Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答内容较完整，但有重复和语法错误，句子较长且缺少连贯的连接词。建议简化句子结构，避免重复，注意时态和冠词，用连接词如“because”或“however”使表达更自然。可把信息分为主题句和一到两句支持细节，控制在5句内。

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk to school and the canteen, and I typically get about 5,000 to 8,000 steps a day. However, I'm lazier at the weekends and sometimes stay at home all day.

提案: 回答情感描述丰富，但存在重复（"chat with each other and chatted"）和赘词（"enjoyable pleasure"），语法和用词不够精准。建议用一两句清楚描述习惯和感受，使用连接词如“and”或“which”，避免重复表达并用更恰当的形容词。

例: Yes, I used to go for walks with my parents after supper. We enjoyed the evening city scenery and talked about our day, which was a pleasant and memorable family routine.

提案: 观点明确且有逻辑，但有词汇误用（如“Basel”应为“bustling”或“built”）和单复数错误（"it's the only places"）。建议纠正词汇和语法，使用连接词如“because”或“so”使句子更顺畅，并给出一两个具体原因或例子。

例: People like walking in parks because parks offer a peaceful green space amid busy cities. Since many urban areas are full of buildings and noise, parks give people a chance to relax and enjoy nature.

提案: 信息表达混乱，有较多语法错误（如“have went”应为“went”或“have gone”），句子不连贯且重复。建议先给出直接答案，然后用一两句解释原因并使用恰当时态和词汇。避免冗长犹豫词。

例: I'd like to take a long walk in the Suzhou gardens. I haven't had the chance to visit them yet, but I heard the classical architecture and beautiful landscapes there are very attractive.

提案: 回答能传达时间和地点，但有语法和用词问题（如“wandered with each other”“we can just see”应为“we could see”），句子有重复。建议使用更自然的短句描述活动顺序，注意过去时一致，替换重复短语。

例: Just yesterday after supper I went for a walk with my little brother around our community. We walked along the paths and saw several elderly couples strolling together.

× Yes, I'm a Senior High School student and I often walk to school and walk to canteen and I walk during most of my commutes and I walk around 5000 steps to 8000 a day. But at weekends I'm a little bit lazy. I even stay at home for a whole day.

✓ Yes, I'm a senior high school student and I often walk to school and to the canteen. I walk during most of my commutes and usually take around 5,000 to 8,000 steps a day. But at weekends I'm a little bit lazy; I even stay at home for a whole day.

句子中多次使用重复的动词“walk”造成冗余，应使用更自然的现在时描述经常性动作并简化表达；数字应加逗号和“to”表示范围；“canteen”前需加定冠词“the”。建议使用一般现在时说明习惯性动作，并合并相近短句以提高流畅性。

× Yes, I still remember I used to go out to take a walk after supper with my parents and I, and we enjoyed the, uh, evening scenery of the hustle and bustle in the city and chat with each other and chatted with each other.

✓ Yes, I still remember I used to go out for a walk after supper with my parents, and we enjoyed the evening scenery of the bustling city and chatted with each other.

叙述回忆应使用过去时，“enjoyed”和“chatted”要一致；原句中同时出现“chat”和“chatted”时态混用且重复，应保留过去式“chatted”。删除多余的填充词并使用固定搭配“for a walk”和“bustling city”。

× Maybe because it's the only places nowadays in the household Basel cities. Nowadays people commute from companies or schools or apartments, but the skyscrapers and concrete jungles are everywhere, so only in parks can they find a place close to nature.

✓ Maybe because parks are the only places nowadays in residential cities where people can get close to nature. Nowadays people commute from homes to offices or schools and the skyscrapers and concrete jungles are everywhere, so only in parks can they find a place close to nature.

原句中“in the household Basel cities”词序和用词不当，应改为“in residential cities”或“in cities”。“commute from companies or schools or apartments”也不合适，应改为“commute from homes to offices or schools”。调整介词和短语顺序使表达更自然。

× I think it must be the Suzhou gardens. I have went to Hangzhou for, uh, when I was in primary school, but it's quite a, it was quite a pity that I do not that I didn't have an opportunity to go there.

✓ I think it must be the Suzhou gardens. I went to Hangzhou when I was in primary school, but it was a pity that I didn't have an opportunity to go there.

“have went”是错误的过去分词形式，正确为“have gone”或直接用一般过去时“went”。句中时态混乱且有重复“it's quite a, it was quite a”，应统一为过去时“it was a pity”。建议使用正确的动词过去式或现在完成式，避免重复。

× And I heard that the architect, the conventional architecture and the natural scenery there is beautiful and attractive.

✓ And I heard that the architecture and the natural scenery there are beautiful and attractive.

主语“the architecture and the natural scenery”为并列复数，谓语应使用复数“are”；“architect”用词不当，应为“architecture”。修正主谓一致和名词选择。

× Maybe just yesterday. Yesterday after supper, I, uh, went out with my little brother, just in the community. We wandered with each other around the road and on the path and we can just see other old couples strolled with each other.

✓ Maybe just yesterday. Yesterday after supper I went out with my little brother, just in our community. We walked around the road and along the path, and we could see other older couples strolling together.

叙述已发生的动作应使用过去时，原句中“can just see”与过去时不一致，应改为“could see”；“wandered with each other”用法不自然，改为“walked”；“old couples”更礼貌的说法为“older couples”；“strolled with each other”应改为进行时或动名词短语“strolling together”。