Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ нужно сделать более естественным и связным: дать тему в первом предложении, затем одно-два поясняющих предложения с конкретикой. Избегайте общих фраз и повторов, используйте связки (for example, because, so) и более подходящие слова (energises, keeps fit).

例: Yes, I walk quite often, especially in parks. For example, I usually go for a brisk 30-minute walk in the morning because it energises me and helps me stay fit.

提案: Ответ неясен и содержит грамматические ошибки и неуместные слова. Нужно чётко сказать, что вы делали в детстве, дать причину и пример. Используйте правильные времена (past simple) и избегайте пауз и слов-паразитов.

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. I would spend whole afternoons exploring the neighbourhood with my friends because we loved playing games and chatting together.

提案: Ответ полезен по смыслу, но нужно точнее выражаться и использовать связки. Уточните идеи и приведите конкретные примеры (relaxation, fresh air, socialising). Следите за согласованием существительных и прилагательных (nature → the natural surroundings or nature).

例: I think people enjoy walking in parks because they can relax and enjoy nature. For instance, parks offer fresh air, space to exercise, and a place where families and dog owners can meet and socialise.

提案: Фраза нуждается в упрощении и грамматической корректировке. Сформулируйте чёткое условное предложение (second conditional), объясните почему и добавьте конкретную деталь (scenery, peace, challenge).

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in the mountains because I love the scenery and the fresh air. It would be peaceful and refreshing to hike along forest trails.

提案: Ответ почти хорош, но содержит ошибки в времени (we meet → we met) и слово «different» неясно. Уточните, что вы имеете в виду, и добавьте одну конкретную деталь о прогулке. Используйте связки (because, so, and).

例: Recently I went for a walk with my friends in our local park. The weather was warm, so we met several friendly people and enjoyed a long chat on a bench.

× I walk a lot. I love walking in parks. In my opinion, walking gives more energy and improves our bodies.

✓ I walk a lot. I love walking in parks. In my opinion, walking gives me more energy and improves my health.

The original sentence used 'gives more energy and improves our bodies'. The pronoun use is unclear and shifts from first person to a general plural; 'our bodies' is unnatural here. Change to 'gives me more energy' and 'improves my health' to match the speaker's perspective and natural collocation. Use consistent first-person singular present tense and natural noun 'health' instead of 'bodies'.

× Then I was a child, I walked a lot of time, I could walk all day because I loved communicate with Aza children and umm, I couldn't imagine my love is out work.

✓ When I was a child, I walked a lot; I could walk all day because I loved communicating with Aza children, and I couldn't imagine my life without it.

Multiple errors: 'Then I was a child' should be 'When I was a child' to indicate time. 'a lot of time' is incorrect; use 'a lot' or 'for a long time'. 'I loved communicate' requires the gerund 'communicating' (verb + -ing). 'my love is out work' is unclear; intended meaning is likely 'my life without it' so replace with that. Ensure past tense consistency (walked, could, loved, couldn't).

× In my opinion, people like to walk in the park because they can enjoy the natural, they can feed the dogs and different family brings together in parks.

✓ In my opinion, people like to walk in the park because they can enjoy nature, feed their dogs, and different families can get together in parks.

Errors: 'enjoy the natural' is wrong; use the noun 'nature' without 'the'. 'feed the dogs' should be 'feed their dogs' or just 'feed dogs' depending on meaning; 'their' is clearer. 'different family brings together in parks' is ungrammatical — use plural 'different families can get together' and include modal 'can' for possibility. Maintain parallel structure in the list of reasons and correct pluralization/verb agreement.

× If I had the chance I would walk in mountains because I love nature and I can feel with air it feel alive.

✓ If I had the chance, I would walk in the mountains because I love nature and I can feel the air; it feels alive.

'Walk in mountains' needs the definite article: 'in the mountains'. 'feel with air' is incorrect; correct is 'feel the air'. 'it feel alive' requires subject-verb agreement: 'it feels alive'. Also add comma after the conditional clause and separate ideas with a semicolon or period for clarity.

× Recently I walked with my friends in our local park. It was really stunning because the weather was warm and we meet different. Cool people.

✓ Recently I went for a walk with my friends in our local park. It was really nice because the weather was warm and we met different, cool people.

Use of 'walked' is acceptable but 'went for a walk' is more natural. The verb 'meet' should be past 'met' to match 'Recently' and past tense context. 'stunning' is strong; 'really nice' may be more natural for weather and people. Also 'different. Cool people' is fragmented; combine into 'different, cool people'. Ensure past tense consistency.