Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar and avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “waiting sometime cardio”).

例: Yes, I enjoy keeping fit. For example, I regularly go to the gym to lift weights and sometimes do outdoor cardio, like brisk walking or jogging, because it helps me relax and stay healthy.

提案: Be more confident and specific. Use a clear topic sentence, then give specific ages and details about the hobby, linking ideas with words like “for example” or “when”. Fix tense and article errors.

例: Yes. When I was about 13 to 15 years old I collected coins from different countries. For example, I had several old coins from India and some small coins from Europe, and I kept them in a small album.

提案: Answer directly and more coherently. Begin with a clear statement about whether the hobby continued, then briefly explain with a reason. Use linking words like “however” or “but” to connect clauses, and correct awkward phrasing.

例: No, I don’t. I used to collect coins when I was 13 to 15, but I lost interest as I grew older. For instance, I stopped collecting because I became busy with studies and had no time to maintain the collection.

提案: Give a direct, fluent answer and provide one clear reason or example. Avoid hesitations and unclear words like “genre” in this context. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example.”

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family’s because they prefer watching movies and cooking, while I prefer exercising. For example, my father likes gardening, but I spend my free time at the gym.

× Yes I do, I like to do workout or doing extracurricular activities in the gym as well in the outdoor like walk or waiting sometime cardio.

✓ Yes, I do. I like to work out and do extracurricular activities in the gym, and I also enjoy outdoor activities like walking or sometimes doing cardio.

The sentence mixes base verb, 'to do workout', and gerund forms incorrectly. Use 'work out' (phrasal verb) for exercise and parallel structure with 'do extracurricular activities' and 'enjoy outdoor activities like walking'. 'Waiting' is incorrect; use 'doing' or 'doing cardio' and 'sometimes' should precede the verb for correct adverb placement. Also add commas and conjunctions for clarity.

× So I have no any clue of it, but I remembered when I was 15 years old or something like 13 years old.

✓ I don't really remember exactly, but I remember when I was about 15 or maybe 13 years old.

'I have no any clue of it' is ungrammatical; use 'I don't really remember' or 'I have no clue'. 'But I remembered' mixes past simple awkwardly with current reference—use present 'remember' for recollection. Remove redundant 'something like' and use 'about' or 'maybe' for approximation.

× I have an hobby to collect coins of different countries.

✓ I had a hobby of collecting coins from different countries.

Use 'a hobby' not 'an hobby' because 'hobby' begins with a consonant sound. Also 'to collect coins' is better as 'of collecting coins' or 'a hobby collecting coins'. Use 'from' when specifying countries. Maintain tense consistency with surrounding past context ('had').

× So yes I would say there is a hobby.

✓ So yes, I would say I had that hobby.

'There is a hobby' is unnatural here; the speaker refers to having had a hobby in the past. Use 'I had that hobby' to match meaning and tense. 'There is' is for existence in present, which doesn't fit the context.

× Not at all, because when I was like 13 or 15 years old I used to collect coins in order to collect or store, but now I have no any urge to do so, so that's why it is not at all.

✓ Not at all, because when I was 13 to 15 years old I used to collect coins to keep them, but now I have no urge to do so, so I don't anymore.

Remove redundant phrases: 'in order to collect or store' is repetitive; 'to keep them' is clearer. 'No any urge' is ungrammatical—use 'no urge' or 'not the urge'. 'That's why it is not at all' is vague; use 'so I don't anymore' or 'so I don't have that hobby now.' Maintain tense consistency with 'used to' for past habit.

× Not at all. Because uh, my uh. Genre is different than his, so I would say that there's a lot of differences between me and my family members.

✓ Not at all. My interests are different from his, so I would say there are many differences between me and my family members.

'Genre' is incorrect for personal preferences; use 'interests'. 'Different than his' should be 'different from his' or 'different from him'. Also use 'there are many differences' (plural) and avoid sentence fragments like 'Because uh, my uh.' Combine into full sentences for clarity.