Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản và rõ ràng ý chính. Tránh lỗi thời gian và động từ (ví dụ: 'sometime' -> 'sometimes', 'work' -> 'walk'), thêm câu chủ đề rõ ràng và một hoặc hai chi tiết hỗ trợ ngắn gọn. Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý hợp lý.

例: Yes, I walk quite often because I'm trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle. For example, I usually take a 20-minute walk after school to clear my mind and lift my mood after a stressful day.

提案: Chỉ cần chỉnh ngữ pháp nhỏ và hoàn thiện độ tự nhiên. Dùng thì quá khứ đơn đúng và biến đổi vài từ để mạch văn tự nhiên hơn; thêm chi tiết cụ thể ngắn gọn nếu cần.

例: Yes, I did. When I was young I often walked with my friends in the park near my house after dinner. It was really fun because we would play games and watch the ducks by the pond.

提案: Sửa lỗi từ vựng và cấu trúc (ví dụ 'refer' và 'working' không phù hợp). Trình bày rõ ràng với câu chủ đề rồi nêu 2-3 lý do ngắn có liên kết. Sử dụng từ vựng liên quan như 'greenery', 'fresh air', 'relaxation'.

例: People often choose to walk in parks because of the greenery and fresh air. In addition, walking in a park helps them relax, get light exercise, and escape from the noise and stress of the city.

提案: Cần cải thiện hiểu câu hỏi và dùng từ chính xác: 'take a long walk' không phải 'work' hay 'gyms'. Trả lời trực tiếp, sử dụng câu điều kiện đúng ('If I had the chance, I would...'), và nêu lý do cụ thể về địa điểm bạn chọn.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along a coastal trail. I enjoy sea views and fresh air, and walking there would be peaceful and refreshing.

提案: Trả lời cần sát câu hỏi (nêu địa điểm gần đây) và sửa ngữ pháp và từ vựng ('work' -> 'walk', 'screen pace' -> 'green space', 'push my entry' unclear). Nên dùng thì quá khứ đơn để mô tả hành động gần đây và thêm một lý do ngắn gọn.

例: Recently I walked in the neighborhood park because it has more green space and fresh air. I ended up walking for almost an hour, which helped me feel more energetic.

× Uh, I sometime work because I'm trying have a healthier lifestyle.

✓ Uh, I sometimes walk because I'm trying to have a healthier lifestyle.

'sometime' should be 'sometimes' (adverb of frequency). 'work' is incorrect verb in context; 'walk' fits question about walking. Missing 'to' before 'have' after 'trying' ('trying to have'). Also subject-verb agreement: 'sometimes' modifies plural action. Suggested: use 'sometimes walk' and 'trying to have'.

× Besides this activity is a good way to uplift my mood after headache day at school.

✓ Besides, this activity is a good way to lift my mood after a headache day at school.

Missing comma after 'Besides'. 'uplift my mood' is acceptable but 'lift my mood' is more natural. Missing article 'a' before 'headache day' and phrase 'headache day' is awkward; better: 'after a day with a headache' or 'after a headache at school'. Suggest: 'after a day with a headache' for clarity.

× Honestly, when I was young I often went outside with my friend to walk in the park near my house after dinner.

✓ Honestly, when I was young I often went outside with my friends to walk in the park near my house after dinner.

Use plural 'friends' if referring to more than one friend; original 'my friend' could be singular but 'often' suggests repeated outings with potentially multiple friends. If singular intended, keep 'my friend'. This correction assumes plural consistency. No tense change needed.

× It's very fun.

✓ It was very fun.

Context is past (when I was young), so tense should be past: 'was' instead of 'is'. 'Very fun' is informal but acceptable; could be 'It was a lot of fun' for natural phrasing.

× People refer working in parks because park have a lot of green space and fresh air.

✓ People prefer working in parks because parks have a lot of green space and fresh air.

'refer' incorrect verb; should be 'prefer'. 'park have' is subject-verb disagreement and singular/plural mismatch; use 'parks have' to match plural. Also 'working' is okay after 'prefer' but 'working in parks' is better than 'working in park'.

× Walking there helps them relax and get some light exercise and it's a nice escape from city noise.

✓ Walking there helps them relax and get some light exercise, and it's a nice escape from city noise.

Grammar is mostly correct; added comma before conjunction for clarity. No verb changes needed. 'city noise' is fine though 'the city noise' is optional. This is a style/clarity suggestion rather than strict grammar error.

× Uh, if I can change, I will work in the gyms because I never have opportunity to work in this place.

✓ Uh, if I could change, I would work in gyms because I've never had the opportunity to work in one.

For hypothetical situations contrary to present reality, use past modal 'could' and 'would' not 'can'/'will'. 'the gyms' is unnatural; use 'gyms' or 'a gym'. 'never have opportunity' requires present perfect: 'I've never had the opportunity'. 'work in this place' -> 'work in one' for clarity.

× I think it's very good place for.

✓ I think it's a very good place to do that.

Fragment and missing article: need 'a' before 'very good place'. 'for' is incomplete; use 'to do that' or specify purpose (e.g., 'for exercising' or 'for working out').

× Well I think work in the park simply because it have more screen pace and fresh air.

✓ Well, I think walking in the park is better simply because it has more green space and fresh air.

Missing comma after 'Well'. 'I think work in the park' incorrect verb and infinitive form; use 'walking' or 'going for a walk'. 'it have' subject-verb agreement: 'it has'. 'screen pace' is typo for 'green space'.

× This make me walk a long time and push my entry.

✓ This makes me walk for a long time and improves my energy.

Subject-verb agreement: 'This makes' not 'make'. 'walk a long time' more natural as 'walk for a long time'. 'push my entry' is unclear; likely meant 'boost my energy' or 'improve my energy'—used 'improves my energy'.