Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct small errors, and combine ideas concisely. Add a brief reason or routine detail with a linking word. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually try to walk about ten kilometres a day, but I don’t always manage to because of work. However, I make an effort most days since walking helps me stay fit and clear my mind.

提案: Avoid repetition and redundant phrases. Give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like 'and' or 'so' to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I often went outside as a child. We had a backyard, so I used to play and walk there with my cat, which was one of my favourite activities.

提案: Correct grammar and be more specific about reasons. Begin with a topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific benefits linked logically. Use phrases like 'because' and 'for example.'

例: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and reduce stress. For example, fresh air and greenery improve mood, and the peaceful environment makes exercise more enjoyable.

提案: Make the sentence more concise and correct small grammar issues. Start with a direct statement and support it with a brief reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'as'.

例: I would like to take a long walk in the Icelandic mountains because my home is very hot, and I prefer cooler climates for long hikes.

提案: Correct factual impossibilities and grammar, be concise and realistic. Give a clear past-tense topic sentence, a realistic distance or duration, and one or two effects of the walk using linking words like 'so' or 'and.'

例: A few days ago I went for a long walk in a nearby forest. It lasted about two hours, and afterwards I felt much happier and less stressed.

× Yes, I work lot.

✓ Yes, I work a lot.

Missing article 'a' before 'lot'. 'A lot' is the correct adverbial phrase meaning 'frequently' or 'many'. Add 'a' to make the phrase grammatically correct. Suggestion: Use 'a lot' after verbs to indicate frequency: 'I work a lot.'

× I try to walk about 10 kilometers a day.

✓ I try to walk about 10 kilometers a day.

No correction needed. Sentence is present simple describing habitual action; tense and form are correct. (Included here only to confirm it meets the allowed list and requires no change.)

× I'm not always successful, but I try my best.

✓ I'm not always successful, but I try my best.

No correction needed. Sentence uses present simple and present continuous appropriately to describe a general habit and current state.

× Yes, when I was a child we we used to have a backyard and I used to go out and play with my cat in our backyard and we used to walk together.

✓ Yes, when I was a child we used to have a backyard, and I used to go out and play with my cat in our backyard, and we used to walk together.

Main issues: repeated word 'we' (typo) and run-on sentence that needs commas for clarity. The use of 'used to' is correct for past habitual actions. Fix the typo and add commas to separate clauses so the sentence reads clearly. Suggestion: Remove duplicated word and use punctuation to separate ideas.

× People like to walk in parks because they don't want to be stressful and walking helps.

✓ People like to walk in parks because they don't want to be stressed, and walking helps.

'Stressful' is an adjective that describes something causing stress. The correct passive/state adjective for people is 'stressed'. Use 'stressed' to describe feeling stressed. Also add a comma before 'and' to join clauses. Suggestion: Use 'stressed' (feeling) rather than 'stressful' (causing stress): 'they don't want to be stressed.'

× If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk in Icelandic mountains, because where I live is quite hot and it's very hard to take a long walk, it gets hot very often.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk in the Icelandic mountains, because where I live it is quite hot and it's very hard to take long walks; it gets hot very often.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'Icelandic mountains' to refer to that mountain area. Also improve cohesion: 'where I live it is quite hot' or 'where I live, it is quite hot.' 'take a long walk' repeated awkwardly—use plural 'long walks' for general statement. Replace comma splice with semicolon or split into sentences. Suggestions: add 'the' before mountain range names when referring to a range, use plural for habitual activities, and avoid comma splices.

× I went to a forest a few days ago and I took a very long walk, it was about 10,000 kilometers I think and it was a very nice and I felt very happy after and I feel less stressful.

✓ I went to a forest a few days ago and took a very long walk; it was about 10 kilometers, I think, and it was very nice. I felt very happy afterwards and felt less stressed.

Multiple issues: 10,000 kilometers is unrealistic—likely 10 kilometers. Remove redundant pronoun 'I' in 'and I took' (optional). Fix comma splices by using semicolons or separate sentences. Use 'afterwards' rather than 'after' to connect feelings, and 'less stressed' instead of 'less stressful' because 'stressed' describes a person's feeling. Also convert present 'I feel' to past 'I felt' to match past-tense narration. Suggestions: check numeric realism, avoid comma splices, use correct adjective ('stressed').