Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with connectors. Correct verb forms and collocations (e.g., “I'm really into,” “improve my concentration”). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I’m really into listening to music and reading comic books. They help me clear my mind and spark my imagination, so I can concentrate better when I study. For example, calm instrumental music makes it easier for me to focus on homework.

提案: Use a clear past-tense topic sentence and smoother linking words. Fix word order and grammar (e.g., “When I was a child,” “helped me relax and unwind after school”). Be specific about how the hobbies influenced you and keep it within 3 sentences.

例: When I was a child, I enjoyed watching cartoons and reading comic books. These activities sparked my imagination and helped me concentrate better at school. After classes, they also helped me relax and recharge.

提案: Clarify tense and correct sentences: avoid repetition and awkward phrasing. Use one clear present perfect sentence to show duration, then give specific benefits with linking words. Fix collocations (e.g., “an important part of my routine,” “improve my strength and focus”). Remove unclear phrase “when I'm happy.”

例: I have been jogging since I was a child. It has become an important part of my daily routine because it improves my strength and helps me focus when I study. Also, jogging gives me a screen-free way to relax.

提案: Use natural subject–verb order and reduce fillers. Start with a clear statement and then list hobbies using linking words. Correct grammar: “My family and I often share hobbies,” “we get together on weekends,” “my dad loves playing badminton.” Be specific about frequency or why you enjoy them.

例: Yes, my family and I share several hobbies. We often get together on weekends to garden, cook, or bake cakes, and my mom and I enjoy shopping. My dad and I also play badminton regularly, which keeps us active.

× Yes honestly I really into listening to music and reading comic books.

✓ Yes, honestly I really enjoy listening to music and reading comic books.

Missing main verb 'enjoy' and punctuation. The sentence needs a verb to be complete and to show present habitual action. Add 'enjoy' and a comma after 'Yes' to improve clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× They help me clear my mind and spark my imagination.

✓ They help me clear my mind and spark my imagination.

This sentence is already correct: plural subject 'They' agrees with plural verb 'help' and verbs in base form after 'help' are correct. No change needed. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× Listening help me focus on studying more and improve my concentrate in study.

✓ Listening helps me focus more on studying and improve my concentration in my studies.

With gerund subject 'Listening' the verb needs third person singular 'helps'. 'Concentrate' is a verb; the noun 'concentration' is required. 'in study' should be 'in my studies' to sound natural. Grammar problem type ID: 2

× As I was a child, I used to enjoy watching cartoons and reading comic books.

✓ When I was a child, I used to enjoy watching cartoons and reading comic books.

Use 'When I was a child' rather than 'As I was a child' for typical past habitual actions; 'As' can imply simultaneous action. The rest is correct. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× They helped me spark my imagination and improve a lot my focus when I'm school studying and also help me relax and unwind after schools.

✓ They helped spark my imagination, greatly improve my focus when I was studying at school, and also helped me relax and unwind after school.

Maintain past tense 'helped' consistently. 'Improve a lot my focus' has incorrect word order; use 'greatly improve my focus'. 'I'm school studying' is incorrect—use 'I was studying at school'. 'after schools' should be singular 'after school'. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× I've been going jogging for many years.

✓ I've been jogging for many years.

Use 'jogging' alone with present perfect continuous: 'I've been jogging' is idiomatic. 'Going jogging' is not incorrect but redundant; simplifying improves clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Since childhood it became It has became one of the most important part of my daily routine and helped me improve my strength and my focus on study.

✓ Since childhood it has become one of the most important parts of my daily routine and has helped me improve my strength and my focus on studying.

Use present perfect 'has become' for a state starting in the past and continuing now. 'Became' is simple past and inconsistent. 'Part' should be plural 'parts'. Use 'has helped' to show ongoing relevance, and 'focus on studying' is the correct noun form. Grammar problem type ID: 7

× It also helped me stay away from the screen when I'm happy.

✓ It also helps me stay away from screens when I'm stressed or unhappy.

Original contradicts context: pastime helping reduce screen time is ongoing, so present tense 'helps' is better. 'When I'm happy' seems illogical; likely intended 'when I'm stressed' or 'when I want to relax'. Use plural 'screens' or 'the screen' consistently. Adjusted to make meaning clear. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Oh yes, of course. Uh, I and my family often shares common hobbies get together at weekends like gardening, cooking and making cakes.

✓ Oh yes, of course. My family and I often share common hobbies and get together on weekends, such as gardening, cooking, and baking cakes.

Use 'My family and I' (conventional order) and plural verb 'share' to match compound subject. Insert conjunction 'and' before 'get together'. Use 'on weekends' (preposition) and 'such as' for examples. 'Making cakes' is better as 'baking cakes'. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× I and my mom really love shopping too and I my dad also love playing badminton together.

✓ My mom and I really love shopping, and my dad and I also love playing badminton together.

Use 'My mom and I' order and verb 'love' matches compound subject. Fix missing conjunction and comma. Ensure each compound subject pairs with correct verb form and add 'also' placement for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 27