Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make a complete sentence, expand slightly with a reason or brief detail, and avoid fragments. Use a topic sentence then one supporting detail connected by a linking word.

例: Yes, I enjoy dancing. It is my favorite hobby because it helps me stay fit and express myself creatively.

提案: Organize your answer into clear sentences: state the hobbies, then add specific details (when, how, with whom). Avoid repetitions and unclear phrases; use linking words like "and" or "because."

例: Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed drawing and playing games. I often played with my brother and sister, and we used to draw pictures and invent imaginative games together.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence naming the hobby, then give one or two specific supporting details. Remove filler words and unclear phrases. Use linking words such as "and" or "so" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I have loved drawing since childhood. I used to spend hours sketching characters and playing board games with my brother and sisters, which helped me be creative and sociable.

提案: Give a full sentence and expand briefly: say whether you share hobbies and provide one example or contrast. Use a linking word like "for example" or "but" to clarify.

例: Yes, in some ways we share hobbies; for example, my siblings and I enjoy playing games together, but I focus more on dancing while they prefer drawing.

× Dancing My favorite hobby is dancing.

✓ My favorite hobby is dancing.

The original begins with a stray word 'Dancing' followed by a complete clause, producing an unnecessary fragment. Remove the extra word so the sentence has a single subject and verb: 'My favorite hobby is dancing.' This yields a complete, grammatical sentence.

× Yes I'm I'm smart with my hobbies, I like small with hobbies, drawing, playing with my. Brother sister What I I like my brother sister to play.

✓ Yes. I'm good at my hobbies. I like simple hobbies such as drawing and playing with my brother and sister. What I like is playing with my brother and sister.

The original contains many fragments, repetitions, wrong word choices ('smart' instead of 'good', 'small with hobbies' instead of 'simple hobbies'), and punctuation issues. Use present simple to describe habitual likes: 'I like' and 'I am good at.' Combine and reorder words to form clear noun phrases ('simple hobbies such as drawing') and coordinating nouns ('my brother and sister'). Break into shorter sentences to avoid run-on fragments.

× When I smile, I use the hobbies, uh, like drawing and like. Playoff games, uh, I play with my brother, sister, uh, and my small sisters.

✓ Since childhood, I have enjoyed hobbies like drawing and playing games. I play these with my brother and sister and my younger sisters.

The original is ungrammatical and confusing: 'When I smile' is inappropriate, 'use the hobbies' is incorrect collocation, and 'small sisters' should be 'younger sisters.' Use a clear time phrase ('Since childhood') and present perfect or present simple to indicate long-standing habits. Use correct collocations ('enjoy hobbies', 'playing games') and proper modifiers ('younger sisters').

× Same hobbies.

✓ Yes, we have the same hobbies.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a verb. Add a subject and verb to form a complete answer appropriate to the question. 'Yes, we have the same hobbies' clearly states the relationship and matches the present tense context.