Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 직접적이긴 하지만 문법 오류와 중복(‘reading’가 두 번 나옴), 장황한 표현이 있습니다. 간결한 주제문으로 시작하고 이유를 한두 개의 구체적 세부사항으로 뒷받침하세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 문장 흐름을 매끄럽게 하고 현재 시제 활용을 정확히 하세요.

例: Not really. Recently I'm studying intensively for the IELTS, so I spend most of my time at the library preparing for listening, reading, writing and speaking. Because of this study schedule, I don't have time to walk regularly, although I try to take short breaks for fresh air.

提案: 과거 시제 사용과 주어-동사 일치를 주의하세요(‘When I was a child’, ‘he/they were’ 등). 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 구체적 예시(몇 시간, 어떤 활동)를 포함해 기억을 더 생생하게 표현하세요. 연결어(‘for example’, ‘also’)로 문장 간 흐름을 개선하세요.

例: When I was a child, I was definitely an outdoorsy person. For example, my friend Mindy and I often went to a nearby park to play games such as running races and hide-and-seek. We also played soccer together almost every weekend because we loved active sports.

提案: 일반적 이유를 잘 제시했지만 문법(‘to be refreshing’, ‘it helps them’)과 어순 오류가 있어 의미 전달이 흐려집니다. 이유를 두세 가지로 나누고 구체적 결과(예: 기분 개선, 운동 효과)를 포함하세요. 연결어(‘for stress relief’, ‘also’)를 사용하세요.

例: People often walk in parks to relieve stress and clear their minds. For example, a quiet walk among trees can improve mood and reduce anxiety. Also, walking provides light exercise, which boosts energy and helps people feel refreshed.

提案: 희망 장소를 잘 말했지만 표현을 더 자연스럽게 다듬고 이유를 구체화하세요(예: 풍경, 활동, 분위기). ‘Central Park in the USA’보다는 ‘Central Park in New York’가 자연스럽습니다. 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 제한해 명확하게 답하세요.

例: I would like to take a long walk in Central Park in New York because it's my dream destination. The park's wide lawns and tree-lined paths seem perfect for a relaxing picnic and walking, which would help me clear my head.

提案: 과거 시제와 문장 구조를 정확히 하세요(‘we went there’, ‘we had a great time talking and laughing’). 감정 표현을 구체적으로 하고 한두 가지 디테일(언제, 누구와, 무엇을 했는지)을 추가하세요. 중복되는 접속사(So)를 줄여 응답을 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: Recently I went to a large park near my house with my family. We had a picnic, walked around the lake and spent time talking and laughing, which made it a very memorable afternoon.

× These days I'm not really because I'm busy studying for the IELTS exam so every day I go to a library to study exams.

✓ These days I'm not walking a lot because I'm busy studying for the IELTS exam, so every day I go to the library to study.

주어와 동사의 현재진행/현재상태를 적절히 사용해야 합니다. 'I'm not really' is incomplete; use 'I'm not walking a lot' to answer the question about walking. 'a library' should be 'the library' if referring to a specific place regularly used. 'study exams' is unnatural; use 'study' or 'prepare for the exams'. Suggestion: use clear present simple or present continuous forms depending on habit (I don't walk a lot) or current temporary situation (I'm not walking a lot).

× So I study listening, reading, writing and reading, speaking so I don't have time to walk a lot.

✓ So I study listening, reading, writing and speaking, so I don't have time to walk a lot.

리스트에 중복된 항목('reading' twice)과 연결어 사용 오류가 있습니다. 'listening, reading, writing and speaking'의 각 단어는 동명사 형태로 나열하는 것이 자연스럽습니다. 문장 연결 시 쉼표와 'so'로 연결하세요. Suggestion: avoid repetition and keep parallel structure in lists.

× When I child, I'm definitely outside person, so usually my friend Mindy and I went to a park and played together like run and hide and seek like that.

✓ When I was a child, I was definitely an outdoors person, so usually my friend Mindy and I went to the park and played games like running and hide-and-seek.

