Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition and improve grammar and fluency. Start with a concise topic sentence, avoid repeated words, and use a linking phrase to add details. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “morning walk” → “morning walks,” remove duplicated words).

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I especially enjoy morning walks because I like the fresh air and the sound of birds; walking also helps me stay active. I usually walk for about 30 minutes every morning.

提案: Improve tense consistency and sentence structure. Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence, avoid repeated words, and use linking words to connect time and reason. Give one specific detail about where you walked or who you were with.

例: Yes, when I was a child I often went for morning walks because I loved being outdoors. I usually walked for about 30–40 minutes and did light exercises in the park, which made me feel energetic and refreshed.

提案: Organize the answer: give one main point, then support it with specific reasons and examples. Fix subject-verb agreement and remove repetitions. Use linking words like “because” and “for example.”

例: People like walking in parks mainly because they provide fresh air and a peaceful atmosphere. For example, parks are quieter than busy streets, so many people go there to exercise, relax, or walk their dogs.

提案: Use consistent tense and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear conditional sentence, give specific sensory details, and limit to two or three supporting points linked logically.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the beach because of its peaceful atmosphere. I would enjoy watching the waves and the sunset, which helps me relax and clear my mind.

提案: Use correct past tense and clearer sequencing. Begin with the simple past topic sentence, then add two concise supporting details. Remove filler words and repeated words, and correct verb forms.

例: Recently I went for a walk in a nearby park, which is my usual choice. I sat on a bench and watched the children playing, and I also took several photos during my morning walk.

× Yes, I walk a lot. I especially enjoy morning walk because I like the fresh air and the bird sounds and walking helps me keep active. I usually walk walk 30 minutes every morning.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot. I especially enjoy morning walks because I like the fresh air and the sound of birds, and walking helps me stay active. I usually walk for 30 minutes every morning.

Errors: missing plural form 'walks' for a habitual activity; phrase 'bird sounds' is better as 'sound of birds' for natural phrasing; 'keep active' should be 'stay active' for idiomatic use; missing preposition 'for' before a duration. Suggestion: use plural for repeated events (morning walks), use natural collocations (sound of birds, stay active), and include 'for' when stating duration.

× When I was child I often went for morning walk because I loved being outside.

✓ When I was a child I often went for morning walks because I loved being outside.

Errors: missing article 'a' before 'child' and plural needed for habitual activity 'morning walks'. Suggestion: include indefinite article 'a' with singular nouns like 'child' and use plural for repeated activities.

× I usually walk walked for about 30-40 minutes and did some light exercise to keep my body active and it's feeling good and fresh.

✓ I usually walked for about 30–40 minutes and did some light exercise to keep my body active; it felt good and refreshing.

Errors: redundant mixed tenses 'walk walked'—choose past 'walked' to match 'When I was a child'; 'it's feeling good and fresh' mixes present with past and is unidiomatic. Suggestion: maintain past tense for past habits and use natural adjectives ('felt good', 'refreshing').

× I think the main reason is that parks offer fresh air and everyone feel calm and everyone likes quiet environment and I I personally prefer to go for walk in park and sometime I do light exercise and some people go for to walk walk the dogs.

✓ I think the main reason is that parks offer fresh air and everyone feels calm; people like a quiet environment. I personally prefer to go for a walk in the park and sometimes do light exercise, and some people go for walks to walk their dogs.

Errors: subject-verb agreement 'everyone feel' should be 'everyone feels'; missing articles 'a quiet environment', 'a walk', 'the park'; repetition 'I I', 'walk walk'; incorrect infinitive 'go for to walk'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement, include necessary articles, remove duplicate words, and use correct infinitive or noun forms ('go for a walk', 'walk their dogs').

× I would like to take a long walk along the beach because it has peaceful, smooth full atmosphere.

✓ I would like to take a long walk along the beach because it has a peaceful, calm atmosphere.

Errors: incorrect adjective collocation 'smooth full atmosphere' and missing article 'a'. Suggestion: use appropriate adjectives that collocate with 'atmosphere' (peaceful, calm) and include the article 'a'.

× I enjoyed watching the waves and the sunset and walking there helps me relax and clear my my mind and I feel energetic and I feel calm.

✓ I enjoy watching the waves and the sunset; walking there helps me relax and clear my mind, and I feel energetic and calm.

Errors: tense inconsistency—started with 'I enjoyed' (past) but general preference should be present 'I enjoy'; duplicated 'my my'. Suggestion: keep present tense for general statements, remove duplicates, and combine similar feelings concisely.

× I went for a walk nearby park and I usually prefer to go there and sometime I sat down and watch the children played and uh I love morning morning walk and sometime I take too much picture.

✓ I went for a walk in a nearby park. I usually prefer to go there; sometimes I sat down and watched the children playing. I love morning walks and sometimes I take too many pictures.

Errors: missing preposition/article 'in a nearby park'; tense inconsistency 'I went' (past) vs 'I usually prefer' (present) — keep context consistent; 'watch the children played' should be past progressive or past simple 'watched the children playing/watched the children play'; duplicated 'morning morning'; 'too much picture' should be 'too many pictures' (countable noun, plural) and 'sometimes' spelling. Suggestion: use correct prepositions/articles, maintain consistent tense, use correct verb forms, remove duplicates, and use plural for countable nouns with quantifiers ('many').