Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect prepositions (use "in the morning", "at my local gym"). Keep under five sentences.

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk on the treadmill at my local gym in the morning for about an hour to an hour and a half, which helps me burn calories and energize my day.

提案: Provide a clear past-tense topic sentence and one specific supporting detail with smoother linking words. Correct tense and reduce hesitations and repetitions. Use 'used to' or simple past for past habits.

例: Yes, I used to go for walks with my father when I was a child because he valued a healthy lifestyle, so we often walked together in the evenings.

提案: Begin with a clear general statement, then give two specific reasons linked with connectors (for example, 'because' and 'also'). Fix grammar (plural/singular agreement) and avoid repeating 'main reason'.

例: People like walking in parks because parks have well-maintained paths and a pleasant environment, and also because they can meet others doing the same activity, plus parks are often close to people’s homes.

提案: Give a direct conditional sentence and one or two specific reasons using correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. 'go hiking', 'trails', 'varied terrain'). Avoid fillers and informal contractions like 'gonna'.

例: If I had the chance, I would go hiking on a mountain trail because I enjoy varied terrain and scenic views, and the physical challenge makes the walk more rewarding.

提案: Answer with a clear past-tense topic sentence, give precise details (distance and time) and link reasons using connectors. Clean up redundancies and incorrect phrasing (e.g. 'I walked a 5-kilometre trail in about 1 hour 10 minutes').

例: Last week I walked a five-kilometre trail near my house; it took me about one hour and ten minutes, and I chose that route because the weather was nice and the trail is pleasant and convenient.

× I love to walk, I usually go for a walk at morning in the in my nearest gym.

✓ I love to walk. I usually go for a walk in the morning at my nearest gym.

Use 'in the morning' (correct prepositional phrase) and remove duplicate 'in the'. Also split into two sentences for clarity. 'At morning' is incorrect; use 'in the morning'. Place 'at my nearest gym' after 'walk' for natural order.

× So I use treadmill almost for like 1 hour or 1 1/2 hours so which burns lots of calorie and then I also enjoyed it a lot.

✓ I use the treadmill for almost one hour or one and a half hours, which burns a lot of calories, and I enjoy it a lot.

Use definite article 'the treadmill'. Write numbers in words for clarity. 'Which burns' should refer to the preceding clause; use singular 'a lot of calories'. Use present tense 'enjoy' to match habitual action. Remove filler 'like'.

× Yeah, I usually go for a walk with my father during my childhood days because he was also loved to do walk walking because he was, he was also very fond of like living healthy lifestyles, so.

✓ Yeah, I usually went for walks with my father during my childhood because he also loved walking and was very fond of living a healthy lifestyle.

When referring to past habitual actions, use past tense 'went' and 'loved'. 'Do walk walking' is incorrect; use 'loved walking'. 'Childhood days' is redundant; use 'childhood'. Use 'a healthy lifestyle' (singular) and remove filler 'like'.

× People usually walks in park because like there is a proper path for walking and also they have some interactions with other people who are also doing the same activity.

✓ People usually walk in parks because there are proper paths for walking, and they can interact with other people who are doing the same activity.

Subject-verb agreement: 'people' plural takes 'walk', not 'walks'. Use plural 'parks' or 'a park' consistently and 'there are' for plural 'paths'. Remove filler 'like' and improve cohesion by adding 'can' for ability to interact.

× And also it's near our houses, so that's the main reason I think so.

✓ Also, it is near our houses, so I think that's the main reason.

Remove extra 'so' at the end. Place 'I think' before the clause for natural word order. No complex preposition error beyond redundancy and word order.

× Uh, I love to go for like hiking.

✓ Uh, I love to go hiking.

Use gerund 'hiking' without 'for' after 'go'. 'Go for hiking' is incorrect; correct form is 'go hiking'.

× So definitely I would choose any trail because during trail we can find a different types of, uh, ups and down over there.

✓ I would definitely choose a trail because on a trail we can find different types of ups and downs.

Use 'a trail' rather than 'any trail' in this context. Use 'on a trail' preposition and plural 'types' matches 'different types'. Use 'ups and downs' plural and remove fillers.

× So if I get a chance, I definitely gonna choose any trail.

✓ So if I get a chance, I will definitely choose a trail.

Use 'will' for future; 'gonna' is informal and incorrect in formal speech. Use 'choose a trail' rather than 'choose any trail' for naturalness.

× Uh, recently I went for a walk at like the normal trail near my house, which was last week.

✓ Recently, I went for a walk on the usual trail near my house, which was last week.

Use 'on the trail' rather than 'at the trail'. 'Normal trail' is better as 'usual trail'. Place commas for clarity.

× So it's almost 5 kilometers.

✓ It was almost five kilometers long.

Specify measurement with 'long' and use past tense 'was' to match 'last week'. Write number as word in text.

× So I did it, did it in like 1 and one hour and 1 hours, 10 minutes, like something that, so that day the weather is so good.

✓ I completed it in about one hour and ten minutes. The weather that day was very good.

Simplify to 'completed it in about one hour and ten minutes.' Use 'was' for past tense 'the weather was'. Remove repetition 'did it, did it' and filler 'like something that'.