Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is short and relevant, but you can improve by giving a brief reason or an example and using a complete topic sentence. Avoid reporting hearsay without personal perspective. Keep it natural and within 1-2 additional sentences.

例: Yes, I walk quite a lot. I find walking helps me stay fit and clears my mind, so I usually walk for 30 minutes after dinner most days.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains grammar errors and repetitions. Start with a clear topic sentence about your childhood habit, then give a specific detail or short example. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, I walked outside often as a child. My mother encouraged me to walk for my health, so I used to play and stroll around the neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: You hesitated and gave a vague answer. Offer a confident opinion and support it with specific reasons. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct grammar (e.g., 'walking' not 'walk').

例: People like walking in parks because the environment is peaceful and there is greenery, which helps them relax and breathe fresh air. For example, many parks have benches and paths that make walking more enjoyable than streets.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and full of hesitations. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid fillers like 'uh' and vague phrases like 'and so on'.

例: I would like to take a long walk in a large city park. It has many trees and well‑maintained paths, and the natural surroundings would help me relax and enjoy the fresh air.

提案: The answer is understandable but awkwardly phrased. Use a clear past‑tense statement followed by a specific detail about when or what you did. Replace 'nature' with more precise words like 'green spaces' or 'trees'.

例: Recently I went for a walk in the park near my home last weekend. It has lots of trees and green spaces, which helped me relax and unwind.

× Yes I do, I heard walking is very good for my health.

✓ Yes, I do. I heard walking is very good for my health.

The original sentence lacks a comma after 'Yes' and a period to separate clauses; tidying punctuation clarifies that the student affirms the question and then reports what they heard. The verb tense 'heard' is acceptable for reporting past information about a general truth. Suggestion: add appropriate punctuation: 'Yes, I do. I heard...'. Note: This change addresses clarity rather than altering verb tense.

× Yes I did, I heard walking is good for my working is good for my health from my mom and I always try to walk when I have enough time for spending it.

✓ Yes, I did. I heard from my mom that walking is good for my health, and I always try to walk when I have enough time to spend.

Multiple issues: run-on sentence and incorrect word choice. Use punctuation to separate ideas. 'I heard from my mom that...' correctly reports the source. 'for my working is good for my health' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'walking is good for my health.' 'have enough time for spending it' is awkward; use 'have enough time to spend.' Suggestions: break into two clauses with proper conjunction and use correct infinitive form 'to spend.'

× I'm not sure the exact reason, but I guess walk in parks could make us relax compared to walking in outside.

✓ I'm not sure of the exact reason, but I guess walking in parks can help us relax compared to walking outside.

Errors: missing preposition 'of' after 'sure', verb form 'walk' should be the gerund 'walking' after 'guess', modal 'could' is acceptable but 'can' is more natural for general ability, and 'in outside' is incorrect preposition—use 'outside' without 'in'. Suggestion: use 'sure of', gerund after 'guess', and correct preposition: 'walking outside.'

× I prefer walking in the park because park have a lot of facility including, uh, tree, uh, uh, great nature and so on for, for me, these.

✓ I prefer walking in the park because parks have a lot of facilities, including trees and great natural surroundings.

Several noun number and article errors: 'park have' should be 'parks have' (subject-verb agreement and plural form) or 'the park has' if singular. 'a lot of facility' should be 'a lot of facilities' or 'many facilities.' 'tree' should be plural 'trees.' 'great nature' is awkward; 'great natural surroundings' is natural. Suggestion: choose singular with 'the park has' or plural 'parks have' and pluralize countable nouns ('facilities', 'trees').

× Especially I went to the parks near my home. There are a lot of nature for making me relax.

✓ Lately I went to the parks near my home. There is a lot of nature that helps me relax.

Use of 'Especially' is inappropriate; 'Lately' or 'Recently' fits the question about recent activity. 'There are a lot of nature' is incorrect because 'nature' is an uncountable noun and should use singular 'there is a lot of nature' or better 'there is a lot of natural scenery' or 'many natural areas.' 'for making me relax' is awkward; use 'that helps me relax.' Suggestion: replace adverb and correct noun number and relative clause.