Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 질문에 직접적으로 답한 후 추가 정보를 더 명확하게 연결하세요. 현재 답변은 ‘work’와 ‘walk’가 혼동을 주며 문법 오류와 불필요한 길이를 포함합니다. 주제 문장을 명확히 하고, 연결어를 사용해 이유와 빈도(예: often, usually)를 덧붙이세요. 발음에서 축약과 리듬을 다듬으면 더 자연스럽게 들립니다.

例: Yes, I do walk a lot. I often go for walks in the park after work because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

提案: 문법 오류(‘I was children’)를 바로잡으세요. 과거 습관을 말할 때 'used to'를 적절히 사용하고, 구체적인 활동이나 빈도를 덧붙여 답을 풍부하게 하세요. 연결어(For example, Often)로 세부사항을 연결하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I did. I used to play and walk outside almost every day when I was a child, often exploring nearby fields and parks with my friends.

提案: 말을 망설이는 소음(‘umm’)을 줄이고 문장을 간결하고 논리적으로 구성하세요. 'the presence of air' 같은 중복 표현을 피하고 이유를 분명히 제시하세요. 연결어(For example, Because, Also)를 사용해 결과를 보여주고 구체적 예시를 추가하세요.

例: I think people like walking in parks because the trees and fresh air create a calm environment, which helps reduce stress and improves mood.

提案: 조건문 질문('if you had the chance')에 맞게 가정 형태로 답변하세요. 현재 시제와 중복 표현('I often recently I often')을 정리하고, 한두 문장으로 명확히 이유와 장소를 설명하세요. 연결어(so, because)로 이유를 간결히 연결하세요.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the river near my city because it offers long, quiet paths and beautiful scenery that help me relax.

提案: 답변은 과거 시제 질문에 맞춰야 합니다. 'lately'에 대한 대답으로 최근의 특정 시간 표현(eg. yesterday, last weekend)과 구체적 활동을 포함하세요. 문장 구조를 정리해 한두 문장으로 명확히 전달하세요.

例: Lately I went to the small park near my house last weekend. It was very quiet and I went there to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and take a short walk.

× Yes, I work a lot these days. I enjoy walking at the park, it makes me relax.

✓ Yes, I work a lot these days. I enjoy walking in the park; it helps me relax.

The phrase 'at the park' is acceptable but 'in the park' is more natural for walking inside a park. Using a comma splice ('..., it makes me relax') incorrectly joins two independent clauses; replace with a semicolon or separate into two sentences. 'Helps me relax' is more idiomatic than 'makes me relax.' Suggestions: use 'in the park' and connect clauses properly (use semicolon or period) and prefer 'helps me relax.' Grammar problem type's ID:6

× Yes I did. I used to spend time outside when I was children.

✓ Yes I did. I used to spend time outside when I was a child.

The subject 'I' requires singular noun 'a child.' 'Children' is plural and does not agree with 'I.' Suggestion: use 'a child' or rephrase to 'when I was young.' Grammar problem type's ID:1

× Umm, I think the most important factors that umm, the presence of air, trees and fresh air, it makes people release their stress.

✓ Umm, I think the most important factors are the presence of trees and fresh air, which help people relieve stress.

Original sentence is ungrammatical: missing main verb after 'factors' and contains redundancy ('air' and 'fresh air'). 'It makes people release their stress' is awkward; use 'help people relieve stress.' Use a relative clause 'which help...' to refer back to 'factors.' Suggestions: remove redundancies and ensure subject-verb agreement and clear clause structure. Grammar problem type's ID:26

× I often recently I often go a small park nearby my house. It takes 5 minutes walk from my house so it is easy to go there. And this park is really peaceful. I like the atmosphere.

✓ Recently I often go to a small park near my house. It is a five-minute walk from my house, so it is easy to go there. This park is really peaceful and I like the atmosphere.

Redundant 'I often recently I often' fixed to 'Recently I often.' Use 'go to a park' (require preposition 'to') and 'near my house' is more natural than 'nearby my house.' 'Five-minute' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before 'walk.' 'It takes 5 minutes walk' is ungrammatical; use 'It is a five-minute walk' or 'It takes five minutes to walk there.' Combine short sentences for flow. Suggestions: use proper prepositions ('to', 'near'), hyphenate compound adjectives, and choose correct verb constructions for time/distance. Grammar problem type's ID:6

× As I said, I usually go to a small park nearby my house that places the most frequently. Go there these days and there are not many people.

✓ As I said, I usually go to a small park near my house most frequently. I go there these days and there are not many people.

'Nearby my house' should be 'near my house.' The relative clause 'that places the most frequently' is incorrect and unnecessary; 'most frequently' should modify 'go.' 'Go there these days' needs a subject 'I.' Suggestions: place adverbs correctly ('most frequently'), use 'near' not 'nearby' before a noun, and include explicit subjects for verbs. Grammar problem type's ID:6