Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar errors, avoid redundancy, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Use linking words for coherence and give a brief specific example of a recent book or movie to make it more concrete.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy reading, meditating and watching films because they help me relax and escape the hustle and bustle of city life. For example, last week I finished a novel about travel which inspired me to plan a short trip. Also, I usually meditate for 10–15 minutes every morning to clear my mind.

提案: Correct tense and grammar, give a clear topic sentence, use linking words, and add specific examples of games or a memorable camping experience. Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid awkward phrasing.

例: Yes, I did. I loved going out with friends to play outdoor games such as football and hide-and-seek, which kept me active. I also enjoyed camping with my family, especially one trip when we cooked over a campfire and watched the stars.

提案: Be direct and clear: state whether you still keep a childhood hobby, explain briefly why if you stopped, and give a specific detail about any collection you still have. Fix grammar and unclear phrases.

例: Not really, I haven't kept any hobby continuously because I'm quite busy and often tired. However, I still have a small collection of comic books from my childhood that I keep on a shelf and look at sometimes for nostalgia.

提案: Make the sentence grammatically correct and concise: begin with a clear topic sentence, explain how you share the hobby with your brother, and give a specific example of a dish you cooked together. Use linking words to clarify frequency or result.

例: Yes, my younger brother and I both enjoy cooking. Whenever I learn a new recipe, I teach him and we practice together, for example, we recently made a homemade pizza and enjoyed sharing it with the family.

× Yes, I do, I have some hobbies such as reading books, doing meditations, and watching movies because these activities can help me find in the peace and escape from a hustle and bustle of city life.

✓ Yes, I do. I have some hobbies such as reading books, meditating, and watching movies because these activities help me find peace and escape from the hustle and bustle of city life.

Problems: 'doing meditations' is not natural; use the gerund 'meditating' (verb + -ing form) and 'find in the peace' is incorrect preposition use; use 'find peace'. Also 'a hustle and bustle' should be 'the hustle and bustle' (article/preposition issues). Suggestions: use natural collocations: 'meditating', 'find peace', and 'the hustle and bustle'. Keep verbs consistent in simple present for habitual actions. Grammar Problem Type ID: 11

× Yes, of course I love went out with my friends to play some outdoor games.

✓ Yes, of course I loved going out with my friends to play outdoor games.

Problems: 'love went out' mixes present 'love' with past 'went'; incorrect tense and verb form. Use past tense 'loved' to match 'when you were a child' and change 'went out' to the gerund 'going out' after 'loved'. Suggestions: match tense to time adverbials and use gerunds after verbs of liking. Grammar Problem Type ID: 5

× I also like camping with my family this time make me so happy and unwind.

✓ I also liked camping with my family; it made me very happy and helped me unwind.

Problems: 'like' present conflicts with childhood context; 'this time make me so happy' is ungrammatical—tense and subject missing. Use past tense 'liked' and 'it made me' and 'helped me unwind' for clarity. Suggestions: ensure tense consistency and include subjects for clauses. Grammar Problem Type ID: 6

× Not really, I am quite busy nowadays and I don't have enough energy to do that.

✓ Not really. I am quite busy nowadays and don't have enough energy for hobbies.

Problems: 'to do that' is vague; pronoun reference unclear. Replace with specific noun 'for hobbies' or repeat the activity to clarify. Also split into two sentences for fluency. Suggestions: use clear pronouns or repeat the noun to avoid ambiguity. Grammar Problem Type ID: 12

× However, I still preserve a lot of collection seems to hold.

✓ However, I still have a large collection that I have kept.

Problems: 'preserve a lot of collection seems to hold' is ungrammatical and confused: wrong verb choice ('preserve' is formal and needs object), wrong word order, and incorrect clause 'seems to hold'. Use 'have a large collection that I have kept' to express continued possession from childhood. Suggestions: use natural verbs like 'have' or 'keep' and proper relative clauses. Grammar Problem Type ID: 26

× Yes, I and my younger brother also enjoy cooking, so whenever I learn how to cook a new dish, I will take my younger brother and we have a lot of time.

✓ Yes, my younger brother and I also enjoy cooking, so whenever I learn a new dish, I teach him and we spend a lot of time together.

Problems: word order 'I and my younger brother' is awkward; pronoun/reference and verb tense/modal issues: 'I will take my younger brother' is unclear and future tense is odd for habitual action. Use 'my younger brother and I', 'teach him' for sharing skills, and 'we spend a lot of time together' for habitual present. Suggestions: use correct subject order (other person before 'I'), use present simple for habits, and choose verbs that match meaning. Grammar Problem Type ID: 12