Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子有语法错误和重复，应注意主谓一致、时态和单数/复数形式；回答要更简洁、有条理，使用连接词衔接观点并给出具体细节（例如喜欢的音乐类型或踢球的频率）。建议将内容控制在最多五句内，并使用更丰富的词汇表达情感和原因。

例: Yes, I have a couple of hobbies. I enjoy listening to music, especially acoustic and indie, because it helps me relax after a long day. I also play football twice a week, which keeps me fit and helps me relieve stress.

提案: 句子结构混乱且有语法错误（例如时态、拼写和不完整句子），表达不够具体。回答时先用主题句直接回答，再用一两句具体细节支持（什么时候、在哪里、做得频率或感受），并注意时态一致。

例: Yes, I did. As a child I loved riding my bike in the park near my home because it was fun and adventurous. I rode almost every afternoon, which helped me build stamina and made me feel happy and relaxed.

提案: 回答较清晰但有些表述刻板和语法小错（例如“environmental friendly”需为“environmentally friendly”），细节可以更具体（骑行频率、路线或情感）。使用连接词使句子流畅并丰富词汇。

例: Yes, I still enjoy cycling. I find it environmentally friendly and convenient for short trips, so I often ride to the shopping mall or the cinema on weekends. Cycling also keeps me active and helps me avoid traffic.

提案: 回答内容清楚但有重复词和填充词（如“uh”“we we”），句子需更准确（如“make us feel”），并可给出具体例子（一起听的音乐类型或一起做音乐的场合）。减少重复，使用连词提高流畅度。

例: Yes, my parents and I share a love of music. We often listen to music together at home, especially classical and old pop songs, which creates a relaxing atmosphere. Sometimes we recommend new tracks to each other and discuss our favorites.

× Yes, one of my hobby is listening to music.

✓ Yes, one of my hobbies is listening to music.

句子中的 one of 后面应接复数名词，表示“……之一”。原句使用单数 hobby 与语法不符，应改为 hobbies。建议记住搭配：one of + 复数名词。

× It can makes me feel relaxed and comfortable and relieve stress after working.

✓ It can make me feel relaxed and comfortable and relieve stress after working.

在情态动词 can 之后动词用原形，不能加 -s。原句 makes 错误地使用了第三人称单数形式，应改为 make。建议：情态动词后用动词原形。

× Also I like playing football that makes me feel relaxed.

✓ Also, I like playing football because it makes me feel relaxed.

原句使用 that 引导的定语从句不自然，且缺少连接词导致句意模糊。应使用 because 或 which 来说明原因并在适当位置加逗号。建议用 because 表示原因，或用 which 引导非限制性定语从句并加逗号。

× Yes I did, why was a child I like riding a bike.

✓ Yes I did. When I was a child I liked riding a bike.

原句有多处错误：'why' 应为 when；时态不一致，描述过去应使用过去式 liked；句子也需要断句。建议用 When I was a child, I liked ... 并把 like 改为 liked。

× It is. I always ride a bike in the park near my home.

✓ I always rode my bike in the park near my home.

前句的 It is. 没有意义且打断陈述；叙述童年经历应使用过去时，且使用常用表达 rode my bike。建议删除无意义的 It is 并把动词改为过去式 rode。

× It is It was really fun and can stronger my body and help me feel relaxed and comfortable.

✓ It was really fun and could strengthen my body and help me feel relaxed and comfortable.

句子时态应为过去（was）；情态动词 can 在过去语境中应改为 could；动词 stronger 是形容词，应改为动词 strengthen 表示“增强”。建议：过去描述用过去时，选择正确动词形式（strengthen）。

× Yes I do now. I still like riding a bike because the bike is environmental friendly and it is very convenient to park.

✓ Yes I do now. I still like riding a bike because the bike is environmentally friendly and it is very convenient to park.

environmental friendly 组合不正确，需用副词形式 environmentally 修饰 friendly；整体句子时态为现在，一般正确。建议记住形容词与副词的正确搭配：environmentally friendly。

× I always ride it to go to some place like shopping mall or cinema.

✓ I always ride it to places like the shopping mall or the cinema.

some place 表达不自然，且可数名词需用复数或具体冠词；添加定冠词 the 更自然。建议将 some place 改为 places，shopping mall 和 cinema 前加 the 或用复数。

× Yes, my parents and I all like uh, listening to music.

✓ Yes, my parents and I all like listening to music.

原句在语法上主要问题是多余的 uh（语填词），在书面表达中应去掉；句子本身代词使用正确。建议去掉口语填充词以使句子更清晰。

× We often listen to music together that makes me us feel comfortable and relaxed.

✓ We often listen to music together, which makes us feel comfortable and relaxed.

原句中 that makes me us 语序错误且 me us 并列不正确；在描述整体情况时应使用非限制性定语从句 which，并用正确的宾格 us。建议使用 which 引导并用 us 作为宾格。

× Also, we we sometimes stay together and exchange the interesting music.

✓ Also, we sometimes stay together and share interesting music.

原句有重复 we we，且 exchange the interesting music 用法不自然；share interesting music 更符合英语表达。建议删除重复并使用更地道的动词 share，通常不需加定冠词 the。