Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct article usage and verb forms, then add a short specific detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition like “also” and unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I have several hobbies. For example, I enjoy reading novels because they help me learn new vocabulary, and I often listen to soft music to relax after studying.

提案: Improve grammar (past tense) and sentence structure, use linking words to organize ideas, and give one clear specific example. Remove hesitations and repetition.

例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. For instance, I used to watch cartoons on holidays because they entertained me and helped me relax after school.

提案: Correct articles and verb forms, avoid repeating the same idea. Begin with a topic sentence, then use a linking word to add a specific detail about frequency or reason.

例: Yes, I have played football since childhood. I usually play it on holidays or weekends because it helps me stay fit and clears my mind.

提案: Use correct grammar and clearer phrasing. Start with a direct answer, then give a concise specific example with a linking word, and avoid vague phrases like “important time period.”

例: Yes, I share some hobbies with my family. For example, my mother loves cooking, so I often cook with her for family gatherings to learn new recipes and techniques.

× Yes, I have number of hobbies since childhood.

✓ Yes, I have a number of hobbies since childhood.

Missing article 'a' before 'number' makes the phrase ungrammatical; use 'a number of' to indicate several. Also tense 'since childhood' is acceptable with present perfect 'have had', but 'have a number of hobbies since childhood' is acceptable if meaning is current possession that began in the past. Consider 'I have had a number of hobbies since childhood' to emphasize continuity.

× I like to read books and also listen music for getting relaxation and also enjoyment.

✓ I like to read books and also listen to music to relax and enjoy myself.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object: 'listen to music'. 'For getting relaxation' is awkward; use the infinitive 'to relax' and 'enjoy myself' is a natural phrase. Remove redundant 'also'.

× When I was child I had many hobbies.

✓ When I was a child, I had many hobbies.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' is incorrect. Also add a comma after the adverbial clause 'When I was a child' for clarity. This fixes sentence structure and grammaticality.

× Firstly I like to watch TV on my holidays I I watch cartoons, Mongoli cartoons which give me relax and also unwind my feelings and.

✓ First, I liked to watch TV on my holidays. I watched cartoons, Mongolian cartoons, which relaxed me and helped me unwind.

The context is past (when you were a child), so use past tense 'liked' and 'watched' instead of present 'like'. 'Mongoli cartoons' is likely 'Mongolian cartoons'. 'Give me relax' is ungrammatical; use past 'relaxed me' or 'helped me relax' and 'unwind my feelings' is awkward; 'helped me unwind' is natural. Also remove duplicated 'I' and fix sentence breaks.

× Yes, I have a hobbies since childhood.

✓ Yes, I have a hobby since childhood.

Combination of 'a' with plural 'hobbies' is incorrect. Use either 'a hobby' (singular) or 'hobbies' without 'a'. Given 'since childhood' implying one continued hobby, 'a hobby' fits; if multiple, 'I have had hobbies since childhood' would be better.

× I like love to play football in my holidays and also when I get a time to relax my mind and for some enjoyment I usually play football.

✓ I love to play football on my holidays, and when I have time to relax and for enjoyment I usually play football.

Incorrect collocation 'like love' is redundant; choose 'love' or 'like'. Use preposition 'on my holidays' or 'during my holidays' (not 'in my holidays'). 'Get a time' is incorrect; use 'have time'. 'Relax my mind' is acceptable but 'relax' alone is more natural. Streamline sentence to avoid repetition.

× Yes, I have same hobbies as my family members.

✓ Yes, I have the same hobbies as my family members.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'same' is required in this comparative structure: 'the same hobbies as'. This fixes the pronoun/determiner usage.

× For example my mother love to cook different cuisines at different occasions and also I copy her to make different dishes at important time period.

✓ For example, my mother loves to cook different cuisines on different occasions, and I copy her to make different dishes at important times.

Subject-verb agreement: 'mother' requires 'loves' (third person singular). Use 'on different occasions' not 'at'. 'Important time period' is awkward; 'important times' or 'on important occasions' is natural. Add comma after introductory phrase.