시제와 문장구조 오류입니다. 'When I child' should be 'When I was a child'. 'I'm definitely outside person' is incorrect form and tense; use 'I was definitely an outdoors person'. 'played together like run and hide and seek like that' is ungrammatical; use 'played games like running and hide-and-seek'. Also 'the park' is more natural for a specific park. Suggestion: use correct past tense and noun/adjective forms ('outdoors person', 'played games').

× And also we played the soccer together because he's very energetic and lively sports so we can enjoy it.

✓ We also played soccer together because she was very energetic and liked lively sports, so we enjoyed it.

대명사와 인칭일치 오류입니다. Student refers to 'my friend Mindy' (female), so use 'she' not 'he'. 'the soccer' is incorrect article use; say 'soccer'. 'lively sports' must agree with singular subject and tense: 'she was very energetic and liked lively sports'. 'so we can enjoy it' should be past tense 'so we enjoyed it' to match the past context. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree with the referenced person and maintain consistent past tense.

× Because these days many people get very stressed with studying or working, so if they want to refreshing and relieve stress, they go to park and work to clear their heads.

✓ Because these days many people get very stressed from studying or working, if they want to refresh and relieve stress, they go to the park and walk to clear their heads.

전치사와 동사 형태 오류입니다. 'stressed with' is less natural than 'stressed from' or 'stressed by'. 'want to refreshing' should be 'want to refresh' (infinitive). 'go to park' needs an article: 'go to the park'. 'work to clear their heads' does not make sense; likely 'walk to clear their heads'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions ('from/by'), verb forms (infinitive after 'want to'), and articles before singular countable nouns.

× It help they relieve stress so it's very useful.

✓ It helps them relieve stress, so it's very useful.

주어-동사 일치와 목적격 대명사 오류입니다. 'It help' should be 'It helps' to agree with singular subject 'it'. 'they' is incorrect object; use 'them'. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees in number with the subject and use correct object pronouns.

× I want to go to Central Park in USA because it's my dream place to visit.

✓ I want to go to Central Park in the USA because it's my dream place to visit.

국가 이름 앞에 관사 'the'가 필요한 경우가 있습니다. 'USA' usually takes 'the' when preceded by a preposition. Use 'the USA'. Suggestion: say 'in the USA' or 'in the United States'. Also 'Central Park' is in New York; consider 'Central Park in the USA' is acceptable but 'Central Park in New York' is more precise.

× It's very big and clear so I want to visit and enjoy picnic.

✓ It's very big and beautiful, so I want to visit and enjoy a picnic.

단어 선택과 관사 오류입니다. 'clear' is not natural to describe a park; 'beautiful' or 'spacious' is better. 'enjoy picnic' needs an article: 'enjoy a picnic'. Suggestion: choose appropriate adjectives and include articles before singular countable nouns.

× It help me clear my head.

✓ It helps me clear my head.

주어-동사 시제 일치 오류입니다. 'It' (singular) requires 'helps' in present tense. Suggestion: use correct third-person singular form 'helps'.

× I went to a park near my house which is very big so I can enjoy picnic and walking.

✓ I went to a park near my house which was very big, so I could enjoy a picnic and walk.

시제 일관성 및 관사 오류입니다. Main clause is past tense 'I went', so relative clause should use past 'was'. 'I can' should be past 'I could'. 'enjoy picnic and walking' needs article and parallel verb forms: 'enjoy a picnic and walk'. Suggestion: keep tenses consistent and use articles and parallel structures.

× So my family went to there and we have some great time to talk and laughing together.

✓ So my family went there and we had a great time talking and laughing together.

전치사와 시제, 동명사 형태 오류입니다. 'went to there' is incorrect; use 'went there'. Main narration is past, so 'we have' -> 'we had'. Use gerunds for activities: 'talking and laughing'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary prepositions, match past tense, and use gerunds for simultaneous actions.

× So it's very unforgettable memory.

✓ So it's a very unforgettable memory.

관사 누락과 어색한 표현입니다. 'unforgettable memory' is countable; use 'a'. However 'very unforgettable' is redundant; consider 'So it's an unforgettable memory.' Suggestion: include appropriate articles and avoid redundant modifiers like 'very unforgettable'.