Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장에서 문법 오류와 어순을 고치고 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요. 예: 'use a trip public transportation'는 어색하므로 'use public transportation' 또는 'take public transport'로 바꾸세요. 또한 간결한 주제문 뒤에 이유를 덧붙이고 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 문장을 더 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: Not really. I usually take public transportation, such as the subway or bus, because it’s convenient and fast.

提案: 과거 시제와 관사 사용을 정확히 하세요. 'a memorable experience'처럼 관사를 넣고, 연결어를 사용해 이유나 감정을 더 명확히 설명하세요. 문장을 2~3문장으로 유지해 자연스럽게 들리도록 하세요.

例: Yes, I did. I often went to the park and walked with my older sister, which was a memorable experience because we used to explore different trails and talk a lot.

提案: 반복되는 'they can'을 줄이고 연결사를 활용해 문장을 더 간결하게 하세요. 구체적인 예시나 결과를 덧붙이면 더 설득력 있습니다. 단어 선택에 있어 'environment' 대신 'scenery'나 'fresh air' 같은 더 적합한 단어를 고려하세요.

例: I think people enjoy parks because of the fresh air and pleasant scenery; they can also see various birds and spend quality time with family, which helps them relax.

提案: 가정법과 조건문 표현을 더 자연스럽게 사용하세요. 'if I had the chance'에 맞춰 가정법을 사용하고, 문장 연결을 명확히 하세요. 'Hong Kong River' 대신 정확한 지명(예: Victoria Harbour promenade) 확인도 필요합니다. 문장은 2문장 이내로 유지하세요.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the waterfront in Hong Kong because the views are beautiful; I’d like to go there with friends.

提案: 현재완료나 과거 시제의 일관성을 지키고 문법을 고치세요. 'Recently I study English for a long time'는 시제 오류입니다. 'Recently I have been studying English a lot, so I haven't had time to go for walks'처럼 자연스럽게 표현하세요.

例: I haven’t gone for a walk recently because I’ve been studying English a lot and haven’t had the time.

× No, I usually use a trip public transportation like subway or bus.

✓ No, I usually use public transportation, like the subway or the bus.

'a trip public transportation' is incorrect word order and 'public transportation' is an uncountable noun so it shouldn't be preceded by 'a'. Also include articles with specific transport modes ('the subway', 'the bus'). Improve by placing 'public transportation' first and using commas to introduce examples.

× It is convenient and fast.

✓ It is convenient and fast.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Keep using 'convenient' and 'fast' to describe transportation.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

This question is grammatically acceptable in past tense using 'Did'. No change required. Optionally 'go for a walk' is more natural than 'have a walk'.

× Yes, I usually went to the park and walked for a while with my older sister.

✓ Yes, I usually went to the park and walked for a while with my older sister.

This sentence correctly uses past tense 'went' and 'walked' to describe habitual past actions. No grammatical change necessary. For improved naturalness, 'I often went to the park' can replace 'usually'.

× It was very interesting and memorable experience for me.

✓ It was a very interesting and memorable experience for me.

The noun 'experience' is countable and needs the article 'a' before it. Add 'a' to make the noun phrase grammatically correct.

× In my opinion, people can enjoy the environment and they can see a wide variety of birds and they can spend quality time with their families.

✓ In my opinion, people can enjoy the environment, see a wide variety of birds, and spend quality time with their families.

The sentence is wordy with repeated 'they can'. Combine parallel verbs without repeating the auxiliary for conciseness and use commas for list separation. This improves flow and readability.

× So people like walking in the park.

✓ So people like walking in parks.

Using 'the park' implies a specific park; general preference is better expressed with the plural 'parks' or 'walking in a park'. Change to 'parks' to indicate general preference.

× I want to walk along Hong Kong River because it is very beautiful and stunning for me.

✓ I want to walk along the Hong Kong River because it is very beautiful and stunning to me.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'Hong Kong River'. Also, use 'stunning to me' rather than 'stunning for me' to express personal impression. Keep 'walk along' which is correct.

× I want to go there if I have enough time so with my friends.

✓ I want to go there if I have enough time, with my friends.

'so with my friends' is ungrammatical. Use a comma and place 'with my friends' after the main clause to indicate accompaniment. Alternatively: 'I want to go there with my friends if I have enough time.'

× Recently I study English for a long time, so I don't have time to take a walk.

✓ Recently I have been studying English for a long time, so I don't have time to take a walk.

Use present perfect continuous 'have been studying' to describe an action that started in the past and continues to the present. 'Recently I study' is incorrect for ongoing recent activity. This change matches the context and explains limited free time.