Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, use correct grammar (e.g. 'I like to walk a lot' and 'there is a famous boulevard near my house'), and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: I walk a lot. There is a famous boulevard near my house, so whenever I have free time I go there to walk because it helps keep me fit and clears my mind.

提案: Answer directly and clarify meaning: begin with a clear statement (e.g. 'Yes, I often walked outside as a child'), avoid fillers, correct word choice ('worked' is wrong if you mean 'walked' or 'played'), and give a specific example of activities or places. Use one linking word like 'and' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. I grew up in a village, so I spent a lot of time outdoors exploring fields and walking along dirt paths, which helped me feel relaxed and connected to nature.

提案: Be clear and use accurate vocabulary: start with the main point ('People like parks because they are good for physical and mental health'), avoid misused words ('work' → 'walk'), and give specific reasons or examples, linked with 'first' and 'also'.

例: People like to walk in parks because they provide a calm environment for exercise and relaxation. For example, walking on a park trail improves fitness, and being among trees helps reduce stress and improve mood.

提案: Make the main idea clear and correct grammar: say 'I would like to take a long walk in the forest' and explain why with specific details. Use connectors like 'because' and correct phrases ('tourist paths', 'it is quite challenging so I need to be physically fit'). Keep to 2–3 supporting sentences.

例: I would like to take a long walk in a nearby forest because it has many scenic hiking trails. Some routes are quite long and challenging, so it would be a good chance to test and improve my fitness while enjoying nature.

提案: Answer directly with correct tense and clear details: begin with 'I went to...' or 'I was in...' Avoid filler words and unclear phrases ('working' is confusing). State when, where, what you did, and how it affected you. Use linking words like 'so' or 'and'.

例: Last week I went for a walk in my home village. I spent the whole day walking in the countryside, which felt refreshing and helped me relax mentally.

× Yes uh, I like uh, walk a lot and near my house, uh, is a uh, very famous Blvd.

✓ Yes, I like walking a lot, and near my house there is a very famous boulevard.

The verb 'like' is normally followed by a gerund when expressing a general preference (like + -ing). Also the clause 'near my house, is a very famous Blvd.' lacks a clear subject; add 'there' to form the existential construction 'there is' for location. Use 'boulevard' instead of abbreviation 'Blvd.' for spoken clarity.

× And when I have time, I always try uh, walking there and I think uh, so that walking is a very healthy way to improve uh, your body.

✓ And when I have time, I always try walking there, and I think walking is a very healthy way to improve your health.

After 'try' both the base form and gerund can be used but 'try walking' (gerund) is correct here meaning attempt that activity. 'Improve your body' is unnatural; use 'improve your health' or 'get in shape.' Remove filler words and redundant 'so that.' Keep consistent gerund use.

× Actually, I, uh, lived, uh, in the village when I was a child, so I used to work, umm, because it's a very natural way, uh, in the, uh, village, uh, and uh, also, uh, it's uh, very, uh, great for your mind to keep calm.

✓ Actually, I lived in a village when I was a child, so I used to go for walks because walking was a natural part of village life, and it was great for calming the mind.

The student mixed present and past tenses. Use past tense consistently when describing childhood: 'lived', 'used to', 'was'. 'Used to work' is unclear; context indicates walking, so 'used to go for walks' or 'walking was a natural part'. Clarify wording and use 'calming the mind' instead of 'keep calm.'

× Uh, I think people like to work in parks, uh, because, uh, uh, first of all, it's uh, uh, have very, uh, good way for healthy to improve, uh, your body shape.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because, first of all, it is a very good way to improve their health and body shape.

The verb 'work' is wrong; context requires 'walk.' 'It's have' is ungrammatical; use 'it is a very good way.' 'For healthy to improve' is incorrect word order and word choice—use 'to improve their health.' Use possessive 'their' to match plural 'people.'

× And also it's a very good for your mind, uh, to clear your mind to relish and to feels in nature.

✓ It is also very good for your mind: it helps clear your thoughts and allows you to enjoy being in nature.

Redundant 'your mind' and incorrect infinitive structures. 'To feels' is incorrect—use base verb 'feel' with subject 'you' or rephrase 'allows you to feel.' 'Relish' is usually followed by an object; 'enjoy being in nature' is clearer. Fix pronoun consistency and verb forms.

× If I had the chance, I would like to take longer walk in the forest because there are many touristic pathways and near my city, but it's also very long and difficult and I need the more physical.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to take a longer walk in the forest near my city because there are many tourist paths, but some routes are long and difficult, so I would need to be more physically fit.

Missing article before 'longer walk'—use 'a longer walk.' 'Touristic' is awkward; use 'tourist' or 'scenic.' 'Near my city' should be placed next to 'forest' for clarity. 'I need the more physical' is ungrammatical; express necessity as 'I would need to be more physically fit.' Keep conditional structure consistent (second conditional).

× I know was a in the village last week and I was working whole day.

✓ I was in the village last week and I worked the whole day.

'I know was a' is garbled; likely intended 'I was.' Use past simple 'was' and 'worked' for completed actions last week. Add article 'the' in 'the whole day.' Remove 'working' continuous unless emphasizing ongoing action; 'worked the whole day' is natural.

× Yeah, in the nature and for me it's was very relishing and also for my mind it's like.

✓ Yes, being in nature was very refreshing for me and good for my mind.

'In the nature' should be 'in nature' or 'being in nature.' 'It's was' mixes tenses; use past 'was.' 'Relishing' is incorrect adjective here; use 'refreshing' or 'relishing' as a verb with an object. Finish the thought 'good for my mind' rather than trailing 'it's like.'