Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答切题，也提供了爱好、特点和感受，但第二句过长，多个意思之间缺少连接词和标点，影响自然度。应使用“because”“Moreover”等连接词，并把“group mate”改为“teammates”，“get an award of competition”改为“win an award in a competition”。另外，避免过度解释规则，加入一个具体活动细节会更有效。

例: Yes, I’m really keen on playing Frisbee, especially with my teammates. It’s a competitive team sport, so it requires good communication and cooperation. I particularly enjoy it because I feel a great sense of achievement whenever we win a match.

提案: 回答结构清晰，有时间、地点、活动和作用等细节。不过“Badmington”应拼写为“badminton”；谈论过去时应将“helps”改为“helped”，并将“my classmate”改为复数“my classmates”更自然。“alleviate our pressure”较生硬，可改为“relieve stress”。建议减少重复表达，使答案更口语化。

例: Yes, I used to enjoy playing badminton with my classmates. We often played in the playground during breaks between lessons. It was a fun way to relax and relieve stress before the next class.

提案: 回答直接，内容包含开始时间、频率、个人感受和原因，细节较具体。主要问题是“stay feet”应改为“stay fit”，而“after a long period of studying”不够自然，可改为“after studying for a long time”。最后两句可以用“Therefore”连接，避免句子衔接突兀。

例: Yes, I’ve loved swimming since I was a child. I started taking swimming lessons when I was about seven, and I still swim twice a week. It helps me clear my mind and stay fit, so it’s a great way to relax after studying for a long time.

提案: 回答有明确观点，也进行了家庭成员与自己的对比，但第二句语法不完整，“and because”不能直接连接；“sports”是不可数名词，不能说“different kind of sports”，应改为“different kinds of sports”；“stay stay”是重复错误。可以说明父母更喜欢什么活动，并使用“whereas”增强对比，使内容更具体。

例: No, we don’t really have the same hobbies. My parents aren’t interested in sports, whereas I enjoy playing different kinds of sports, such as Frisbee and swimming. I like these activities because they help me stay fit and healthy.

× Frisbee is a very competitive team sport which emphasizes the cooperation with different members in the team it brings me a sense of accomplishment when I finally get an award of competition

✓ Frisbee is a very competitive team sport that emphasizes cooperation among different team members. It brings me a sense of accomplishment when I finally receive an award in a competition.

原句把多个完整句子直接连接在一起，形成句子结构错误和逗号拼接。应将意思完整的句子分开。

× Frisbee is a very competitive team sport which emphasizes the cooperation with different members in the team it brings me a sense of accomplishment when I finally get an award of competition

✓ Frisbee is a very competitive team sport that emphasizes cooperation among different team members. It brings me a sense of accomplishment when I finally receive an award in a competition.

表示“在比赛中获得奖项”时，应使用介词“in”，所以应说“an award in a competition”，而不是“an award of competition”。

× Frisbee is a very competitive team sport which emphasizes the cooperation with different members in the team it brings me a sense of accomplishment when I finally get an award of competition

✓ Frisbee is a very competitive team sport that emphasizes cooperation among different team members. It brings me a sense of accomplishment when I finally receive an award in a competition.

“competition”是可数名词单数，前面需要不定冠词“a”，因此应为“a competition”。

× When I was a child I enjoyed playing Badmington with my classmate. During the break between different lessons, we played Badmington in the playground, which helps us to relax and refresh ourselves.

✓ When I was a child, I enjoyed playing Badmington with my classmate. During the break between different lessons, we played Badmington in the playground, which helped us to relax and refresh ourselves.

整段描述的是童年时期发生的事情，主要时态是一般过去时。因此“helps”应改为“helped”，与“was”和“played”保持一致。

× What's more, it is also helpful for us to alleviate our pressure.

✓ What's more, it was also helpful for us to alleviate our pressure.

这里继续描述童年时期的活动和感受，所以应使用一般过去时。“is”应改为“was”。

× Swimming is an individual sport that helps me clear my mind and stay feet.

✓ Swimming is an individual sport that helps me clear my mind and stay fit.

“feet”是名词，表示“脚”；这里需要形容词“fit”，表示“健康的”。固定搭配是“stay fit”，意思是“保持健康”。

× My parents do not like playing any sports and because they are not good at it.

✓ My parents do not like playing any sports because they are not good at them.

原句同时使用“and”和“because”，造成连接结构不完整。这里使用“because”说明原因即可，不需要再加“and”。

× My parents do not like playing any sports and because they are not good at it.

✓ My parents do not like playing any sports because they are not good at them.

“sports”是复数名词，因此代词应使用复数形式“them”，不能使用单数形式“it”。

× However, in order to stay stay fit and healthy I am keen on playing different kind of sports like frisbee and swimming

✓ However, in order to stay stay fit and healthy, I am keen on playing different kinds of sports like frisbee and swimming.

“different”后面通常接可数名词复数，因此“kind”应改为“kinds”。常见搭配是“different kinds of sports”，表示“不同种类的运动”。