Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition; give a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Keep to under five sentences and use linking words (for example, "and" or "because"). Mention specific genres or artists to add concreteness.

例: Yes, I enjoy reading and listening to music in my free time. For example, I usually read historical novels and contemporary short stories, and I listen to jazz or acoustic playlists because they help me unwind after a busy day at work.

提案: Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. Start with a clear past-tense topic sentence, then add a specific example or reason using a linking word like "because" or "so". Limit to a couple of concise sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoyed painting when I was a child because it helped me relax and explore my creativity. For instance, I often painted animals and landscapes, which showed me that I had an interest in colours and composition.

提案: Avoid filler words and combine the past and present information in a smooth sentence. Use linking words like "and" or "so" to connect ideas, and give a specific recent example (e.g., what you painted and who received it).

例: Yes, painting has been my hobby since childhood, and I still paint in my free time. For example, last month I painted a landscape that I gave to my sister as a birthday present.

提案: Make the response more natural by using a clear topic sentence and specific details. Use present simple for routines and mention examples of movies or dishes to make it vivid. Avoid repeating phrases like "together" multiple times.

例: Yes, my family and I share some hobbies; we often watch films together, especially comedies and historical dramas. We also cook meals as a family on weekends, for example we recently made homemade dumplings one Sunday, which was both fun and delicious.

× I do reading and listening to music.

✓ I read and listen to music.

The verb 'do' is unnecessary with activity verbs here. Use base verbs for habitual actions: 'read' and 'listen'. Use present simple for habits.

× It helps me relax, relax, uh, after a busy day at work, uh, I like reading, uh, various types of books and.

✓ It helps me relax after a busy day at work. I like reading various types of books.

Run-on sentence and trailing conjunction 'and' create a fragment. Split into two sentences and remove filler words. Complete the second sentence by removing the final 'and'.

× I like to do paintings when I was a child, uh, it helps me, uh, relax and also it gives me opportunity to, uh, to see my, uh, talent and.

✓ I liked painting when I was a child; it helped me relax and also gave me the opportunity to see my talent.

Tense inconsistency: talking about childhood requires past tense ('liked', 'helped', 'gave'). Use 'painting' (uncountable activity) not 'do paintings'. Remove extraneous 'to' and trailing 'and'.

× I like to do, I like to do paintings when I was a child, uh, it helps me, uh, relax and also it gives me opportunity to, uh, to see my, uh, talent and.

✓ I liked to paint when I was a child; it helped me relax and gave me the opportunity to discover my talent.

Mixed present and past tenses: when referring to past habits use past tense forms ('liked', 'helped', 'gave'). Use 'paint' instead of 'do paintings' and 'discover my talent' is natural. Remove fillers and incomplete ending.

× I, I liked paintings when I was a child and uh, currently, uh, when I have a free time, I do paintings and those paintings I give as a gift to others.

✓ I liked painting when I was a child and now, when I have free time, I paint and give my paintings as gifts to others.

Maintain past tense for childhood 'liked' then present simple for current habits 'paint' and 'give'. Use 'painting' as an activity and 'gifts' plural. Remove unnecessary articles: 'free time' no 'a'.

× Of course, uh, we, my parents and I all, uh, watching movies together and sometimes, uh, we also do cooking together.

✓ Of course, my parents and I all watch movies together and sometimes we also cook together.

Missing verb form: use present simple 'watch' and 'cook' for habitual actions. 'We, my parents and I all' is awkward; 'my parents and I all' can be simplified to 'my parents and I all' or better 'my parents and I'. Remove filler words and use correct verb conjugation.

× Uh, and we enjoyed doing this together.

✓ We enjoy doing this together.

Context indicates a current habitual activity ('we watch movies and sometimes we also cook'); use present simple 'enjoy' not past 'enjoyed' to match present. If intention was past, keep past tense consistently.

× I like reading, uh, various types of books and.

✓ I like reading various types of books.

Trailing 'and' creates incomplete sentence. Remove filler and the conjunction. No article needed before 'various types of books'.