Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating words (e.g., "I'm" twice).

例: Not really — I don't walk much because I’m usually busy with work. However, I try to spend about 20 minutes each evening walking in the park, which helps me relax and reduce stress after a long day.

提案: Improve grammar and verb forms, and make details more specific and coherent. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague or repeated adjectives like "happy."

例: Yes, I used to walk a lot as a child because I was very energetic. For example, I would run around my neighborhood and play games with friends after school, which was always lively and fun.

提案: Fix grammar, word choice and article use; be specific and use linking words. Replace general phrases with clear reasons and singular/plural forms (e.g., "walkers").

例: People enjoy walking in parks because the trees and open space create cleaner air and a pleasant setting. Also, parks are generally safe for walkers, and the peaceful atmosphere helps people to unwind.

提案: This answer is good but refine sentence flow and grammar. Use one clear topic sentence and then give two specific details connected by linking words. Avoid comma splice near the end.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk through an old forest because I love being close to nature and breathing fresh air. I especially enjoy exploring winding trails and seeing ancient trees and wildflowers, which always makes me feel peaceful.

提案: Correct grammar and word order, and be concise. Combine sentences with a linking word and fix collocations (e.g., "go there", "feel relaxed and happy").

例: I recently went for a walk in the park near my house because it has many trees and a peaceful atmosphere, so it always helps me feel relaxed and happy.

× No, I don't walk a lot because I am I'm busy with my work, but I try to spend 20 minutes a day for walking in the park.

✓ No, I don't walk a lot because I'm busy with my work, but I try to spend 20 minutes a day walking in the park.

The sentence has a redundant pronoun/word sequence 'I am I'm' which is incorrect; it should be the contraction 'I'm' or 'I am' only. Also 'spend 20 minutes a day for walking' uses an incorrect prepositional verb pattern; use 'spend time' + gerund without 'for'. Suggestion: remove the extra 'I am', use 'I'm', and use 'spend 20 minutes a day walking'.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

This question is fine as is because it correctly uses the past simple question form 'Did you...when you were a child?'. No change needed.

× Yes, I used to go for a walk a lot when I was a child because I was an energetic person.

✓ Yes, I used to go for walks a lot when I was a child because I was an energetic child.

'Go for a walk a lot' is acceptable but more natural is the plural 'go for walks a lot'. 'Energetic person' is odd when referring to oneself as a child; use 'energetic child' to match context and maintain clarity.

× I usually worked around my neighborhood and play games with my friends after school, which was really fun and happy.

✓ I usually played around my neighborhood and played games with my friends after school, which was really fun and made me happy.

Tense inconsistency: 'worked' is likely incorrect for childhood activities; 'played' fits. Also subject-verb agreement and parallel structure require both verbs in past tense ('played...and played'). 'Which was really fun and happy' is awkward; better: 'which was really fun and made me happy.' Use parallel verbs and clearer adjective+result clause.

× I think people like to walk in the park because there are a lot of trees and open space which makes environment cleaner and pleasant.

✓ I think people like to walk in the park because there are a lot of trees and open space, which makes the environment cleaner and more pleasant.

Missing comma before the nonrestrictive clause and missing definite article 'the' before 'environment'. Also need comparative 'more pleasant' to pair with 'cleaner'. Include comma to separate clauses.

× Beside, parks are safe for Walker and peaceful atmosphere helps people feel relaxed.

✓ Besides, parks are safe for walkers and the peaceful atmosphere helps people feel relaxed.

'Beside' is incorrect; correct adverb is 'Besides'. 'Walker' should be plural 'walkers' to refer to people in general. Missing definite article 'the' before 'peaceful atmosphere'. Ensure plural and correct word form.

× If I had a chance, I would walk through the old forest because I love being close to nature and fresh air.

✓ If I had the chance, I would walk through an old forest because I love being close to nature and breathing fresh air.

Stylistic: 'a chance' is acceptable but 'the chance' is more idiomatic in this conditional. 'The old forest' implies a specific forest; 'an old forest' or 'the old forest nearby' depends on context—changed to 'an old forest'. Also 'fresh air' benefits from verb 'breathing' to make the clause more natural.

× I enjoy exploring winding trails, ancient trees, flowers, which makes me happy.

✓ I enjoy exploring winding trails, ancient trees, and flowers, which make me happy.

List lacks parallel conjunctions; add 'and' before last item. Relative clause 'which makes me happy' should agree with plural antecedent (trails, trees, and flowers), so use 'which make me happy.' Ensure subject-verb agreement in relative clause.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk lately?

Question is grammatically correct for past action. No correction needed.

× I went for a walk in the park near my house. I usually go to there because it has a lot of trees and the peaceful atmosphere helps me relax and happy.

✓ I went for a walk in the park near my house. I usually go there because it has a lot of trees and the peaceful atmosphere helps me relax and makes me happy.

Remove unnecessary preposition in 'go to there' — correct is 'go there'. Parallel structure: 'helps me relax and happy' is incorrect; use 'helps me relax and makes me happy' to supply a verb for 'happy'. Maintain consistent tense and clear verb forms.