Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và độ tự nhiên: sửa lỗi về mạo từ, động từ và danh sách sở thích; làm câu ngắn gọn hơn, tránh lặp từ ‘umm’ và dùng liên từ để nối ý rõ ràng. Nên nói rõ tần suất và một lý do cụ thể hơn.

例: Yes, I enjoy exercising. I usually go to the gym every afternoon to relieve stress and stay fit. I also like sports such as swimming and badminton because they are fun and improve my stamina.

提案: Cải thiện thì và trật tự từ: sử dụng thì quá khứ nhất quán (liked, played), tránh tiếng lấp, hoàn thành câu đầy đủ và thêm chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ kiểu trò chơi hoặc câu chuyện). Dùng liên từ để nối ý.

例: Yes. When I was a child, I liked playing with Barbie dolls because they were pretty and well dressed. I often played with a friend every afternoon and we made up stories where I pretended to be a princess.

提案: Sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc: tránh lỗi từ và thì (use 'I've had' or 'I've loved drawing since I was a child'), nói rõ mục tiêu nghề nghiệp bằng ngôn ngữ chính xác (fashion designer, architect), và giữ câu ngắn gọn với chi tiết hỗ trợ cụ thể.

例: Yes. I've loved drawing since I was a child because it calmed me and inspired my career goals. I once wanted to be a fashion designer, and now I hope to study architecture, so I still practice drawing regularly.

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, nhất quán số ít/ số nhiều và trật tự từ: dùng 'my family members' và 'each member has', tránh lặp từ và filler; nêu ví dụ cụ thể hơn và kết luận ngắn gọn.

例: No, not really. My family members have different interests because each person is unique. For example, I love drawing, my brother enjoys working with technology, and my mother likes cooking.

× I really enjoy exercising, especially go to the gyms or playing sport like swimming in badminton.

✓ I really enjoy exercising, especially going to the gym or playing sports like swimming and badminton.

Use gerunds after 'enjoy' (enjoy + -ing). Use 'going' not 'go'. Use singular 'gym' for the general concept and 'sports' plural when listing types; separate activities with 'and' for clarity.

× I really enjoy exercising, especially go to the gyms or playing sport like swimming in badminton.

✓ I really enjoy exercising, especially going to the gym or playing sports like swimming and badminton.

Do not use 'the' with 'gyms' when speaking generally; use 'the gym' for the activity. Also use plural 'sports' when referring to different kinds of sport.

× I usually go to the gym in every afternoon because it can help me relieve stress and keep fit.

✓ I usually go to the gym every afternoon because it helps me relieve stress and keep fit.

Use 'every afternoon' not 'in every afternoon'. For habitual action, use simple present; use 'helps' (third-person singular agreement with 'it' referring to exercise) instead of 'can help' for a general truth.

× when I was a child, I like to play with Barbie dolls umm because they were beautiful and well dressed umm, and play with them make me feel like a Princess.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to play with Barbie dolls because they were beautiful and well dressed, and playing with them made me feel like a princess.

Narration about the past requires past tense: 'liked' not 'like', 'made' not 'make'. Use gerund 'playing' after 'and' to form parallel structure. 'Princess' should be lowercase in normal usage.

× I used to play with them every afternoon with my friend umm I creating story and.

✓ I used to play with them every afternoon with my friend; I created stories and...

Run-on sentence and incorrect verb form 'creating' — use past simple 'created' for past habitual actions. Add punctuation to separate clauses and complete the sentence.

× when I was a child, I like to play with Barbie dolls umm because they were beautiful and well dressed umm, and play with them make me feel like a Princess.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to play with Barbie dolls because they were beautiful and well dressed, and playing with them made me feel like a princess.

Subject-verb agreement: 'play' with 'I' in past should be 'liked'; 'make' should be 'made' to agree with past tense subject.

× Yes, of course does a drawing, uh, because when I was a child, I very love drawing because I want to, I want to be calm or designer, a fashion designer and future.

✓ Yes, of course I do drawing, uh, because when I was a child I really loved drawing because I wanted to be a fashion designer in the future.

Incorrect sentence structure: use 'I do drawing' or better 'I enjoy drawing'; 'very love' is incorrect — use 'really loved'; 'I want to, I want to be calm or designer' is unclear — replace with 'I wanted to be a fashion designer in the future' for clarity and correct tense.

× So I still love drawing.

✓ So I still love drawing.

This sentence is correct. 'Love' + gerund 'drawing' is the correct form for expressing a continuing hobby.

× No, I don't have the same hobby as your my family member because in my families, each member have a unique personalities.

✓ No, I don't have the same hobbies as my family members because in my family, each member has a unique personality.

Pronoun errors: use 'my' not 'your my'. 'Family' is singular collective; 'members' plural. Subject-verb agreement: 'each member has' (not 'have'). 'Personality' should be singular after 'unique'.

× Uh, for example, I love drawing, but my brother he love umm, technology's device are my mom love cooking.

✓ For example, I love drawing, but my brother loves technology devices and my mom loves cooking.

Remove redundant pronoun 'he'. Use third-person singular 'loves'. 'Technology's device' is incorrect — use 'technology devices' or 'electronic devices'. Use 'and' to connect clauses and repeat 'loves' for parallel structure.