Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid contractions and redundant clauses, and fix verb forms. Use one or two supporting reasons with linking words. For example, say you rarely walk, give one main reason (e.g. tiredness or weather), and finish with a brief comment.

例: I rarely walk these days. Mainly I find walking tiring, and I prefer staying indoors when the sun is strong, so I usually avoid long walks.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail. Avoid fillers and vague phrases like "and everything." Use a linking phrase to connect ideas (e.g. "for example").

例: Yes, definitely. When I was a child my mother and I often went out together; for example, we would visit parks to play and sometimes meet her friends for coffee afterward.

提案: Make your answer more direct and organized. Begin with a general statement, then give two clear reasons using linking words (e.g. "firstly", "also"). Avoid ambiguous phrasing and use specific effects of walking (relaxation, thinking clearly).

例: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and clear their minds. Firstly, the natural surroundings reduce stress, and secondly, quiet walks help people reflect on problems and think of solutions.

提案: Correct grammar and be concise. Start with a topic sentence naming the place, then give one or two specific benefits using linking words. Replace "alleviate the feeling of being alone" with a clearer phrase such as "reduce loneliness."

例: I would like to take a long walk along the beach. The sea breeze and open views are very relaxing, and walking there helps me feel connected to nature rather than lonely.

提案: Avoid confusing tense and negative structures. Answer directly with a simple past sentence stating where you went most recently, and add one short detail about the walk. Remove fillers like "umm" and repeated phrases.

例: I haven't gone walking recently because I have been busy with work. The last time I walked, about a month ago, I went to the local park for about 30 minutes and found it quite tiring but refreshing.

× I rarely walk, I'm actually a bit lazy at times so I tend to just stay in my room and going outside.

✓ I rarely walk; I'm actually a bit lazy at times, so I tend to just stay in my room and not go outside.

The sentence mixes finite verbs with a gerund incorrectly. After 'tend to' the base form 'go' should be used, and the contrast requires 'not go outside' rather than 'going outside.' Also punctuation between independent clauses improves clarity.

× It's very rare 'cause it's a little bit tiring and the sun is always up so I'm not really fond of it.

✓ It's very rare because it's a little tiring and the sun is often up, so I'm not really fond of it.

Use the full conjunction 'because' in formal response and 'often' is more appropriate than 'always' for habitual situations. 'A little tiring' is preferred to 'a little bit tiring' for conciseness. This fixes sentence structure and formality.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child? -> Student: Yes, definitely. When I was a child, my mom and I used to go outside, not just to play around, but also to go with her friends and have some, uh, have some coffee and everything.

✓ Yes, definitely. When I was a child, my mom and I used to go outside not just to play, but also to meet her friends and have coffee.

'Play around' is informal and repetitive; use 'play.' 'Go with her friends' is unclear; 'meet her friends' expresses the intended meaning. Remove filler 'have some, uh, have some' for clarity. Verb tense 'used to' is correct; corrections improve word choice and clarity.

× Maybe it actually helps them to feel relaxed instead of the usual you staying at home and figure it out on your own.

✓ Maybe it helps them feel relaxed instead of staying at home and trying to figure things out on their own.

Replace 'to feel' with 'feel' after 'helps'. 'The usual you staying at home' is ungrammatical; use 'staying at home' and change 'figure it out on your own' to 'trying to figure things out on their own' for correct pronoun reference and natural phrasing.

× Some people would love to walk because it helps them understand what are they going through and how they can be able to fix it.

✓ Some people like to walk because it helps them understand what they are going through and how they can fix it.

Word order in 'what are they going through' is incorrect for a statement; correct form is 'what they are going through.' 'Can be able to fix it' is redundant; use 'can fix it' or 'are able to fix it.' Also change 'would love to' to 'like to' for general statement.

× I would love to take a long walk along the beach shore. It's not just relaxing, but it's also alleviate the feeling of being alone and you tend to be with nature.

✓ I would love to take a long walk along the beach. It's not just relaxing, but it also alleviates the feeling of being alone and makes you feel closer to nature.

After 'it's also' a verb must be in third person singular form: 'alleviates.' 'Beach shore' is redundant; 'beach' is enough. 'You tend to be with nature' is unnatural; 'makes you feel closer to nature' is clearer.

× I haven't working lately so I cannot be able to answer that.

✓ I haven't been working lately, so I cannot answer that.

The present perfect continuous requires 'have/has been' + present participle: 'haven't been working.' 'Cannot be able to answer' is redundant; use 'cannot answer' or 'am not able to answer.'

× However I I believe last month I did that umm along the park in here and it's a little bit tiring so I cannot be able to explain it.

✓ However, I believe I walked in the park here last month; it was a bit tiring, so I cannot describe it in detail.

Fix repeated word 'I I' and remove filler 'umm.' 'Did that along the park in here' is ungrammatical; use 'walked in the park here.' Use past simple 'walked' for a completed action last month. Replace 'cannot be able to explain it' with 'cannot describe it in detail' for clarity and correct verb usage.