Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details (what you read, when, why). Use linking words and avoid repetition.

例: My favorite hobby is reading books. For example, I usually read contemporary novels and history in the evenings because they help me relax and learn new things.

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Use a clear topic sentence, correct tense, and one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid filler phrases like “I think.”

例: When I was a child, my main hobby was drawing. I drew every day and even entered a few local drawing competitions, which helped me improve my skills.

提案: Use correct verb forms and a clearer structure: topic sentence + one reason + one contrast. Use linking words (however, although) and be concise.

例: Yes, I have continued drawing since childhood. However, I don’t have as much time now as I did before, so I mostly sketch on weekends to keep it as a relaxing hobby.

提案: Avoid unnecessary hesitations and vague phrasing. Give a clear direct answer, then one specific reason and a brief example. Use natural expressions (earn a living, work long hours) instead of awkward phrases.

例: No, I don’t share hobbies with my family. My parents work long hours to earn a living, so they don’t have time for leisure activities, while I enjoy reading and drawing in my free time.

× 'I have many hobbies, but the favorite one is reading books.'

✓ 'I have many hobbies, and my favorite one is reading.'

'Books' is redundant after 'reading' when referring to the hobby; also use possessive 'my favorite' for natural phrasing. This fixes number/usage by removing unnecessary plural noun and makes the sentence more fluent.'

× 'I love reading books in my free time.'

✓ 'I love reading in my free time.'

'Reading books' is not ungrammatical, but for style and consistency with the previous correction, 'reading' alone is clearer. The present simple 'love' correctly expresses a habitual action.'

× 'I think it was drawing when I was a child I drew a lot.'

✓ 'I think it was drawing when I was a child; I drew a lot.'

Run-on sentence and tense are acceptable, but punctuation is needed to separate clauses. Use a semicolon or period. The past tense 'drew' correctly describes habitual past action.'

× 'I even go went to competition for drawings so.'

✓ 'I even went to drawing competitions.'

Incorrect verb form 'go went' mixes present and past; use past 'went'. Also pluralize 'competition' to 'competitions' or use 'a competition' and use 'drawing' as an adjective: 'drawing competitions'. Remove filler 'so'.

× 'Still be drawing because I still sketching a lot now today, but I don't have that much time as when I had in my childhood so it was just a hobby.'

✓ 'I still draw because I sketch a lot nowadays, but I don't have as much time as I did in my childhood, so it is just a hobby.'

Multiple tense and form errors: 'Still be drawing' is incorrect — use simple present 'I still draw'. 'Still sketching' should be 'I sketch' or 'I am still sketching'; choose simple present for habitual action. Comparative phrase should be 'as much time as I did in my childhood'. Use 'nowadays' instead of 'now today'. Keep clause order and punctuation for clarity.

× 'No, absolutely not because I'm only, uh, one child.'

✓ 'No, absolutely not, because I'm an only child.'

Use the idiomatic expression 'an only child' rather than 'one child'. Add commas for natural speech pauses.

× 'My parents, I think they did not have any hobby because they have to work all the time in order to seek for money.'

✓ 'My parents, I think, did not have any hobbies because they had to work all the time to earn money.'

Tense consistency: use past 'did not have' if referring to the past; use plural 'hobbies'. 'Have to work' in past becomes 'had to work'. 'Seek for money' is unnatural; use 'earn money'. Remove unnecessary words and correct word order.