Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and relevant to the question. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and brief reason), avoid irrelevant phrases, and keep sentences concise (max 5). Use linking words to connect ideas and provide one or two specific details (how often, when).

例: No, I don't walk much. Instead, I play soccer with my friends several times a week, and I have been playing for 13 years, so football is an important part of my routine.

提案: This is a good, relevant answer. Make it slightly more natural by using past tense consistently and adding a linking phrase to explain why you preferred playing to walking. Remove fillers (uh) and keep it concise.

例: No, I didn't walk much as a child. Instead, I usually hung out with friends and we played soccer or baseball in the park nearly every weekend, which made me very happy.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with one or two concrete reasons. Use natural phrasing (e.g., better health, stronger immune system) and linking words (because, so). Avoid vague expressions like 'positive consequence'—be specific about benefits.

例: People like walking in parks because it improves their physical health and reduces stress. For example, walking regularly can strengthen the immune system and boost mood because of fresh air and green surroundings.

提案: Answer directly with conditional form and give specific reasons and correct nouns. Use linking words (because, for example) and accurate descriptions of the place. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in Tokyo because I want to see the mix of modern skyscrapers and traditional shrines. For example, I would stroll through neighborhoods like Asakusa to admire historic temples and then walk along modern streets to see interesting architecture.

提案: Be concise and consistent with tense. Start with a clear topic sentence stating you haven't walked recently, then give a relevant alternative activity and frequency. Correct small errors (honesty → honestly, at night) and avoid run-on sentences.

例: Honestly, I haven't gone for a walk recently because of school and homework. Instead, I often play soccer with my friends at night, which I find to be good exercise.

× No, I'm not just walking, but I play soccer with my friends sometimes.

✓ No, I don't just walk; I also play soccer with my friends sometimes.

The original mixes present continuous ('I'm not just walking') with a habitual action ('I play soccer sometimes') in an unnatural way. Use simple present for habitual actions and negative habitual statements: 'I don't just walk' and connect ideas with 'also' or a semicolon. Suggest practicing simple present for routines and contrast connectors like 'also' or 'but'.

× I have been playing soccer for 13 years, so soccer is a part of my life.

✓ I have been playing soccer for 13 years, so soccer is part of my life.

The present perfect continuous is correct for an action continuing up to now. Remove the extra article 'a' before 'part of my life' for natural phrasing. Use 'part of my life' rather than 'a part of my life' in this context to sound more natural.

× So I grew with them.

✓ So I grew up with them.

The intended meaning is to say one 'grew up with' friends. 'Grow with' is incorrect for childhood context. Use the phrasal verb 'grow up with' to indicate being raised together.

× But and also if I have say, I'm good at learning.

✓ Also, if I have to say, I'm good at learning.

The phrase 'But and also' is redundant and ungrammatical; 'if I have say' is incorrect. Use 'if I have to say' to express opinion. Remove redundant connectors and use clear conditional phrase.

× No, I didn't, but when I was a child I usually hang out with my friends and we played uh, sports like soccer and baseball in the park nearly every weekend, which made me feel very happy.

✓ No, I didn't, but when I was a child I usually hung out with my friends and we played sports like soccer and baseball in the park nearly every weekend, which made me very happy.

When describing habitual actions in the past, use past simple: 'hung out' instead of 'hang out'. Also 'which made me feel very happy' is wordy; 'which made me very happy' is more natural. Maintain consistent past tense for past habits.

× From my perspective, those who are going for a walk have a good health and they are strongly immune, so regularly exercise bring about positive consequence.

✓ From my perspective, people who go for a walk are healthy and have strong immunity, so regular exercise brings positive consequences.

'Those who are going for a walk' is wordy; use 'people who go for a walk'. 'Have a good health' is ungrammatical — use 'are healthy' or 'have good health'. 'They are strongly immune' should be 'have strong immunity'. Subject-verb agreement: 'regular exercise brings' (singular subject). Use plural 'consequences'. Revise word order and collocations.

× If I had choose off the top of my head, I want to go for a walk in Tokyo because they are beautiful building like column school and separate like that so I want to watch them.

✓ If I had to choose off the top of my head, I would go for a walk in Tokyo because there are beautiful buildings, like temples and old schools, that I want to see.

Conditional sentence needs correct forms: 'If I had to choose' and the result should be conditional 'I would go'. 'They are beautiful building' has number and agreement errors: use 'there are beautiful buildings'. 'Like column school and separate like that' is unclear; replace with plausible examples and 'see' rather than 'watch'. Use 'would' for hypothetical situations.

× Honesty I didn't go for a walk because of school, work and homework but I often go play soccer with my friends in night so I think it's a nice exercise for me.

✓ Honestly, I haven't gone for a walk recently because of school, work, and homework, but I often play soccer with my friends at night, so I think it's good exercise for me.

Use 'Honestly' not 'Honesty'. For recent periods, present perfect 'I haven't gone for a walk recently' is more natural than simple past. 'I often go play soccer' should be 'I often play soccer'. Use 'at night' for time phrase. 'It's a nice exercise' -> 'it's good exercise' (uncountable). Maintain consistent tense and correct adverb placement.