Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with accuracy and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. whether you walk a lot), avoid repetition and minor word choice errors (work -> walk, eat -> meet), and organize supporting reasons using linking words. Also correct number phrasing and reduce redundancy.

例: I walk quite regularly; I usually aim for 5,000 to 8,000 steps a day. For example, because I have PCOS, staying active helps me feel better, so I walk around my house to reach my goal. As a result, I feel more energetic and healthier.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific supporting detail (when, who, or example). Use linking words for coherence (for example, because, so).

例: No, I rarely went outside for walks as a child. Instead, I walked inside our large house—especially along the long corridor—because it was safe and convenient, so I still got enough exercise.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition. Use varied vocabulary and finish your thoughts. Provide 2 distinct reasons with linking words and a short example to make it specific.

例: People enjoy walking in parks mainly because they can relax in nature and socialize. For instance, parks have trees, grass, and quiet paths, so families and friends can stroll together and chat while enjoying fresh air.

提案: Nice imagery—start with a direct topic sentence and reduce fillers (uh). Add a brief reason why you prefer that place and use one linking phrase to connect details.

例: I would like to take a long walk on the beach in Saint Martin at night because the calm sea and starry sky are very peaceful. For example, walking by moonlight would help me relax and reflect after a busy week.

提案: Answer clearly and keep tense consistent (use past or present appropriately). Remove repetition and give one specific recent time reference (e.g. yesterday, last week) and a reason using a linking word.

例: I haven't gone outside for a walk recently; last week I walked indoors in our long corridor because it is straight and safe, which helps me keep a steady pace.

× I don't usually work a lot but I try to hit 5K to 5000 steps to 8000 steps per day.

✓ I don't usually walk a lot but I try to reach 5,000 to 8,000 steps per day.

The student used 'work' instead of the correct verb 'walk' for the context (verb choice) and wrote an unclear range '5K to 5000 steps to 8000 steps'. Use 'reach' with a clear numeric range and consistent formatting. Suggestion: use the verb that matches the activity and present simple for habitual actions: 'I don't usually walk a lot but I try to reach 5,000 to 8,000 steps per day.'

× Since I have PCOS, it's really good for my body to be in movement so I walk around the house.

✓ Since I have PCOS, it's really good for my body to be moving, so I walk around the house.

The phrase 'to be in movement' is awkward and unidiomatic. Use the present participle phrase 'to be moving' to express ongoing physical activity. Maintain present simple for habitual action: 'I walk around the house.'

× I make sure that I eat my target steps everyday.

✓ I make sure that I achieve my target steps every day.

The verb 'eat' is incorrect for 'steps' (wrong verb choice). Use 'achieve' or 'reach' for goals. Also 'everyday' (adjective) should be the adverbial two-word form 'every day.' Suggestion: 'I make sure that I reach my target steps every day.'

× No, I did not go outside to walk to have a walk when I was a child.

✓ No, I did not go outside to go for a walk when I was a child.

The original repeats expressions and uses an awkward infinitive sequence 'go outside to walk to have a walk.' Use the common collocation 'go for a walk.' The past simple 'did not go' is correct; adjust the verb phrase for naturalness.

× I usually walked around the house.

✓ I usually walked around the house when I was a child.

The adverb 'usually' with past context should be followed by past simple, which is used, but the sentence lacks the time reference here in isolation. Adding 'when I was a child' clarifies the time frame and matches the examiner's question about childhood. If keeping present habitual, use 'I usually walk around the house.'

× Since we have a large house and a big corridor, I usually walk over there so that helps me reach my target steps.

✓ Since we have a large house and a big corridor, I usually walk there, so that helps me reach my target steps.

The phrase 'walk over there so that helps' is awkwardly connected. Insert a comma and simplify 'walk over there' to 'walk there.' The subject-verb agreement is acceptable, but sentence structure and connectors need smoothing. Suggestion: use a comma before 'so' to join clauses: '...I usually walk there, so that helps me reach my target steps.'

× People like to walk in parks because they can go there with their friends and family and it's they're closer to nature since parks have trees and they have sidewalks and grass and grass.

✓ People like to walk in parks because they can go there with their friends and family and feel closer to nature since parks have trees, sidewalks, and grass.

Problems: 'it's they're closer' is ungrammatical and mixes pronouns; 'feel' is the correct verb to express being closer to nature. Repetition 'grass and grass' should be corrected. Also use commas in lists. Suggestion: simplify and correct pronoun use and verb choice: '...and feel closer to nature since parks have trees, sidewalks, and grass.'

× So it helps them connect with nature and also spend time with their.

✓ So it helps them connect with nature and also spend time with their families.

The sentence ends with the possessive pronoun 'their' with no noun; this is incomplete. Provide the noun 'families' or 'friends' to complete the phrase. Suggestion: '...spend time with their families.'

× If I had the chance, I would take a long walk on the beach in St. in Saint Martin's at night when the sky is full of stars and the, uh, sea is calm, and I would just take a walk with moonlight and everything.

✓ If I had the chance, I would take a long walk on the beach in Saint Martin at night when the sky is full of stars and the sea is calm; I would just walk in the moonlight.

Problems: redundant and awkward place names ('St. in Saint Martin's'); incorrect possessive 'Saint Martin's' for the location; awkward repetition 'take a long walk' and 'take a walk with moonlight.' Use 'walk in the moonlight' as idiomatic. Also remove filler 'uh' and extra commas; use a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. Suggestion: '...walk on the beach in Saint Martin at night when the sky is full of stars and the sea is calm; I would just walk in the moonlight.'

× I didn't go outside for a walk.

✓ I didn't go outside for a walk recently.

The examiner asked 'Where did you go for a walk lately?' The student answers with past simple 'I didn't go' which is acceptable, but adding 'recently' clarifies the timeframe implied by 'lately.' Keep past simple for the recent past here. Suggestion: 'I didn't go outside for a walk recently.'

× I walk inside my house because we have a large corridor and since I can walk in a straight path, it helps me be coordinated.

✓ I walk inside my house because we have a large corridor, and since I can walk in a straight line, it helps me stay coordinated.

Use 'straight line' not 'straight path' for idiomatic expression; 'be coordinated' is odd—use 'stay coordinated' or 'improve my coordination.' Maintain present simple for habitual action. Also add a comma before 'and' to join clauses. Suggestion: '...and since I can walk in a straight line, it helps me stay coordinated.'

× So I walk inside my house in the long corridor.

✓ So I walk inside my house in the long corridor.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable in present simple. No change needed except it may be redundant; keep as is to emphasize habit. If desired, 'So I walk in the long corridor inside my house.' is an alternative word order.