Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "I usually do Pilates" and "I like reading novels, especially long comic novels"). Avoid redundant phrases and keep to four or five sentences maximum.

例: I have a couple of hobbies. I usually do Pilates three times a week because it helps me stay flexible and reduce stress. I also enjoy reading, especially long comic novels, because they spark my imagination and help me relax in the evenings.

提案: Clarify the hobby and fix vocabulary: likely you meant "drawing" rather than "dying." Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give specific examples and link them logically. Use past tense consistently for childhood activities. Avoid vague phrases like "some kind of that."

例: Yes, when I was a child I loved drawing, especially fashion illustrations. I often sketched clothes and accessories and imagined my own designs because I was passionate about fashion and wanted to become a designer.

提案: Use correct verbs and clearer phrasing: replace "leading novels" with "reading novels" and use present perfect or present simple appropriately. Provide one clear reason why you continue the hobby and a specific detail. Keep sentences shorter and coherent with linking words.

例: Yes, I've enjoyed reading novels since I was a child. In particular, I like long comic novels because they are entertaining and comforting, and they help me relax after a busy day.

提案: Clarify family member reference and use natural expressions: replace unclear words like "Cedar" and "lived to do Pilates." Start with a topic sentence, then add a linking phrase and a specific example about going together. Use consistent verb tenses and natural collocations (e.g., "we do Pilates together" or "we go to a studio nearby").

例: Yes, my younger sister also enjoys Pilates. When our schedules match, we go to a nearby Pilates studio together, which is a nice way to exercise and spend time with each other.

× Yes, I usually go to do Pilates.

✓ Yes, I usually go to Pilates.

The phrase 'go to do' is incorrect here. After 'go' when describing an activity you commonly use 'go' + activity (for exercise classes use the base noun) or 'go to' + place. Use 'go to Pilates' or 'do Pilates'. Suggestion: say 'I usually do Pilates' or 'I usually go to Pilates classes.'

× I like to go exercise that is the one of my hobby and I also like to reading the books like novels, long comedy book that is encouraged me to create my imagination.

✓ I like to exercise; that is one of my hobbies, and I also like reading books such as long comic novels that encourage my imagination.

Multiple issues: 'the one of my hobby' should be 'one of my hobbies' (quantifier and article), 'go exercise' is incorrect (use 'exercise' or 'go to exercise'), and 'like to reading' should be 'like reading' (verb form). 'long comedy book' likely means 'long comic novels' and 'that is encouraged me' should be 'that encourage me' (subject-verb agreement). Suggestions: break into shorter clauses, use plural 'hobbies', use gerund 'reading', and match verb number with plural subject 'novels encourage.'

× When I was young, I like to dying, especially during a picture of this and fashion some kind of that because I have a passion about fashion and I want to be designer.

✓ When I was young, I liked drawing, especially pictures of clothes and fashion, because I had a passion for fashion and wanted to be a designer.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was young' requires past tense 'liked' and 'had'. 'like to dying' mixes forms; correct verb is 'liked drawing'. 'during a picture of this' is incorrect phrase; use 'pictures of clothes/fashion'. 'have a passion' should be past tense 'had' to match. 'want to be designer' needs article 'a designer.' Suggestion: use past simple consistently for childhood activities and correct verb and noun forms.

× Yes, I have enjoyed leading novels since I was a child and I still live in person.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed reading novels since I was a child and I still do now.

'Have enjoyed' with 'since I was a child' is acceptable but 'leading novels' is incorrect; should be 'reading novels'. 'I still live in person' is unclear and ungrammatical; likely meant 'I still do' (still enjoy reading) or 'I still read in person' but context implies continuing the hobby. Suggestion: use 'reading' and 'I still do' to express continuity.

× Especially I lead long comedy novel that is very cute and entertain myself and heal me.

✓ Especially I read long comic novels that are very cute and entertain and comfort me.

'lead' is wrong verb; use 'read'. 'long comedy novel' should be 'long comic novels' or 'long humorous novels' (plural to match general statement). 'that is very cute' must match plural 'are'. 'entertain myself and heal me' is awkward; use 'entertain and comfort me.' Suggestion: use correct verb 'read', plural nouns, and concise expressions 'entertain and comfort me.'

× Yeah, I have younger Cedar and she lived to do Pilates.

✓ Yes, I have a younger sister called Cedar and she likes to do Pilates.

'I have younger Cedar' lacks noun; need 'a younger sister called Cedar'. 'She lived to do Pilates' is wrong verb 'lived'; should be 'likes to do Pilates' to express preference. Suggestion: include the noun 'sister' and use 'likes' for present habit.

× So sometime if we have a same schedule, like same free time schedule, we will go to do Pilates together at the studio close to my house.

✓ So sometimes if we have the same schedule, like the same free time, we will do Pilates together at the studio close to my house.

Use 'sometimes' (plural adverb). 'a same schedule' should be 'the same schedule'. 'go to do Pilates' is awkward; use 'do Pilates' or 'go to Pilates classes'. 'free time schedule' is redundant; 'the same free time' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'the same' for shared schedules and simplify to 'do Pilates together' or 'go to a Pilates class together.'