Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g. "free time" not "uptime") and avoid repetition. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (e.g. "because" and "so").

例: I don't walk a lot because I work on weekdays and only have two days off each week. Therefore, I usually spend my free time with my family instead of going for long walks.

提案: Use correct tense and clearer structure: start with a simple past topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid unclear phrases like "work in the school" and "walk with the lilacs."

例: Yes, I often went outside as a child. For example, after lessons our teachers would take us for short walks around the school grounds so we could get some fresh air and play.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and organize supporting reasons with linking words. Use correct word forms (e.g. "walk" not "work", "fresh air", "clean"). Provide two specific reasons and one short result.

例: People like to walk in parks because they offer fresh air and peaceful surroundings. As a result, walking there helps reduce stress and improves physical health.

提案: Begin with a clear conditional sentence in correct form and avoid filler words. State a specific place and give one or two precise reasons using linking words. Fix vocabulary errors ("reduce stress", "scenery" or "air").

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a large city park on the weekend because the fresh air and pleasant scenery help me reduce stress and relax.

提案: Answer in past tense with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific recent example. Use correct verb forms and connect ideas with linking words (e.g. "because", "so").

例: Recently I walked in the city center. I had been shopping and walked to the train station, so I ended up taking a fairly long walk that day.

× Well I would say I don't walk a lot because I don't have enough uptime.

✓ Well, I would say I don't walk a lot because I don't have enough free time.

The word 'uptime' is incorrect in this context; use 'free time'. Also add a comma after 'Well'. 'Free time' is the correct noun phrase to express available time outside work.

× I work every week I mean every weekday and I have only like 2 day with the weekend for the day off.

✓ I work every week, I mean every weekday, and I only have like two days off on the weekend.

Subject-verb agreement and pluralization: '2 day' should be 'two days'. Word order and articles improved: 'have like two days off on the weekend' is natural. Added commas for clarity.

× I would like spend time with my family.

✓ I would like to spend time with my family.

After 'would like' the infinitive with 'to' is required. Insert 'to' before the verb 'spend'.

× Yes, when I was child, I have a lot of work in the school because the teacher, when they finish teaching in the classroom, they took the children go out to walk with the lilacs.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I had a lot of work at school because the teacher, when they finished teaching in the classroom, took the children out to walk among the lilacs.

Tense consistency: 'when I was a child' refers to the past, so use past tense 'had' instead of 'have'. 'Finish' and 'take' should be past 'finished' and 'took'. Add article 'a' before 'child' and use 'at school'. Use 'took the children out' and 'among the lilacs' for preposition accuracy.

× The people like to work in the park because the park have really nice a really fresh air and really nice clean and the park make the people feel comfortable and make them healthy.

✓ People like to walk in the park because the park has really fresh, clean air, and it makes people feel comfortable and healthy.

Numerous issues: 'work' should be 'walk' given context. Subject-verb agreement: 'park have' -> 'park has'. Article/order: 'really nice a really fresh air' corrected to 'really fresh, clean air'. Use 'it makes people' for clarity. Preposition 'in the park' is correct; others simplified.

× If I have a chance with umm, the weekend or the weekday, I prefer to go the wrong walk in the park because the park they have really fresh air and really nice skin, make me reduce straight and make me feel.

✓ If I had the chance on a weekend or a weekday, I would prefer to take a long walk in the park because it has really fresh air and makes me relax and feel better.

Conditional tense: the hypothetical situation requires past simple 'If I had the chance' and conditional 'I would prefer'. 'Go the wrong walk' is unclear; corrected to 'take a long walk'. Subject-verb agreement: 'park they have' -> 'it has'. 'Nice skin' and 'reduce straight' were incorrect; interpreted as 'relax' and 'feel better'.

× The lastly, I go to walk in the city because I go to shopping in the city and I walk go to the train station.

✓ Recently, I went for a walk in the city because I went shopping there and walked to the train station.

Use of past tense 'went' and 'walked' for 'lately/recently'. 'I go to shopping' is incorrect; use 'I went shopping'. 'The lastly' is wrong; use 'Recently'. Adjust word order for natural English.