Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp (thì và động từ), phát âm vài từ, và làm câu rõ ràng hơn. Hạn chế bắt đầu câu bằng "Well" quá nhiều; mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, sau đó đưa chi tiết cụ thể. Sửa lỗi động từ (it save → it saves) và tránh lặp từ không cần thiết.

例: Yes, I walk a lot because it's good exercise and it saves money. For example, I usually walk to the market and to the bus stop almost every day, which helps me stay active and cut transport costs.

提案: Chú ý chia đúng thì (like → liked, walk → walked) và dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng. Tránh dùng "for example" khi mô tả thói quen; thay bằng cụm nối phù hợp. Thêm từ mô tả cụ thể để làm câu sinh động hơn.

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child because my parents liked taking us to the park. Every Sunday we walked to the nearby park and played there for about an hour, which I always enjoyed.

提案: Sửa từ bị nhầm (bars → parks) và câu chứa động từ sai (people like to work → visit/spend time). Tránh câu dài lủng củng; dùng liên từ để tạo mạch logic. Nên đưa ví dụ cụ thể và liên quan.

例: I think parks are relaxing and pleasant places where people can breathe fresh air and enjoy nature. As a result, many people visit parks to walk their dogs, meet friends, or unwind after work, which helps reduce stress.

提案: Cần sửa nhiều chỗ mơ hồ và lỗi từ (wires speak, shower) — có vẻ bạn muốn nói 'seaside' hoặc 'seafront' và 'sea breeze'. Tránh câu hỏi tu từ không cần thiết (right?). Nên nêu địa điểm rõ ràng và cung cấp lý do cụ thể kèm hoạt động.

例: I'd like to take a long walk along the seafront because the sea breeze is relaxing and helps me clear my mind. For example, I would walk slowly, enjoy the sunset and maybe take some photos.

提案: Sửa ngữ pháp thì (want → wanted), cụm 'get some fresh' không hoàn chỉnh (fresh air). Cần gỡ bỏ câu không phù hợp và cực kỳ nghiêm trọng ('I can kill people') — đó là lỗi nghiêm trọng về nội dung. Thay bằng mô tả an toàn, lịch sự về hoạt động và cảm xúc. Luôn kiểm tra nội dung trước khi nói.

例: Last weekend I went for a walk in the park near my home because I wanted to get some fresh air and relax. For example, I strolled around the lake and sat on a bench to read for a while.

× it save money.

✓ it saves money.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it' (singular) requires the third person singular verb form 'saves'. Use 'saves' to match the singular subject.

× I often walk to the market and to the bus stop and I do that almost every day.

✓ I often walk to the market and to the bus stop, and I do that almost every day.

This sentence mainly needs punctuation for clarity; the verbs are in present simple and correct. Add a comma before 'and' to separate independent clauses and improve readability.

× I often went outside to have a walk when I was a child because my parents like to take us to the park.

✓ I often went outside to have a walk when I was a child because my parents liked to take us to the park.

Tense consistency: the main clause is in past tense ('went'), so the subordinate clause should also be past ('liked') to maintain consistent past narration.

× every Sunday we walk to the nearby park and play there for an hour and I always enjoy it.

✓ Every Sunday we walked to the nearby park and played there for an hour, and I always enjoyed it.

Tense consistency: the student is describing habitual actions in childhood (past), so verbs should be in past tense: 'walked', 'played', 'enjoyed'. Also capitalize sentence start and add a comma for clarity.

× bars are relaxing and pleasant places.

✓ parks are relaxing and pleasant places.

Word choice error: 'bars' refers to drinking establishments, but the question asks about parks. Use 'parks' to match context.

× People like to work there because they can breathe fresh air and enjoy nature, and it helps them reduce stress after work.

✓ People like to go there because they can breathe fresh air and enjoy nature, and it helps them reduce stress after work.

Word choice: 'work' is incorrect in this context; people go to parks, not work there (in general). Use 'go' to express visiting the park.

× so walking in paths is very popular.

✓ so walking on paths is very popular.

Preposition accuracy: use 'on paths' rather than 'in paths' when referring to walking along path surfaces.

× I would like to take a long walk along the wires speak.

✓ I would like to take a long walk along the seashore.

Nonsensical phrase 'wires speak' appears to be incorrect or mistranscribed. Replace with a coherent noun phrase matching context such as 'seashore' or 'coast'. This fixes sentence meaning and structure.

× The sea air is relaxing and the shower always helps me forget, right?

✓ The sea air is relaxing and the sea breeze always helps me forget my worries.

Word choice and meaning: 'shower' is incorrect here; likely intended 'breeze' or 'sound'. Replace with 'sea breeze' and add 'my worries' for clarity; remove informal tag 'right?' unless conversational tone is required.

× I went for a walk in the park near my home last weekend because I want to get some fresh and relax.

✓ I went for a walk in the park near my home last weekend because I wanted to get some fresh air and relax.

Tense consistency and missing words: main clause is past ('went'), so subordinate verbs should be past ('wanted'). Also 'fresh' needs the noun 'air' and 'relax' is fine but should follow 'and' without 'to' here.

× For example, I can kill people.

✓ For example, I can relax and clear my mind.

Inappropriate and nonsensical content: 'I can kill people' is likely a severe mistranslation or misuse of words. Replace with a harmless, context-appropriate phrase such as 'I can relax and clear my mind' to match walking in the park.