Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds, and use correct verb forms. Add one short reason with a linking word. Focus: natural phrasing and coherence.

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I live in Portugal, which is a compact European country, so many places are within walking distance. For example, I usually walk to shops and cafés because it’s convenient and healthy.

提案: Improve fluency by removing pauses and using past-tense consistency. Start with a clear topic sentence, then use a linking word and a specific example to enrich your answer.

例: Yes, I often went for walks as a child. Because I grew up in a calm neighborhood, my parents would take me to the park and shops regularly, which made walking a normal part of my routine.

提案: Clarify ideas and use precise vocabulary. Give a clear reason, use linking words (for example, because, therefore), and include a specific effect or example of how parks help people.

例: People like walking in parks because city life is often busy and stressful. Therefore, parks provide a peaceful natural setting where people can relax and clear their minds, which improves their mood and reduces stress.

提案: Use correct place names and grammar, and avoid fillers. Begin with a direct answer, then give a reason and a specific example of what you would do there to make the answer more vivid.

例: I would like to take a long walk in the Italian Alps. I’ve seen many pictures and videos online, and I would enjoy hiking scenic trails to see the mountain views and take photos of the landscape.

提案: Keep sentences concise and use correct tense. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then provide a specific detail about the walk to make it more personal and precise.

例: My most recent walk was along the beach with my mother. We often walk there together; last time we watched the sunset and chatted, which is our regular bonding time.

× Yes, I would say that I woke awards uh, I live in Portugal.

✓ Yes, I would say that I work abroad; I live in Portugal.

The speaker likely meant 'work abroad' not 'woke awards.' This is a sentence structure and word choice issue causing confusion. Use the correct verb 'work' and correct adverb 'abroad.' Also separate into two clauses connected by a semicolon or 'and' to improve clarity.

× There is a European uh country uh, so we have the custom of walk everywhere umm because everything it's close by.

✓ It is a European country, so we have the custom of walking everywhere because everything is close by.

Use 'It is a European country' instead of 'There is' for a specific subject (article use). 'Custom of walk' requires the gerund 'walking' (verb+ -ing). 'Everything it's close by' is incorrect; use 'everything is close by.' Fixes address article use, verb form, and auxiliary contraction.

× I also walk because of umm.

✓ I also walk for exercise and because I enjoy it.

The original sentence is incomplete and vague. Provide a gerund phrase or clause to explain reason. Use 'because' followed by a clause. This corrects sentence structure and supplies the missing object of 'because.'

× Yes, uh, I walked outside very often in my childhood.

✓ Yes, I walked outside very often in my childhood.

Remove filler 'uh' for clarity; the past tense 'walked' is appropriate for a childhood habit. This is primarily a fluency edit rather than a tense correction.

× I live in a very calm neighborhood.

✓ I lived in a very calm neighborhood.

The question asks about childhood, so use past tense 'lived' to match the time frame. This fixes tense inconsistency.

× Uh, so, uh, my parents would walk me everywhere, umm, to shopping, uh, to go to the park and so on.

✓ My parents would walk me everywhere, for shopping, to the park, and so on.

Remove filler words and correct the prepositional phrase: use 'for shopping' not 'to shopping.' The pronoun use is okay, but preposition choice needed correction and clarity improvements.

× I believe that people with to walk in parks because nowadays we are more in the cities because our job, our lifestyle and so on.

✓ I believe that people like to walk in parks because today we live more in cities due to our jobs, lifestyles, and so on.

'People with to walk' is incorrect — use 'people like to walk.' 'We are more in the cities' should be 'we live more in cities.' 'Because our job, our lifestyle' should be 'due to our jobs, lifestyles.' Fixes prepositions and plural forms.

× So the park gives a sense of natural nature and it comes our mind.

✓ So the park gives a sense of nature and comes to our minds.

'Natural nature' is redundant; use 'nature.' 'It comes our mind' is incorrect word order and missing preposition: use 'comes to our minds.' This corrects adjective redundancy and adverbial phrase structure.

× I would love to go to the mountains umm like the Italian hops.

✓ I would love to go to the mountains, like the Italian Alps.

'Hops' is a mispronunciation of 'Alps.' Also add a comma for clarity. This is a lexical correction and spelling issue rather than verb form.

× I my Tiktok it's full of image from there so I would love to go to there to do a walk.

✓ My TikTok is full of images from there, so I would love to go there to take a walk.

Correct pronoun and possessive order: 'My TikTok' not 'I my TikTok.' Use 'is' for the verb, plural 'images,' and 'go there' (not 'go to there'). Use 'take a walk' rather than 'do a walk.' These fixes address pronoun order, verb agreement, pluralization, and idiomatic expression.

× I also lived very close to the beach, so my last walk was there with my mother.

✓ I also live very close to the beach, so my last walk was there with my mother.

If referring to current residence, use present tense 'live' and past tense for 'my last walk was' is correct. Match tense to intended meaning: if the speaker still lives there, use present tense; if they meant past, keep 'lived.' This suggestion assumes current residence.

× It's a very common thing that we do together, so I think it's like our time.

✓ It's a very common thing we do together, so I think of it as our time.

'It's like our time' is informal and slightly ungrammatical here; use 'I think of it as our time.' Remove unnecessary 'that' for natural phrasing. This corrects adjective/adverbial phrase clarity and idiomatic expression.