Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and grammatically correct: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and limit length. Use correct verb forms and articles, and add one specific supporting detail with a linking word.

例: Yes, I do walk a lot. I began walking regularly when I was 15 because my father encouraged me, and we used to explore our neighborhood every evening. As a result, it has become a healthy habit that I still enjoy.

提案: Answer directly and clearly, correct grammar (use past tense consistently), remove repetition, and use linking words to show contrast or change over time. Give one specific example of an activity you did.

例: Yes, I did. My dad often took me for walks when I was a child, so I got used to walking with him. However, now I prefer walking alone for exercise and reflection.

提案: Correct vocabulary and word choice, avoid errors (Paris vs parks), be concise and specific. Use linking words to list reasons and give clear, relevant details (e.g., scenery, fresh air, safety).

例: People like to walk in parks because they offer pleasant scenery and fresh air, and they are usually safer and less crowded than busy streets. For example, many parks have shaded paths and benches for resting.

提案: Be clear about the place and avoid vague or incorrect words (e.g., 'enraging'). Use a topic sentence, explain why you chose the place with specific reasons, and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: If I had the chance, I would walk from my house to Namasha, which is quite far but popular among local Catholics who walk there to visit the shrine of Mary. I would like to do this pilgrimage walk for the scenery and the cultural experience.

提案: Use correct tense (simple past for a recent action), be concise, and give clear specific details (where, when, duration). Avoid confusing time expressions and unrealistic durations. Use linking words to sequence events.

例: Lately, I went for walks around my neighborhood almost every morning. Usually I walk for about 30 minutes along the main street and then do a few stretches before returning home.

× Yes, I really do enjoy to walk.

✓ Yes, I really do enjoy walking.

After the verb 'enjoy' you must use the -ing form of the verb, not the infinitive. Use 'enjoy walking' rather than 'enjoy to walk'.

× I started walking since I was 15 and my father pushed me to start walking with him.

✓ I started walking when I was 15, and my father pushed me to start walking with him.

The verb 'started' refers to a specific past time, so use 'when' with the simple past. 'Since' requires a point continuing to the present with present perfect (e.g., 'I have walked since I was 15'). Here the simple past 'started' should pair with 'when'.

× So we walked too much around our community and now it's an habit.

✓ So we walked a lot around our community and now it's a habit.

Use 'a lot' rather than 'too much' with countable/plural activities like 'walked' in this context. 'An habit' is incorrect because 'habit' begins with a consonant sound; use 'a habit.' Also 'too much' implies excessive amount; 'a lot' is neutral.

× Yes, I did because my dad encouraged me to join to him.

✓ Yes, I did because my dad encouraged me to join him.

The verb 'join' does not take the preposition 'to' when followed by a person. Say 'join him' not 'join to him.'

× So I worked too much with him when I was child and now I feel more comfortable to do it by myself.

✓ So I walked a lot with him when I was a child, and now I feel more comfortable doing it by myself.

Use 'a child' with the article. 'Worked too much' is wrong contextually; use 'walked a lot' to match earlier meaning. Also after 'feel more comfortable' use the gerund 'doing' rather than 'to do.'

× So yeah, I.

✓ So yeah, I do.

This fragment lacks a main verb and is incomplete. Add the auxiliary 'do' to complete the response: 'So yeah, I do.'

× I think that people like to walk in Paris because parks are clear spaces that have a good view and the space is more comfortable and sometimes more secure to have a walk and there has a lot of patience and length.

✓ I think that people like to walk in parks because they are open spaces with good views; the area is comfortable and sometimes safer for walking, and there is plenty of space and paths for long walks.

Original has wrong proper noun 'Paris' instead of 'parks,' incorrect collocations ('clear spaces', 'there has a lot of patience and length'). Replace with natural phrases: 'open spaces,' 'good views,' 'safer,' and 'plenty of space and paths.' Use 'there is' for singular uncountable concepts.

× If I had the chance I would like to walk from my house up to namasha which is enraging that it's kind of far but the Catholic persons usually go to a walk from their houses up to there so they can visit the Maria 's infrastructure?

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to walk from my house to Namasha, which is a bit far, but Catholics usually walk from their homes to visit the Marian shrine there.

Multiple issues: capitalize 'Namasha' as a proper noun; 'up to' is awkward—use 'to'; 'enraging' is wrong word choice, use 'a bit far' or 'quite far'; 'the Catholic persons' is unnatural—use 'Catholics'; 'go to a walk' should be 'walk'; 'Maria 's infrastructure' is unclear—likely 'Marian shrine' or 'church facilities.' Also remove the question mark; it's a statement.

× Lately, I used to go to a walk in the streets, on my venue, on my neighborhood, and I have a little bit of exercise before I woke, and then I woke for almost 330 minutes and then I go back to.

✓ Lately, I have been going for walks in the streets near my neighborhood; I do a little exercise before I wake up, and then I walk for about 30 minutes before I go back home.

'Used to' implies a past habitual action no longer true; 'lately' requires present perfect continuous ('have been going') or simple present. 'Go to a walk' should be 'go for walks.' 'On my venue' is incorrect—use 'near my neighborhood' or 'in my neighborhood.' 'Before I woke' should be 'before I wake up' or 'before I went out' depending on meaning. 'I woke for almost 330 minutes' is nonsensical; likely intended 'walk for about 30 minutes.' Adjust tense and wording for clarity.