Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and avoid redundancy. Say you enjoy reading and briefly add what kind of reading and when you do it. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct articles and plurals (e.g., “a hobby,” “reading books”).

例: I’m an introvert, so I don’t have many hobbies; my favorite hobby is reading books. I mainly read contemporary novels and historical non-fiction, and I usually read in the evenings to relax.

提案: Start with a clear answer about childhood, avoid slang and irrelevant self-judgment, correct tense and phrasing, and organize supporting details with linking words. Be specific about genres and routines. Keep it to a few coherent sentences.

例: Yes, as a child I loved reading and often spent whole afternoons with books. For example, I read a lot of contemporary novels and history books, and I would read in the evenings to unwind.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and word choice, and explain reasons with specific details. Remove repetitions and fix awkward phrases (e.g., “they did less me” unclear). Use one or two supporting sentences with linking words like “because” or “so”).

例: Yes, I have read since childhood. I used to read many fantasy and adventure books because they offered immersive experiences, and I still read whenever I have free time, although I’m busier now than before.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar and word choice (e.g., “advise me” instead of “incorrect me”). Provide one clear reason and a short example of how your hobbies differ. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid awkward phrasing.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my parents’. They prefer a quieter, less active lifestyle, and because they value education they often advise me to spend more time studying rather than reading for pleasure.

× Actually I'm quite introverted so I don't have a lot of hobby, but the one of my favorite hobby is reading book.

✓ Actually I'm quite introverted so I don't have a lot of hobbies, but one of my favorite hobbies is reading books.

Countable nouns must be plural when referring to more than one (hobby -> hobbies; book -> books). Also use 'one of my favorite hobbies' (plural) rather than 'the one of my favorite hobby'. Suggestion: make countable nouns plural and match 'one of' with a plural noun list.

× What I wanna try I would like to say I'm a boring girl, quite introvert, so I just want to spend all day along with my book it.

✓ What I want to say is that I'm a boring girl, quite introverted, so I just want to spend all day with my book.

Colloquial 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal speech; 'what I want to say is that' is the correct clause structure. 'Introvert' should be the adjective 'introverted'. 'Spend all day along with my book it' has an unnecessary 'along' and stray 'it'; use 'spend all day with my book'. Remove redundant words and correct word forms.

× I especially enjoy reading contemporary novel and history, and I use stories in the evening to relax.

✓ I especially enjoy reading contemporary novels and history books, and I use stories in the evening to relax.

When referring to types of books, use plural countable nouns 'novels' and 'history books'. Also 'contemporary novel' should be 'contemporary novels'. This fixes agreement between adjective and noun number.

× Yes, since I was a child I have enjoyed reading.

✓ Yes, since I was a child I have enjoyed reading.

This sentence is correct as written: 'have enjoyed' with 'since' indicates a state continuing from the past to the present. No change needed. Included here to indicate no error of tense.

× I used to read a lot of fantasy and adventure books because they did less me and gave me immersive experiences.

✓ I used to read a lot of fantasy and adventure books because they distracted me and gave me immersive experiences.

'Did less me' is incorrect. Likely intended 'distracted me' or 'helped me escape'. Replace with 'distracted me' to convey the books helped take attention away from problems. Correct verb choice improves clarity.

× I still read whenever whenever I have time, although I'm much busier now than I was before.

✓ I still read whenever I have time, although I'm much busier now than I was before.

Duplicate word 'whenever' is a repetition error. Remove the extra occurrence. Tense and comparison are correct.

× No, my hobbies are different from my parents.

✓ No, my hobbies are different from my parents'.

To show possession for 'my parents' when comparing, place the possessive apostrophe: 'different from my parents'' or better 'different from my parents' hobbies'. More natural: 'different from my parents' hobbies.' Use possessive to indicate the hobbies belong to parents.

× They prefer a quiet life and aren't very active.

✓ They prefer a quiet life and aren't very active.

This sentence is grammatically correct; 'quiet' and 'active' are correctly used. No change needed.

× And because they value education highly, they always incorrect me to spend most of my time studying and improving myself.

✓ And because they value education highly, they always encourage me to spend most of my time studying and improving myself.

'Incorrect me' is wrong word choice; the intended verb is 'encourage'. Use 'encourage me to' + verb to indicate advising someone to do something. Correct verb restores meaning and grammar.