Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh tiếng lấp đầy như “umm”, sửa ngữ pháp và câu chắp vá; trả lời trực tiếp, ngắn gọn (1-3 câu), dùng từ vựng phong phú hơn và cung cấp ví dụ cụ thể. Cụ thể: (1) Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng: “Yes, I have several hobbies.” (2) Liệt kê ngắn gọn 2-3 sở thích không lặp lại, dùng thì phù hợp: “reading, listening to music and watching films.” (3) Giải thích ngắn với chi tiết cụ thể: lý do hoặc ví dụ (“I read novels to unwind after work, and I prefer indie films.”). (4) Dùng liên từ như “and”, “so” để mạch lạc.

例: Yes, I have several hobbies: reading, listening to music and watching films. I usually read novels in the evening to relax after a long day, and I enjoy listening to relaxing acoustic playlists while I cook.

提案: Cải thiện: Sử dụng thì quá khứ nhất quán khi nói về thời thơ ấu, tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp. Trả lời trực tiếp với câu chủ đề ở thì quá khứ, sau đó thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: loại sách, chương trình TV, hoặc loại bài tập). Dùng liên từ như “and” hoặc “so” để kết nối ý.

例: When I was a child, I enjoyed reading picture books and watching cartoons. I also used to listen to relaxing pop songs and play simple exercises like running in the park with my friends.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh lặp và sử dụng thì phù hợp (past for childhood, present perfect/simple present for continuing habits). Nên nói rõ một thói quen kéo dài: bắt đầu với câu chủ đề: “Yes, I have loved X since childhood.” Sau đó cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể về cách bạn tiếp tục thực hành sở thích đó và một ví dụ ngắn.

例: Yes, I have loved listening to music and reading story books since I was a child. I still read at least one short story every week and I often listen to the same calm playlists I enjoyed as a kid.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh lặp từ “love”, sửa ngữ pháp và dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: nêu bật sự giống nhau rồi mô tả hoạt động cụ thể. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể về việc làm vườn (loại cây, tần suất, vai trò của bạn) để câu có sức thuyết phục hơn. Dùng liên từ “so” hoặc “because” để giải thích.

例: Yes, my parents enjoy gardening and I do too. We often plant ornamental flowers and small fruit trees together on weekends, and I usually water the plants and help with pruning.

× reading books, listening to music, watching TV's or films.

✓ reading books, listening to music, watching TV or films.

Using an apostrophe in 'TV's' incorrectly makes it possessive; the plural 'TVs' is uncommon—better to use 'TV' or 'television' for general activities. Use the plural 'films' already correct.

× These hobbies help me to relax for long days or they can be my best friend when I was when I am sad.

✓ These hobbies help me relax after long days or can be my best friends when I am sad.

Incorrect tense mix and phrasing: 'help me to relax for long days' is unnatural—use 'relax after long days'. 'They can be my best friend when I was when I am sad' mixes past and present and uses singular 'friend' for plural hobbies; correct to 'best friends when I am sad'.

× I used to have a few hobbies when I was child.

✓ I used to have a few hobbies when I was a child.

Missing article 'a' before 'child'. 'I was child' is ungrammatical; the correct phrase is 'I was a child' for past state.

× I love reading books and watching TV.

✓ I loved reading books and watching TV.

Question asked about childhood hobbies (past). Use past tense 'loved' or 'I used to love' to match the past time frame.

× I also like listening to music to the chill music and I love do exercise too.

✓ I also liked listening to chill music and I loved doing exercise too.

Unnecessary second 'to' in 'listening to music to the chill music'. Use 'listening to chill music'. 'I love do exercise' is incorrect verb form—use 'doing exercise'. Also tense adjusted to past to match childhood context.

× Yes, when I was a child I love listening to music and reading some story books and when I when I was when I am when I grow up, I love reading story book and listening to music too.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I loved listening to music and reading story books, and as I grew up I continued to love reading story books and listening to music.

Multiple tense inconsistencies and repetition. Use past 'loved' for childhood and past/continuing action 'as I grew up I continued to love' to show persistence. 'Story book' should be plural 'story books'. Remove redundant phrases.

× Yes, my mom and my father love gardening and I love gardening too.

✓ Yes, my mom and my father love gardening, and I love gardening too.

Sentence is mostly correct but add a comma before the conjunction for clarity. Tense is present and matches the question about current hobbies.

× I love to plant trees and I love to watering the flower with my family member.

✓ I love to plant trees and I love watering the flowers with my family members.

Use parallel verb forms: 'love to plant' and 'love watering' are both acceptable; here 'love watering' matches better. 'the flower' should be plural 'the flowers' and 'family member' should be plural 'family members' if referring to more than one, or 'a family member' if singular. Also ensure consistency and correct noun number.