Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, grammatical and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence (e.g., name one or two hobbies). Use linking words to add brief, specific details (why you enjoy them and current situation). Avoid repetition and long run-on sentences. Limit to 2–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I have several hobbies, including painting and dancing. I enjoyed dancing while growing up because it helped me express myself, but at the moment I have less time due to a busy schedule. In the future I hope to take classes again when I can free up some time.

提案: Good: clear topic sentence and specific details (time spent, reasons). Improve by correcting tense consistency and using linking words for coherence. Keep sentences shorter and avoid minor grammar errors.

例: Yes, I loved to dance as a child. I used to spend two to three hours every evening practising because dancing helped me express my emotions and relax after school. As a result, I became quite confident performing in front of others.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence confirming whether you still have the hobby. Use correct tense and refine phrasing (e.g., 'I used to dance' / 'I can't continue it now'). Give a concise plan for the future and avoid vague words like 'memorize'.

例: Yes, dancing is a hobby I have had since childhood, although I don't practise it regularly now because of my heavy workload. However, I plan to join a dance class next year when my schedule is less busy so I can rebuild my skills.

提案: Answer directly and reduce hesitations ('uh', 'umm'). Use linking words to compare and give a clear reason. Improve grammar and phrasing: say 'it depends on a person's personality' and provide a short example then a concluding sentence.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. For instance, my brother enjoys reading, while I prefer dancing. I think hobbies reflect individual personality rather than family influence, so people in the same family often have different interests.

× Yes I do I to of quite of activities in my free time such as painting, dancing when I was growing up I love to do dance but now due to my hectic schedule I am not able to catch up with that but in future whenever.

✓ Yes, I do. I used to do quite a lot of activities in my free time, such as painting and dancing. When I was growing up, I loved to dance, but now, due to my hectic schedule, I am not able to keep up with it. In the future, whenever I have time, I will try to take it up again.

The original sentence is run-on and unclear, combining multiple ideas without proper punctuation or structure. Break long run-on into separate sentences, use correct verb forms (used to, loved), coordinate items with 'and', and use appropriate phrases: 'keep up with it' and 'in the future whenever I have time'. Use commas to separate clauses.

× When I was a child, I loved to dance. I usually spend 2 to 3 hours daily in the evening, and I also think that dance is a form of art through which I can express my emotions and relax after my school.

✓ When I was a child, I loved to dance. I usually spent 2 to 3 hours daily in the evening, and I also think that dance is a form of art through which I can express my emotions and relax after school.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was a child' requires past time reference for 'usually spent' rather than present 'spend'. Also 'after my school' is incorrect; use 'after school'. Ensure verbs match time frame and remove unnecessary possessive.

× As I stated earlier, I was a good dancer and but now due to my hectic work schedule I'm not able to continue my hobby. But in future whenever I got time I will join some dancing classes so that I can memorize.

✓ As I stated earlier, I was a good dancer, but now, due to my hectic work schedule, I'm not able to continue my hobby. In the future, whenever I get time, I will join some dance classes so that I can practice again.

Redundant conjunctions ('and but') and incorrect tense 'got time' should be 'get time' (future context). 'Dancing classes' is acceptable but 'dance classes' is more natural; 'memorize' is incorrect here—use 'practice' or 'refresh my skills'. Add commas to separate clauses.

× Actually no. Uh, I think it depends on the personality of the person. Umm, for example, my brother loves to read books whereas I love dancing. I think it is not depending on the family to have same hobbies, it is the nature on which we can uh conclude.

✓ Actually, no. I think it depends on a person's personality. For example, my brother loves to read books whereas I love dancing. I don't think having the same hobbies depends on family; it depends on a person's nature.

Awkward phrasing and incorrect preposition use: 'depends on the personality of the person' is better as 'depends on a person's personality'. 'It is not depending on the family to have same hobbies' is incorrect—use 'having the same hobbies does not depend on family'. Also 'it is the nature on which we can conclude' is awkward; rephrase to 'it depends on a person's nature'. Remove filler words and improve sentence flow.