Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 어휘 사용에서 많은 오류가 있으며 문장이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 먼저 동사 형태와 복수/단수 일치를 고치세요('taking plans'→'taking care of plants', 'is'→'are' 등). 간결한 주제문을 먼저 말한 뒤, 하나의 구체적 예(예: 허브, 작은 화분 나무)를 부연하고 장소(집에서)와 이유나 빈도(주로 집 안에서 키운다)를 추가해 문장을 2~3개로 구성하세요. 연결어(for example, especially, usually)를 사용해 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: Yes, I do. My main hobby is taking care of indoor plants, especially herbs and small potted trees. For example, I grow basil and mint on my windowsill because they are useful for cooking and easy to maintain. I usually water them every three days and enjoy watching them grow.

提案: 의미 전달이 불분명하고 문법적 오류가 많습니다. 먼저 질문에 직접 답을 하고(예: Yes, I did), 어떤 취미였는지 명확히 말하세요. 과거 시제를 일관되게 사용하고, 설명이 필요하면 간단한 이유나 배경(예: 가족 영향)을 덧붙이되 복잡한 관계 설명은 피하세요. 연결어(since, because)를 사용해 논리적 흐름을 만드세요.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, I enjoyed helping my parents in the garden because my family lived in a rural area. My interest in plants started there, as I learned how to water and care for vegetables and herbs from my parents.

提案: 문장 길이가 길고 중복 표현이 많으며 어휘·문법 오류가 있습니다. 'Taking plenty'는 의미 불명확하니 'taking care of plants'로 고치고, 각 취미를 한 문장씩 명확히 말하세요. 이유를 덧붙일 때에는 간결한 이유(예: it relaxes me, I enjoy the company)와 연결어(because, and)로 흐름을 정리하세요.

例: Yes. One hobby I've had since childhood is taking care of plants, and another is spending time training and playing with my dog. I enjoy both because caring for plants relaxes me, and working with my dog gives me a peaceful and happy feeling.

提案: 일반적으로 의사소통은 되지만 동사 형태와 시제, 문장 구조 오류가 있습니다. 'I usually playing'→'I usually play'처럼 동사원형을 사용하고 가족의 악기 연주를 말할 때 현재형으로 통일하세요. 또한 주제문(Yes, I do)을 짧게 말한 뒤 구체적 행동(what instruments, when you play)을 추가해 두세 문장으로 구성하세요.

例: Yes, we do share hobbies. I usually play musical instruments in my free time; my father plays the violin and my mother plays the clarinet. Sometimes we practice and play music together at home, which is a great way to relax.

× Yes I do, my hobby is taking plans and care of indoor plants.

✓ Yes, I do. My hobby is taking care of indoor plants.

The phrase 'taking plans and care of indoor plants' contains incorrect word choice and word order. Use 'taking care of' to express tending plants. Also add punctuation and remove 'plans' which is likely a typo for 'plants' or unnecessary. Improve by using the gerund phrase 'taking care of' after 'is'. Tip: Use 'taking care of' + noun to describe caring activities (e.g., taking care of plants).

× For example herbs or small potted tree is my favorite plants and I also taking them in my home.

✓ For example, herbs or small potted trees are my favorite plants and I also keep them in my home.

Multiple errors: subject-verb agreement (plural subject needs 'are'), singular/plural mismatch ('small potted tree' should be 'small potted trees' to match 'herbs' and 'plants'), and incorrect verb form 'taking them in my home' should be 'keep them in my home'. Use commas for clarity. Suggestion: Ensure nouns agree in number and verbs match the subject; use 'keep' or 'have' for possession of plants. Tip: Check each noun's number and make the verb agree (herbs and trees -> are).

× As I said before, I had hobbies since I was a very young child and is from my parent friend's parents who is farmer now.

✓ As I said before, I have had hobbies since I was a very young child, and they come from my parents' friend, whose parents are farmers now.

'Had' with 'since' is usually present perfect 'have had' to indicate continuing state. Pronoun and agreement errors: 'is from my parent friend's parents who is farmer now' is ungrammatical. Clarify meaning: hobbies originated from a parents' friend; use possessive 'parents'' and relative clause 'whose parents are farmers'. Use plural 'farmers' and match verbs accordingly. Tip: Use present perfect for actions continuing from past to present (have had). Use proper possessive forms and relative pronouns.

× Taking plenty is one of my favorite hobby and another one is working with my dog because I like to work and it feels me serene and peaceful atmosphere to work with my dog and is also happy with that time.

✓ Taking care of plants is one of my favorite hobbies, and another is working with my dog because I enjoy it; it gives me a serene and peaceful feeling, and I am happy at that time.

Multiple issues: 'Taking plenty' likely means 'taking care of plants' and needs correct noun 'plants' and phrase 'taking care of'. 'One of my favorite hobby' should be plural 'hobbies'. 'Feels me serene' is incorrect; use 'gives me a serene and peaceful feeling' or 'makes me feel serene and peaceful'. Also 'is also happy with that time' should be 'I am also happy at that time'. Use consistent subject and verb forms and correct gerund usage. Tip: Use 'makes me feel' or 'gives me' for emotional states, ensure subject pronouns present when needed.

× Yes I do. I usually playing instruments when I have a leisure time and my father is a violinist and my mother is playing clarinet, so we usually playing instruments.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually play instruments when I have leisure time. My father is a violinist and my mother plays the clarinet, so we usually play instruments together.

Verb forms are incorrect: use base form after adverb 'usually' ('usually play', not 'usually playing'). 'Have a leisure time' should be 'have leisure time' or 'have some free time'. 'My mother is playing clarinet' should be simple present 'my mother plays the clarinet'. Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and add 'together' for clarity. Tip: Use simple present for habitual actions (I usually play, my mother plays). Remove unnecessary articles like 'a' before 'leisure time'.