Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 문법을 다듬고 자연스러운 표현으로 바꾸세요. 예를 들어 'in daily'는 잘못된 표현이고 이유를 더 명확히 설명하세요. 또한 문장이 한두 개로 간결하게 유지되도록 하세요.

例: Yes, I usually walk about 10,000 steps a day because I walk to and from work. This helps me stay fit and saves on transport costs.

提案: 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하고 시제와 문법 오류를 고치세요. 'When I was a child.' 같은 단절된 문장은 피하고, 'never done that' 대신 올바른 과거/현재 표현을 사용하세요. 부가 설명은 연결어로 이어주세요.

例: Yes, I used to walk outside a lot when I was a child because I enjoyed exploring the neighborhood. However, I hurt my knees recently, so I don't walk as much anymore.

提案: 단수·복수 일치와 어순을 고치고, 이유들을 연결어로 논리적으로 이어서 말하세요. 'is many trees' 같은 오류를 수정하고 문장을 완성하세요.

例: In my opinion, people like walking in parks because there are many trees and open spaces that feel peaceful. Also, parks are popular places to walk dogs or to stroll with friends, which makes the experience more enjoyable.

提案: 가정문과 조건문을 정확하게 사용하고 이유를 완전한 문장으로 설명하세요. 문장이 조각나지 않도록 주어와 동사를 포함해 완결된 문장으로 말하세요.

例: If I had the chance to take a long walk anywhere, I would walk along the Han River because the pathways are wide and the views of the city and water are very relaxing.

提案: 문장을 자연스럽고 정확한 어순으로 표현하세요. 불필요한 마침표나 단절된 구문을 없애고 장소와 이유나 활동을 덧붙여 구체화하세요.

例: I went for a walk at Lake Park, which is right in front of my home. I walked around the lake for about 30 minutes to get some fresh air.

× Yes, I usually walk 10,000 steps in daily because I commute to walk.

✓ Yes, I usually walk 10,000 steps daily because I commute on foot.

The phrase 'in daily' is incorrect; use the adverb 'daily'. 'Commute to walk' is awkward; use 'commute on foot' to indicate walking as the mode of commuting. Use present simple for habitual action: 'I usually walk'. Suggestion: Use 'daily' as an adverb and 'commute on foot' to describe traveling by walking.

× Yes, I used to walk outside. When I was a child. But now I hurt my knees, so I never done that.

✓ Yes, I used to walk outside when I was a child, but now I hurt my knees, so I never do that.

'When I was a child.' is a sentence fragment; combine it with the previous sentence. 'Never done that' uses a past participle without auxiliary; use present simple 'I never do that' to show current habit prevented by knee pain. Also keep 'used to' for past habit and 'but now' for contrast with present. Suggestion: Combine fragments and use correct verb forms: 'I never do that' for present habit, or 'I haven't done that recently' for present perfect if intended.

× In my opinion, in parks there is many trees and dogs. And just walking with a friend is.

✓ In my opinion, there are many trees and dogs in parks, and simply walking with a friend is enjoyable.

'There is many trees' has plural noun but singular 'is' — this is a subject-verb agreement issue combined with word order; use 'there are'. The sentence 'And just walking with a friend is.' is incomplete; finish with an adjective like 'enjoyable'. Also place 'in parks' after the subject for natural order. Suggestion: Use 'there are' for plural subjects and avoid sentence fragments by providing a predicate.

× If I have a chance to walk everywhere. I will go to Han River because there is. Good.

✓ If I had the chance to walk anywhere, I would go to the Han River because it would be pleasant.

The conditional 'If I have a chance' should use the second conditional 'If I had a chance' when imagining an unlikely or hypothetical situation; pair it with 'would'. 'Walk everywhere' is unnatural here; use 'walk anywhere'. 'There is. Good.' are fragments and unclear; clarify with 'it would be pleasant' or 'it's nice'. Suggestion: Use consistent conditional structure (If + past, would + base) and avoid fragments.

× I went to. Lake Park for a walk in front of my home.

✓ I went to Lake Park, a park in front of my home, for a walk.

'I went to. Lake Park' contains an unnecessary period causing a fragment. The phrase 'in front of my home' should clearly modify Lake Park, so rephrase to 'Lake Park, a park in front of my home,' or 'Lake Park in front of my home'. Maintain proper sentence flow. Suggestion: Remove incorrect punctuation and place modifiers next to the nouns they describe.