music.

✓ I walked for about half an hour, enjoyed the fresh air and listened to some music.

The sentence mixes past tense verbs 'walked' and 'enjoyed' with present tense 'listen.' This is a past tense agreement error: all coordinated verbs describing past events should be in past tense, so use 'listened.'