Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并保持句子简洁。注意时态和语法（例如“I walked a lot during junior high school”或“ I still walk a lot”），避免语音填充词（uh）和冗余（keep me myself）。可以用一到两句陈述当前习惯，再给一两个具体原因。

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I used to walk to school in junior high, and I still walk regularly now because it helps me stay fit and improves my mood.

提案: 注意一致的时态（过去时），简化句子结构并提供具体细节。例如说明常去的地点或常做的活动。避免重复和不自然的短语（cooperate to have some games）。

例: Yes, I often walked outside when I was a child. Our neighborhood was large, so I would walk around to meet friends and play games like tag or hide-and-seek.

提案: 先给出主题句，再用连词（for example, because）展开具体理由。注意用词搭配（good air condition -> fresh air; healthy lifestyle），避免机械重复“lose their weight”与“control their shape”。可提及更多原因如放松、社交。

例: People like walking in parks mainly because the air is fresher and it feels relaxing. For example, parks offer quiet paths for exercise, social areas to meet friends, and pleasant scenery that reduces stress.

提案: 句子可以更自然并注意形容词和名词搭配（suitable for my needs; relax my mind）。避免重复表达（I think... I think）。用一两句描述原因并给出具体活动或感受。

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in Sanya. The sunny beaches and sea breezes are perfect for relaxing, and walking along the shore would help me refresh my mind and feel energized.

提案: 使用正确的时态（past: I went）并简洁表达感受。避免抽象且夸张的表述（gain a lot of power）。可以具体说明散步的时间、路线或带来的具体好处（relaxed, less stressed, more energetic）。

例: I went to the park near my home recently and took a long walk in the evening. The fresh air and gentle exercise made me feel relaxed and more energetic, which helped me think more clearly about my problems.

× Yes, I work like in my junior high school period.

✓ Yes, I walked a lot during my junior high school years.

句子时态和表达不自然。原句用现在时“work”与“junior high school period”搭配不合适，且“work like”用法错误。改为过去时“walked”并用“during my junior high school years”更地道。建议根据描述的时间点使用正确的时态并使用固定搭配。

× We can choose to drive to school, but I also choose walk to school.

✓ We could choose to drive to school, but I also chose to walk to school.

原句时态不一致，描述过去的习惯应使用过去时态，同时动词搭配不当，“choose walk”缺少不定式“to walk”。建议整句使用过去时并注意动词不定式结构。

× It can uh, let me lose my weight and keep me myself in a good shape.

✓ It can, uh, help me lose weight and keep myself in good shape.

“let me lose my weight”用法生硬且多余定冠词“my”，应使用“help someone do sth”结构。“keep me myself”重复且错误，改为“keep myself”。“in a good shape”中不定冠词多余，改为“in good shape”。建议学习固定搭配“help someone do something”和代词反身形式。

× Yes, I often go outside to have a walk when I was tired because my community is very big, is a huge community, and I often go outside and to find my friends and we cooperate to have some games and we often walk around the surroundings.

✓ Yes, I often went outside for a walk when I was tired because my community was very big. It was a huge community. I often went out to find my friends; we played games together and often walked around the neighborhood.

句子时态混乱，应统一使用过去时描述过去的习惯。原句中有重复和冗余表达（“is a huge community”与前句冲突），动词搭配不自然（“cooperate to have some games”应为“played games together”），以及“surroundings”用词不自然，改为“neighborhood”。建议统一时态，简化句子并使用常见短语。

× I think a walking in the park provides not only a good air condition but also healthy lifestyle to the human.

✓ I think walking in the park provides not only good air but also a healthy lifestyle for people.

“a walking”不需要不定冠词，且“air condition”用法错误，应为“air”或“fresh air”。“healthy lifestyle”前需要不定冠词“a”，且“to the human”不自然，改为“for people”。建议注意可数名词与不可数名词的冠词使用及固定搭配。

× They think walking in the parks can make them lose their weight and just control their shape.

✓ They think walking in parks can make them lose weight and help them control their shape.

“parks”复数可但上下文一般用单数或不加冠词更自然；“lose their weight”中“their”可以省略或用“weight”更自然；“just control their shape”中“just”多余，改为“help them control their shape”。建议注意代词的必要性及简洁表达。

× If I had a chance to take a long walk, I would choose Sanya as my destination because I think the sunshine, the sea there are very suit my needs and I think there's the best place where I cannot only relax my mindset but also to make my life more fantastic.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would choose Sanya as my destination because I think the sunshine and the sea there suit my needs. I think it's the best place where I can not only relax my mind but also make my life more fantastic.

“have a chance”改为定冠词“the chance”更常见；“the sunshine, the sea there are very suit my needs”语序和动词不正确，应为“sunshine and the sea there suit my needs”。“cannot only... but also to make”语法错误，应为“can not only... but also...”，动词不定式的一致性要注意。建议练习固定结构“not only... but also...”以及动词与主语的一致性。

× OK, I just went to the park close to my home to have a long walk and I feel pretty good because when through The Walking experience I gain a lot of power that I can use this power to overcome some difficulties in my life and I feel powerful and feel energetic.

✓ OK, I just went to the park close to my home for a long walk and I felt pretty good because through the walking experience I gained a lot of energy that I could use to overcome some difficulties in my life, and I felt powerful and energetic.

叙述过去的经历应使用过去时（felt, gained, could）。“when through The Walking experience”结构错误，改为“through the walking experience”。“gain a lot of power”用词不自然，改为“gained a lot of energy”。建议统一过去时，使用自然搭配并删去多余词汇。