Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear. Start with a concise topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two brief reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and irrelevant phrases.

例: Not really. I used to walk more, but since I joined my father's business I now sit long hours in the office, so I don’t have much time for walking.

提案: Answer directly and use past tense for childhood. Use one linking word to explain frequency and a specific example. Remove hesitations and repetition.

例: Not often. As a child I rarely went for walks, but I did join friends sometimes for morning walks or cycling on weekends.

提案: Give a clear, structured answer: state main reasons and support with brief specifics. Use linking words (for example, because, while) and avoid filler words and repetition.

例: People like walking in parks for different reasons: for example, younger people often walk to keep fit and exercise, while older people may walk to manage health problems and enjoy fresh air.

提案: Give a clear location and concise reasons. Use correct collocations (walk on the beach, lift my mood) and avoid unnecessary details. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: I would take a long walk along RC Beach because it has a long stretch of sand. I would walk on the beach to watch the sunrise or sunset, which always lifts my mood and helps me relax.

提案: Answer in past tense for a recent event (e.g., "I went"). Give one clear location and one or two specific details about what you saw or did. Avoid vague phrases and tense confusion.

例: Lately I went for a night walk in the park near my home. It has a pleasant atmosphere and I often see many people chatting, which makes the walk sociable and relaxing.

× Yes, I want to work a little more, but recently after joining my father's business I had to sit for long hours in my office, so I don't have really much time to be in working.

✓ Yes, I want to work a little more, but recently after joining my father's business I have had to sit for long hours in my office, so I don't really have much time to do any work.

The sentence mixes past simple and present meaning; 'recently' with ongoing effect requires present perfect ('have had to'). 'Don't have really much time to be in working' is ungrammatical: use 'don't really have much time to do any work' or 'to work'. Use correct word order for adverbs ('don't really have'). Suggestions: use present perfect for recent actions with present relevance and use 'do work' or simply 'work' instead of 'be in working'.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

This sentence is grammatically acceptable in past simple question form. No correction needed.

× Not really, but it depends on some occasion. Whenever I have some friends who are who are wanting to meet in morning to have some cycling or walking, I will prefer to join them.

✓ Not really, but it depends on the occasion. Whenever I have friends who want to meet in the morning to cycle or walk, I prefer to join them.

'Depends on some occasion' is awkward; use 'the occasion'. 'Who are who are wanting' is incorrect and redundant; 'who want' (simple present) is correct for habitual actions. Use nouns/verbs properly: 'to cycle or walk' instead of 'to have some cycling or walking'. 'In morning' needs the article 'in the morning'. 'Will prefer' should be 'prefer' because it's a habitual action, not a future intention. Suggestions: remove redundancy, use simple present for habits, and correct articles.

× Uh, it depends on person to person, vary to uh, person to person because uh, some young ones, uh, work for their health and their fitness, but for older ones, they work for their, uh, health issues to get better fit and better for their time.

✓ It depends from person to person. Some young people walk for health and fitness, while older people walk to improve health or manage health issues.

Original is repetitive and ungrammatical. Use idiomatic 'from person to person' or 'varies from person to person'. 'Young ones' and 'older ones' are informal; use 'young people' and 'older people'. 'Work for their health' is wrong verb choice; use 'walk for their health'. 'To get better fit and better for their time' is unclear; corrected to 'to improve health or manage health issues'. Suggestions: use clear subjects and verbs, avoid filler words, and choose appropriate vocabulary.

× I would go go for coffee with RC beach because it has a long sea beach. I will prefer to walk in the beach and have to see some sunset and sunrise. It really upscale my mood.

✓ I would go to RC Beach for coffee because it has a long shoreline. I would prefer to walk on the beach and watch the sunrise and sunset. It really uplifts my mood.

Remove duplicate 'go'. 'Go for coffee with RC beach' is wrong; people go to a place, so 'go to RC Beach for coffee'. 'Long sea beach' is awkward; 'long shoreline' or 'long beach' is idiomatic. Use 'walk on the beach' not 'in the beach'. 'Have to see some sunset and sunrise' should be 'watch the sunrise and sunset'. 'It really upscale my mood' uses wrong verb; 'uplifts my mood' is correct present tense. Suggestions: correct prepositions ('to' a place, 'on' the beach), use correct verbs ('watch', 'uplifts'), and avoid redundancy.

× If it's a night I prefer to walk in my near Home Park because it's a very good ambience park for everyone. Wake up and if you are walking you can see a lot of people and have some chit chat with them.

✓ If it's nighttime I prefer to walk in the nearby home park because it has a pleasant atmosphere for everyone. If you go for a walk there you can see a lot of people and chat with them.

'If it's a night' is not idiomatic; use 'if it's nighttime' or 'at night'. 'My near Home Park' is incorrect article and word order; use 'the nearby home park' or 'the park near my home'. 'Ambience park' is wrong collocation; use 'pleasant atmosphere' or 'nice environment'. 'Wake up and if you are walking' is unclear; rephrase to 'If you go for a walk there'. 'Have some chit chat' can be 'chat' or 'have a chat'. Suggestions: fix articles and word order, use natural collocations, and simplify phrases for clarity.