Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ประเมิน: ควรเริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ และลดความซ้ำซ้อน ปรับไวยากรณ์และคำผิด (เช่น "non negotiable" และประโยคไม่สมบูรณ์) ให้เชื่อมประโยคด้วยคำเชื่อมสั้นๆ และจำกัดความยาวไม่เกิน 4-5 ประโยค ควรเพิ่มรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น ระยะเวลาในการเดินหรือสิ่งที่ทำขณะเดินเพื่อให้คำตอบชัดเจนและมีความเป็นธรรมชาติ

例: Yes, I walk quite a lot. I take a 20-minute walk after lunch and another 30-minute walk in the evening to clear my head. I try to make it part of my daily routine because sitting all day makes me feel stiff and tired.

提案: ประเมิน: คำตอบมีความไม่ชัดเจน ไวยากรณ์ผิดพลาด และข้อมูลไม่สอดคล้อง (เช่น "age 2") ควรตอบตรงคำถามเกี่ยวกับนิสัยในอดีต ใช้โครงสร้างที่ชัดเจนและตัวอย่างเฉพาะ เช่น กิจกรรมที่ทำกับเพื่อนหรือที่เล่น และเชื่อมประโยคด้วยคำเชื่อมง่ายๆ

例: Yes, I often went outside to walk when I was a child. We didn’t have smartphones, so after school I would walk or cycle with my friends for an hour, playing games and exploring the neighborhood.

提案: ประเมิน: ข้อความมีคำผิดและการเลือกคำไม่เหมาะสม (เช่น "allowed by what greens base","breed of fresh air") ควรใช้คำเฉพาะและเรียบง่าย อธิบายเหตุผลที่เป็นเหตุเป็นผล เช่น อากาศดี ความสงบ และสิ่งอำนวยความสะดวก พร้อมเชื่อมเหตุผลด้วยคำเชื่อม

例: I think people enjoy walking in parks because of the fresh air and green surroundings. Parks are peaceful and often have paths and benches, which make them ideal for exercise and relaxation.

提案: ประเมิน: คำตอบสับสน ไวยากรณ์ผิดหลายจุด และไม่มีประโยคตอบตรงจุด ควรเริ่มด้วยการตอบตรงๆ เลือกสถานที่และให้เหตุผลเฉพาะ เช่น ทิวทัศน์หรือบรรยากาศ และระบุระยะเวลาหรือกิจกรรมที่อยากทำขณะเดิน

例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk along a riverbank. I imagine walking for several hours there, enjoying the scenery and stopping at cafes along the way to rest.

提案: ประเมิน: คำตอบมีไวยากรณ์ไม่ถูกต้องบางส่วน (เช่น "I'm leaving the suburbs") และคำศัพท์ไม่ตรงบริบท ("perfect for working") แนะนำให้ตอบตรงคำถามอดีต/ล่าสุด ใช้ประโยคสั้นชัดเจน ระบุชื่อสถานที่หรือกิจกรรมเฉพาะ และเชื่อมเหตุผลด้วยคำเชื่อม

例: Lately I have been walking in the parks near my home in the suburbs of Bangkok. There are several green spaces nearby, so I usually go there to get some fresh air and escape the noisy city.

× This habit is non negotiable part of my routine and I find it my favorite way to.

✓ This habit is a non-negotiable part of my routine and I find it my favorite way to relax.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'non-negotiable part' and also missing the verb 'to relax' to complete the idea. Use hyphenation for the compound adjective 'non-negotiable'. Suggestion: add 'a', hyphenate 'non-negotiable' and include the verb 'relax' to make the sentence complete and grammatical.

× Absolutely, when I want a child that don't have mobile phone and much technology, the best way to.

✓ Absolutely, when I was a child and we didn't have mobile phones and much technology, walking was the best way to relax after school.

This sentence mixes tenses and uses incorrect verb forms. 'want' should be 'was' to refer to past time; 'don't have' should be 'didn't have' (past negative); 'mobile phone' should be plural 'mobile phones'; the clause is incomplete and needs 'walking was' and 'to relax after school' to finish the thought. Suggestion: set verbs to past tense and complete the sentence with the intended action.

× Relax after school, age 2, walking outside and cycle with friends.

✓ I relaxed after school, walked outside and cycled with friends.

The original uses inconsistent verb forms and fragments. To describe past habitual actions, use past tense verbs: 'relaxed', 'walked', 'cycled'. Also remove the unclear 'age 2' or replace with correct age if intended. Suggestion: use consistent past tense verbs and form a complete sentence.

× In my view people like to walk at park because park are allowed by what greens base that perfect for their health and make them always feel like a breed of fresh air.

✓ In my view people like to walk in parks because parks have green spaces that are perfect for their health and make them feel like they are breathing fresh air.

Use 'in parks' instead of 'at park'. 'Park are' is incorrect subject-verb agreement and should be 'parks have' (plural noun with verb). Phrases like 'allowed by what greens base' are incorrect and should be 'have green spaces'. 'Feel like a breed of fresh air' is incorrect collocation; use 'feel like they are breathing fresh air'. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'in', ensure subject-verb agreement, and replace awkward expressions with natural collocations.

× To be an age. I haven't tried long walk yet, but I'm keen to give it a shot.

✓ In terms of age, I haven't tried a long walk yet, but I'm keen to give it a shot.

'To be an age' is an unclear fragment; use 'In terms of age' if you mean 'regarding my age' or remove entirely. 'Long walk' needs an article: 'a long walk'. Suggestion: make the phrase coherent and add the article 'a' before 'long walk'.

× This day I deliberately gave out time for a long walk after one, but I haven't had time for a long walk recently.

✓ The other day I deliberately set aside time for a long walk, but I haven't had time for one recently.

'This day' is unnatural; use 'the other day' for a recent past event. 'Gave out time' is incorrect collocation; use 'set aside time'. 'After one' is unclear; replace with 'one' or 'one of my days' or omit. Suggestion: use natural past expressions and correct verb phrases like 'set aside' and use 'one' as a pronoun for 'a long walk'.

× If I have a shin, I'd like to walk along riverbank.

✓ If I had the chance, I'd like to walk along the riverbank.

'If I have a shin' is nonsensical; likely meant 'if I had the chance'. Use the conditional 'If I had' to match 'I'd like'. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'riverbank'. Suggestion: replace unclear word with 'the chance' and add 'the' before 'riverbank'.

× At the moment I'm leaving the suburbs of Bangkok.

✓ At the moment I live in the suburbs of Bangkok.

'I'm leaving the suburbs' implies departing rather than residing. Use 'I live in' to indicate current residence. Suggestion: replace 'leaving' with 'live in' to express where you currently reside.

× Fortunately, we are surrounded by several parks with green spaces that are perfect for working, so I often go there because it feels like a bit of fresh air away from urban life.

✓ Fortunately, we are surrounded by several parks with green spaces that are perfect for walking, so I often go there because it feels like a bit of fresh air away from urban life.

'Perfect for working' should be 'perfect for walking' given context. Ensure verb choice matches meaning. Suggestion: replace 'working' with 'walking' to convey intended activity.