Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сфокусируйтесь на ясном, кратком ответе; избегайте ненужных пауз, заполняющих слов и ошибок в выборе слов (например, «cocaine» — недопустимо и совершенно неуместно). Постройте ответ: тема + 1–2 конкретных детали (как часто, зачем, где). Также используйте связки (for example, because) и избегайте несвязанного набора слов.

例: Yes, I have several hobbies. I enjoy learning English because it helps me communicate internationally, and I also like walking in the park almost every day to relax and stay fit.

提案: Ответьте прямо на вопрос о вашем детстве, а не о наличии ребёнка. Начните с темы, затем приведите конкретный пример хобби в детстве и почему вы его любили. Уберите бессмысленные слова и исправьте грамматику (например, "when I was a child" и прошедшее время).

例: When I was a child, I liked drawing and playing football. I drew every weekend because it helped me be creative, and I played football with friends to stay active.

提案: Дайте чёткий ответ о том, продолжаете ли вы хобби с детства. Используйте простое предложение-тезис, затем пояснение с конкретикой (когда занимались, почему прекратили или продолжаете). Избегайте путаницы и ненужных повторов.

例: I have had an interest in mountaineering since childhood, although I don't practice it much now because I live in the city. I enjoyed hiking in the mountains as a teenager because it challenged me and gave me beautiful views.

提案: Ответьте прямо и объясните разницу конкретно: перечислите хобби семьи и укажите, чем ваши интересы отличаются, с краткой причиной. Используйте связки (however, but) и избегайте разговорных вставок («uh").

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. For example, my parents enjoy gardening and fishing, while I prefer cooking and studying because I like trying new recipes and learning new subjects.

× Yes, I have hobbies. Umm, I like, uh, learn English and cocaine. Actually I like walking. Uh, barks maybe? My.

✓ Yes, I have hobbies. I like learning English and cooking. Actually, I like walking. Perhaps walks.

The sentence contains multiple errors: incorrect verb form after 'like' (should use gerund 'learning' rather than base verb 'learn') which matches 'Verb + -ing form' (ID 8); 'cocaine' is an incorrect word likely meant to be 'cooking' (lexical error, treated here as sentence structure/word choice); 'barks maybe? My.' is ungrammatical and unclear — likely intended 'walks' or 'parks'; restructure to 'Perhaps walks.' Suggestions: use gerunds after 'like' (I like learning), choose correct vocabulary (cooking not cocaine), and remove filler sounds and incomplete fragments to make clear sentences.

× I don't have a child but yes, I think if I'll behave uh, I should be honest because humbus is important. Like living with without hobbies, it's boring. It's.

✓ I don't have children, but yes. I think if I behave well, I should be honest because humility is important. Living without hobbies is boring.

Errors include plural/singular mismatch 'a child' vs general 'children' (ID 1), incorrect future form 'if I'll behave' (conditional should be 'if I behave' — Present tense in condition, ID 6), misuse of word 'humbus' likely meant 'humility' (lexical), and awkward phrase 'living with without hobbies' — should be 'living without hobbies' (preposition/word order, ID 11 and 26). Suggestions: use plural when referring generally to not having children, use present tense in real condition clauses, select correct vocabulary, and simplify structure: 'Living without hobbies is boring.' Remove fillers.

× No, I don't have hard. I like mountaineering all my life. I'm bad now. I don't, uh, I don't do it and uh, maybe learn something. I like it. I like study.

✓ No, I haven't had one. I have liked mountaineering all my life. I'm not able to do it now. I don't do it, and maybe I will learn something else. I like it. I like studying.

Multiple problems: 'I don't have hard' is nonsensical; corrected to 'I haven't had one' (sentence structure, ID 26). 'I like mountaineering all my life' requires present perfect 'I have liked' to express a continuous past to present (present perfect issue, ID 6). 'I'm bad now' unclear — corrected to 'I'm not able to do it now' (adjective choice, ID 13). 'maybe learn something' needs subject and proper tense/modal: 'maybe I will learn something else' (future tense/modal, ID 7/4). 'I like study' should use gerund 'studying' after 'like' (ID 8). Suggestions: use present perfect for actions that started in the past and continue, use gerund after like, supply clear subjects and auxiliaries, and avoid vague fragments.

× No, I don't have, uh, me and my family are really different people, but I love cooking, I enjoy study and that's all.

✓ No, I don't. My family and I are very different people, but I love cooking. I enjoy studying, and that's all.

Errors: awkward pronoun order 'me and my family' should be 'my family and I' (pronoun case and order, ID 12). 'I don't' needs completion but in context 'No, I don't' is acceptable for 'No, I don't have the same hobbies'. 'I enjoy study' should use gerund 'studying' after 'enjoy' (ID 8). Punctuation/ sentence run-on issues fixed by splitting into clearer sentences (sentence structure, ID 26). Suggestions: use 'my family and I' for subject position, use gerunds after verbs like enjoy, and keep sentences concise.