Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Tente ser mais conciso e corrigir pequenos erros gramaticais; organize a resposta em 2–3 frases claras e use ligações simples para maior fluidez. Por exemplo, mantenha um tópico por frase, use tempos verbais consistentes (present perfect/continuous se necessário) e evite redundâncias como “trying something new every time”.

例: I enjoy cooking and going to the gym. I often experiment with new recipes to impress my friends, and I also exercise regularly to stay fit and healthy.

提案: Corrija a coerência e a gramática: há repetições e uma frase confusa sobre o pai. Use 2–3 frases com ligações claras e detalhes específicos (por exemplo, o que fazia nas decorações).

例: Yes. I enjoyed cooking with my grandparents because my father was a baker. We used to bake bread and cakes and spend whole afternoons decorating them, which taught me basic techniques like icing and kneading.

提案: Melhore a correção e a concisão; evite frases longas e problemas de preposição. Estruture em duas frases: tópico + exemplos concretos (ex.: fazer massa caseira). Use conectores simples como “and” ou “since then”.

例: Cooking has been a lifelong hobby for me. My grandparents taught me to bake cakes, and since then I've tried new recipes, including making pasta from scratch, which reminds me of those happy childhood memories.

提案: Melhore a fluidez e corrija a gramática; simplifique para 2–3 frases e use conectores como “however” ou “for example”. Evite frases redundantes e garanta concordância (por exemplo, “while I like cooking”).

例: Not really. We have different interests: I like cooking, my brother enjoys playing soccer, and my father prefers video games. However, we still support each other's hobbies even though they are different.

× I'm really passionate about cooking and going to the gym since I was a child.

✓ I've been really passionate about cooking and going to the gym since I was a child.

Use present perfect for a state that began in the past and continues now. 'Since I was a child' requires 'have/has been' + past participle (been) rather than simple present 'I'm'. Suggestion: Use 'I've been' to link past start time to present continuing state.

× I do like experimenting new recipes and trying something new every time to impress my friends and I also like to exercise and have a fit and healthy body.

✓ I do like experimenting with new recipes and trying something new every time to impress my friends, and I also like exercising to stay fit and healthy.

After 'experiment' the preposition 'with' is required when talking about experimenting with something (preposition error combined). Use gerund 'exercising' rather than 'to exercise' for parallel structure. 'Have a fit and healthy body' is awkward; use 'stay fit and healthy'. Suggestion: Use 'experimenting with', keep parallel gerunds, and prefer 'stay fit and healthy'.

× I really enjoyed cooking with my grandparents when I was younger as my father of the My father was a Baker, we used to bake bread and also cake and spend the whole afternoon decorating them.

✓ I really enjoyed cooking with my grandparents when I was younger because my father was a baker; we used to bake bread and cakes and spend whole afternoons decorating them.

Sentence had repeated fragment and capitalization error. Use 'because' to explain reason, lowercase 'baker', pluralize 'cake' to 'cakes' to match meaning, and pluralize time expression to 'afternoons' for repeated habit. 'Used to' correctly indicates past habitual actions. Suggestion: Remove repetitions, fix capitalization, pluralize where appropriate, and use 'because'.

× I would say the cooking is a hobby that I've had since I was a child.

✓ I would say cooking is a hobby I've had since I was a child.

The article 'the' before 'cooking' is unnecessary when referring to the activity in general. Also 'that' can be omitted for conciseness. Maintain present perfect 'I've had' to show continuity. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary article and optional relative pronoun for more natural phrasing.

× It started with my grandparents teaching me how to bake a cake until nowadays from with me trying new recipes and making pasta from scratch.

✓ It started with my grandparents teaching me how to bake cakes, and continues nowadays with me trying new recipes and making pasta from scratch.

Original mixes prepositions and tenses incorrectly: 'until nowadays from with' is ungrammatical. Use 'started with' for origin and 'continues nowadays with' to show ongoing action. Pluralize 'cake' to 'cakes' for general activity. Suggestion: Use clear linking verbs 'started' and 'continues' and correct prepositions 'with'.

× So those good memories from childhood are still carried alongside of me.

✓ So those good memories from childhood still stay with me.

'Carried alongside of me' is unnatural; idiomatic English uses 'stay with me' or 'are still with me'. 'Alongside of' is incorrect here. Suggestion: Use idiomatic expressions like 'stay with me' to convey lasting memories.

× Each one of us has a different personality trait which means there are interests and likes are not similar.

✓ Each one of us has a different personality, which means our interests and preferences are not similar.

Redundant 'trait' and awkward clause structure. 'There are interests and likes are not similar' is ungrammatical. Use 'which means our interests and preferences are not similar' for clarity and correct pronoun agreement. Suggestion: Simplify to 'each one of us has a different personality' and use 'our' to show possession.

× For example, while like cooking, my brother enjoys playing soccer and my father likes playing video games, so we have very different interests.

✓ For example, while I like cooking, my brother enjoys playing soccer and my father likes playing video games, so we have very different interests.

Missing subject 'I' after 'while' makes the clause incorrect. Ensure the subordinate clause has a subject and verb: 'while I like cooking'. Suggestion: Add the subject 'I' to complete the clause and maintain parallel structure.