Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct, grammatical topic sentence and then one or two specific supporting details. Use correct verb forms and simple linking words to connect ideas. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences).

例: I enjoy dancing in my free time. It keeps me physically fit and helps me relax mentally, so I feel refreshed after a session.

提案: Answer directly with a clear past-tense sentence and provide a brief explanation or example. Fix repetition and grammar (use past tense and correct word order).

例: When I was a child, I wanted to be a doctor and enjoyed reading books about medicine, which made me curious about how the human body works.

提案: State the hobby clearly and give a specific detail about how long or why you kept it. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. Use correct tense and plural/singular forms.

例: Yes, I have enjoyed dancing since I was five years old, and I have continued taking classes because it helps me express myself and stay healthy.

提案: Give a concise direct answer, then give one or two clear reasons with specific examples. Use correct grammar and linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. For example, I like dancing while my parents prefer gardening, because we have different interests and free-time priorities.

× I have dancing away.

✓ I dance regularly.

The original uses 'have dancing away' which is ungrammatical. The student likely means they engage in dancing as a hobby. Use the base verb 'dance' with an adverb like 'regularly' or 'as a hobby'. This fixes verb form and clarifies meaning.

× I like dance.

✓ I like dancing.

After the verb 'like', a gerund (verb + -ing) is used to describe an activity. 'Dance' as a noun is possible but 'dancing' is more natural when talking about enjoying the activity.

× Dance make our mind fresh and physically and mentally.

✓ Dancing makes our minds fresh, both physically and mentally.

The subject 'Dancing' is singular and requires the third person singular verb 'makes' (subject-verb agreement). 'Mind' should be plural when speaking generally ('our minds'). Add commas and 'both' for clarity and correct word order for adverbs 'physically and mentally'.

× When I when I was a child, my hobbies a bit.

✓ When I was a child, my hobbies were a bit different.

The original repeats 'when I' and omits a verb for 'my hobbies'. Use past tense 'were' for plural 'hobbies'. Add 'different' to complete the meaning: likely the student meant their hobbies were somewhat different when they were a child.

× It's to be a doctor.

✓ I wanted to be a doctor.

'It's to be a doctor' is ungrammatical. To express a past desire, use 'I wanted to be a doctor.' This matches the past-tense context 'when I was a child'.

× Yeah, as I do I have a dancing hobbies I have uh, I have I had a sensitive.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby of dancing since childhood.

The original sentence has extra pronouns and fragments. Use a concise sentence: 'I have had a hobby of dancing since childhood.' This uses present perfect 'have had' to show continuity from childhood to now and uses 'hobby' (singular) or 'hobbies' if multiple; here 'a hobby' fits the intended meaning.

× No, I don't have a same hobbies as my family members because we are different.

✓ No, I don't have the same hobbies as my family members because we are different.

Use 'the same' (definite form) and 'hobbies' without the indefinite article 'a'. The correct phrase is 'the same hobbies'.

× We are different kind of thinking so that's why we have a different friend hobbies so.

✓ We have different ways of thinking, so we have different hobbies and friends.

'Different kind of thinking' should be 'different ways of thinking.' 'Different friend hobbies' is unclear; likely means 'different hobbies and different friends.' Remove redundant 'so' at the end. This rephrasing clarifies meaning and corrects adjective/noun usage.