Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid repetition. Use linking words to add a brief specific detail. Watch count of sentences (max 5).

例: Yes, I have several hobbies. I enjoy exercising in my free time to stay fit, and I also like drawing from memory as a creative pastime. For instance, I often sketch scenes from places I’ve visited to capture their atmosphere.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity. Use a clear past-time topic sentence, correct tense and article use, and add a linking word when contrasting past and present. Be specific about how hobbies changed.

例: Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed reading romantic novels such as Twilight and Jane Eyre, and I watched anime and TV series. However, my interests have shifted and nowadays my hobbies are more related to my work, such as professional development and practicing relevant skills.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Use correct grammar and avoid unclear phrases (e.g. 'mood in every year is so relevant', 'Hobbit'). If there is a partial continuity, state it with a brief explanation and a specific example.

例: Not really — my hobbies have changed a lot as I grew up. However, I have kept drawing in some form since childhood; for example, I used to sketch landscapes and I still enjoy drawing scenes from memory today.

提案: Good content and coherence; improve natural phrasing and grammar. Use a topic sentence, then add a specific supporting detail and a linking word. Replace informal phrases like 'too much the same'.

例: Yes, my sister and I share similar tastes in music, so our playlists are almost identical. For example, when we drive together she often plays my favorite songs, and we rarely argue about what to listen to.

× Absolutely, as a young energetic person I have too much hobbies, for example training on my leisure time and sometimes drawing a memorable image on my on my mind.

✓ Absolutely, as a young energetic person I have too many hobbies, for example training in my leisure time and sometimes drawing a memorable image in my mind.

'Too much' is used with uncountable nouns; 'hobbies' is countable, so use 'too many'. 'On my leisure time' is incorrect preposition use; use 'in my leisure time'. Repeated 'on my' is an error and 'in my mind' is the correct collocation for imagining something. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× For example training on my leisure time and sometimes drawing a memorable image on my on my mind.

✓ For example training in my leisure time and sometimes drawing a memorable image in my mind.

Preposition 'on' is not used with 'leisure time' or 'mind' in this context. Use 'in my leisure time' and 'in my mind'. Also remove the duplicated 'on my'. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× On those age, I had like to read romantic novels like Twilight or Jane Eyre's novels, watch my favorite anime and series.

✓ At that age, I liked to read romantic novels such as Twilight or Jane Eyre, and watch my favorite anime and series.

Use 'at that age' not 'on those age'. 'Had like to' is incorrect: the past tense of 'like' is 'liked'. 'Like' before examples should be 'such as' or 'like' without possessive for titles; 'Jane Eyre's novels' is incorrect because Jane Eyre is a single novel and the possessive is unnecessary. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× However, now my hobbies is related with my job.

✓ However, now my hobbies are related to my job.

Subject-verb agreement: 'hobbies' (plural) requires plural verb 'are' (Grammar problem type ID 27 related). Also use 'related to' not 'related with'. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× However, now my hobbies is related with my job.

✓ However, now my hobbies are related to my job.

Use 'related to' rather than 'related with' to express connection between hobbies and job. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× On those age, I had like to read romantic novels like Twilight or Jane Eyre's novels, watch my favorite anime and series.

✓ At that age, I liked to read romantic novels such as Twilight or Jane Eyre, and watch my favorite anime and series.

Also replace 'like' before examples with 'such as' for clarity and correct collocation, and use 'at that age' for the time phrase. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× No, I don't because I have changed a lot and my mood in every year is so relevant but.

✓ No, I don't, because I have changed a lot and my mood varies from year to year.

The original sentence has awkward structure and an unfinished conjunction 'but'. 'My mood in every year is so relevant' is unclear; use 'my mood varies from year to year' to express change over time. Also add a comma after 'No, I don't' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× However, the drawing is near to my childhood's Hobbit.

✓ However, drawing is close to my childhood hobby.

'Hobbit' is incorrect word; likely meant 'hobby'. Possessive 'childhood's hobby' is awkward; use 'my childhood hobby'. 'Near to' should be 'close to' or simply 'close' in this context. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Yes, my sister and I still love to listen to music and our playlist is too much the same with each other.

✓ Yes, my sister and I still love to listen to music and our playlists are very similar to each other.

'Playlist' should be plural if each person has a playlist, so use 'playlists are'. 'Too much the same with each other' is incorrect idiom; use 'very similar to each other' or 'almost the same'. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× So in our car she can play my favorite song and there isn't any arguing on playing.

✓ So in our car she can play my favorite song and there isn't any arguing about it.

'Arguing on playing' is not idiomatic. Use 'arguing about it' or 'any argument about it'. Also 'in our car' is acceptable but context could use 'in the car'. Grammar problem type ID: 11