Reading— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammatical mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “wanted me to read” twice) and fix tense/word order errors.

例: Yes, I enjoy reading very much. For example, my mother introduced me to children's books when I was five, which sparked my love of stories and helped me improve my English. As a result, reading has been an important part of my life ever since.

提案: Organize the response: give a clear preference sentence, then two concise reasons using linking words. Correct grammar and awkward phrases (e.g., “Very good however” and extra “my”). Be specific about advantages/disadvantages.

例: I prefer reading on paper rather than on a screen. Firstly, my eyesight makes long screen reading uncomfortable, and secondly, I feel a stronger emotional connection to physical books. However, I admit screens are more convenient and cost-effective for some materials.

提案: Provide a clearer structure: state when careful reading is necessary, then contrast with when skimming is fine, using linking words. Reduce fillers (“you know”, “like”) and avoid repetition. Give a specific example to illustrate.

例: You should read carefully at the beginning of a book because authors often introduce key themes and foreshadow events. In contrast, you can skim descriptive passages that mainly set the scene, such as long descriptions of a town, because they rarely contain important plot information.

提案: Clearly state your personal preference first, then explain reasons with linking words and specific details. Correct vocabulary (“scram” → “scram” is informal; better “scan quickly” or “skim”) and avoid redundancy (“detailed and precise” similar).

例: I prefer detailed reading because it helps me understand ideas thoroughly and produce high-quality work. For instance, when I prepare for an assignment, I read sources carefully to take accurate notes; only when I am short of time do I skim articles to find main points.

× I my parents actually always wanted me to read and wanted me to get into reading, but they probably wanted me to become more fluent in English and so it was pretty much built into me.

✓ My parents actually always wanted me to read and wanted me to get into reading, but they probably wanted me to become more fluent in English, so it was pretty much built into me.

The original sentence includes an extra pronoun 'I' at the start, which is ungrammatical and disrupts sentence structure. Removing the stray 'I' restores the subject 'My parents' and makes the sentence coherent. Also adding a comma before 'so' improves clarity. Suggestion: Begin with the correct subject and ensure no stray pronouns precede it.

× Ever since I was a child my mom would bring these books to me, these childhood books, and I literally fell in love since I was 5.

✓ Ever since I was a child my mom would bring these childhood books to me, and I literally fell in love when I was five.

Using 'since' with a specific past age is incorrect in the second clause; 'when' is appropriate to indicate the age at which something happened. Also 'since' at the start paired with 'would' is acceptable for habitual past, but the later 'since I was 5' should be 'when I was five'. Suggestion: Use 'when' for specifying ages in the past and spell out small numbers in formal speech.

× I can't really read on a screen because I my eyesight is not very good.

✓ I can't really read on a screen because my eyesight is not very good.

There is an extraneous pronoun 'I' before 'my eyesight', which creates an ungrammatical phrase. Removing the extra 'I' yields the correct possessive pronoun 'my eyesight'. Suggestion: Read sentences aloud to spot stray words that interrupt the intended structure.

× Very good however if it's more cost efficient.

✓ However, reading on a screen can be very good if it's more cost-efficient.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. Rewriting it with a clear subject 'reading on a screen' and verb 'can be' fixes the fragment and clarifies meaning. Adding a hyphen in 'cost-efficient' is standard compound adjective practice. Suggestion: Ensure each sentence has a subject and verb; combine fragments with nearby sentences if they refer to the same idea.

× As I said, one of the reasons as my eyesight and then I do feel this weird connection with a physical book.

✓ As I said, one of the reasons is my eyesight, and I also feel this weird connection with physical books.

The phrase 'one of the reasons as my eyesight' is incorrect; 'is' should follow 'one of the reasons'. 'Then' is misused here; 'also' fits the intended addition. 'A physical book' is acceptable but plural 'physical books' matches general preference statements. Suggestion: Use 'is' after 'one of the reasons' and choose conjunctions like 'also' to add points.

× I feel like the start of the book really highlights and really foreshadows a lot of stuff.

✓ I feel like the start of a book really highlights and foreshadows a lot of stuff.

Grammatically the original is acceptable, but 'the start of the book' is specific while the context is general; 'a book' suits general statements. No -ing error present, but improved noun choice clarifies meaning. Suggestion: Use indefinite articles when speaking generally.

× So I think that's when you really need to focus on those things.

✓ So I think that's when you really need to focus on those things.

This sentence is correct as written; no change needed. Included here to show it matches pronoun usage rules. Suggestion: No action needed.

× However, there are points when some authors really just, you know, info dump you for like, for example, like the setting of a, a place.

✓ However, there are points when some authors really just, you know, info-dump you, for example about the setting of a place.

The original has conversational filler and awkward repetition 'for like, for example, like' and splits 'info dump' incorrectly. Hyphenating 'info-dump' when used as a verb/noun is acceptable. Replacing the redundant fillers and restructuring with 'for example about' clarifies the object 'the setting of a place'. Suggestion: Remove redundant filler words and restructure phrases to link 'example' to the noun that follows.

× So that's not really where you should, you know, focus a lot and it doesn't require a lot of focus.

✓ So that's not really where you should focus a lot, and it doesn't require much attention.

Repetition of 'focus a lot' is stylistically poor. Replacing the second clause with 'doesn't require much attention' avoids redundancy and uses 'attention' as a more natural collocation with 'require'. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same phrase in consecutive clauses; vary vocabulary for clarity.

× Again, it really depends on person to person and how much time you have.

✓ Again, it really depends from person to person and on how much time you have.

The phrase 'depends on person to person' is missing the preposition 'from'. The correct idiom is 'depends from person to person' or more commonly 'varies from person to person'. Also add 'on' before 'how much time'. Suggestion: Use fixed idiomatic expressions: 'from person to person' and 'depends on'.

× If you have to write a thesis in like 2 to three days, you would scram through it.

✓ If you have to write a thesis in like two to three days, you would scram through it.

Numbers under ten are typically written as words in formal contexts; '2 to three' mixes numerals and words and is inconsistent. Also 'scram' is likely a mistaken word for 'scram' meaning leave quickly; 'scram through' should be 'scram through' is informal—better 'scram through' is uncommon; preferred 'scrape through' or 'rush through'. Suggestion: Keep number formatting consistent and choose appropriate verbs: 'rush through' or 'rush to finish'.

× But I am personally a very punctual person, so I would read it in a detailed way and write my thesis or whatever.

✓ But I am personally a very punctual person, so I would read it in a detailed way and write my thesis carefully.

'In a detailed way' is awkward; 'carefully' or 'in detail' is more natural. 'Or whatever' is informal and vague; removing it tightens the sentence. Suggestion: Use concise adverbs like 'carefully' or the phrase 'in detail' and avoid vague fillers like 'or whatever'.

× I have to write in a very detailed and nice way, in a precise way.

✓ I have to write in a very detailed and precise way.

Redundant phrasing 'detailed and nice' is stylistically weak; 'nice' is vague. Combining 'detailed' and 'precise' removes repetition and improves clarity. Keep present tense 'have to write' as is since it matches the context. Suggestion: Remove redundant adjectives and choose precise descriptors.