Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğal fakat düzensiz ve dilbilgisi hataları içeriyor. Cümleleri daha akıcı ve kısa tutarak, bir konu cümlesiyle başlayıp ardından 1–2 destekleyici detay ekleyin. Bağlaçlar (for example, and, also) doğru yerlere konmalı; fiil formları (gerund/infinitive) tutarlı olmalı. Ayrıca gereksiz tekrar ve listeleri sadeleştirin.

例: Yes, I have several hobbies. For example, I enjoy swimming and reading books, and I often go for runs or walks with my friends. I also like visiting museums and listening to music in my free time.

提案: Cümle yapısı ve zaman kullanımı yanlış; daha doğal bir geçmiş zamanı kullanın. "Because" ile sonucu değil nedeni açıklarken bağlamı netleştirin. Kısa, doğrudan bir konu cümlesi ve ardından bir neden veya örnek verin.

例: Yes, many of my hobbies started in childhood. For instance, I learned to swim and played chess competitively from around sixth grade, which helped me take those hobbies more seriously.

提案: Cevap kısa ve tekrarlı; zamanları ve kelime seçimlerini düzeltin. Konu cümlesiyle başlayıp neden ve kısa bir örnek ekleyin. Gereksiz ifadeleri çıkarın ve akışı bağlaçlarla güzelce bağlayın.

例: Yes, I have two lifelong hobbies: listening to music and swimming. I grew up in a musical household, so music was always around me, and my parents enrolled me in swimming lessons, which made me love the sport.

提案: Cümleler karışık ve dilbilgisi hataları var (özellikle fiil çekimleri ve çoğul kullanımlar). Önce net bir konu cümlesi verin, sonra nedenini kısaca açıklayın. Gereksiz tekrarlardan kaçının ve daha doğal bağlaçlar kullanın.

例: We share at least one hobby: listening to music. In my family, music is popular because many relatives enjoy it, but otherwise our hobbies differ a lot due to our varied personalities.

× For example swimming, reading a book, doing a run or walk with my friends, go to do museums or listening to music.

✓ For example, swimming, reading books, going for runs or walks with my friends, visiting museums, or listening to music.

Multiple verbs should be in parallel gerund form after 'for example'. Use 'reading books' (plural) or 'reading a book' consistently, 'going for runs or walks' instead of 'doing a run or walk', and 'visiting museums' instead of 'go to do museums'. Maintain parallel structure.

× Yes, lots of my hobbies coming from my childhood, especially playing chess and swimming because I do those things professional in like 6th grade.

✓ Yes, many of my hobbies come from my childhood, especially playing chess and swimming, because I did those things professionally since around 6th grade.

Use present tense 'come' for a general fact and past tense 'did' for completed actions in childhood. 'Coming' is incorrect here. 'Professional' should be 'professionally' (adverb). 'In like 6th grade' should be 'since around 6th grade' for clarity and proper preposition.

× Listening to music and swimming. The music was around my house whole time and the swimming is coming from my family.

✓ Listening to music and swimming. Music was around my house the whole time, and swimming came from my family.

Sentence fragments and tense inconsistencies: 'The music was around my house whole time' needs 'the' and 'the whole time'. 'The swimming is coming from my family' is awkward; use simple past 'came' to match background context. Also avoid fragment by connecting to previous sentence appropriately.

× My parents take me to the course for the swimming and I like it. And then it was my hobby.

✓ My parents took me to swimming classes and I liked it. After that it became my hobby.

Use past tense 'took' and 'liked' for past events. 'Course for the swimming' is unnatural; 'swimming classes' is idiomatic. 'Then it was my hobby' should be 'it became my hobby' to show transition.

× Yes, but that's just like one hobby. I listening to music.

✓ Yes, but that's just one hobby. I listen to music.

'I listening' is missing the auxiliary/inflection; the correct simple present is 'I listen'. Also 'just like one hobby' is informal; 'just one hobby' is clearer.

× I remember in my family listening to music for hobby and other hobbies is so different because in my family members we have so much different personalities and that's the reason.

✓ I remember that in my family listening to music was a hobby, but other hobbies are very different because our family members have many different personalities, and that's the reason.

Fix pronoun and word order: add 'that' after 'remember', use past tense 'was' or present 'is' consistently, 'in my family members we have' is incorrect order — use 'our family members have'. 'So much different' should be 'many different' or 'very different'. Clarify sentence structure to avoid confusion.