Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be natural and clear: correct word choices (e.g., "play the violin" not "plain violin"); avoid tense and article errors; keep answer concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Mention current frequency with correct tense and use the correct piece name ("Caprice No. 24").

例: I enjoy playing the violin because it helps me concentrate and clears my mind. For example, I often practise Caprice No. 24 by Paganini to challenge myself, and I usually play the violin twice a week.

提案: Be specific and use correct vocabulary: replace unclear words (e.g., "gumbits" unclear) and avoid awkward phrasing like "in other people's eyes I looked intelligent" — rephrase briefly. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example") to connect ideas and state frequency with correct tense. Keep responses natural and concise.

例: Yes, I used to enjoy playing chess as a child because it made me feel clever and focused. For example, I practised openings and tactics with my coach twice a week.

提案: Correct major errors and be concise: fix word choice ("plain violence" is incorrect; say "playing the violin"). Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Provide a clear topic sentence, one or two specific supporting details, and a present-tense statement of current practice. Use linking words like "since" and "now" to show continuity.

例: Yes, I have played the violin since I was seven because my parents put me in music lessons. I used to study piano as well, and now I still practise the violin twice a week.

提案: Organize and simplify: begin with a direct topic sentence. Avoid unnecessary details (e.g., "firstly as family members I have only mother and father"). Use linking words ("because", "while") and concise comparative language to explain differences. Use singular/plural and articles correctly and break into 2–3 sentences max.

例: No, I don't share the same hobbies as my parents. While they prefer practical subjects like physics and maths, I am more creative and enjoy art and music.

× Yes, I like plain violin because it helps me to concentrate and at the same time get rid of my thoughts.

✓ Yes, I like playing the violin because it helps me to concentrate and at the same time get rid of my thoughts.

The word 'plain' is incorrect here; the correct verb is 'playing' (gerund) and the instrument usually takes the definite article 'the'. Use 'playing the violin' to describe the hobby. Suggestion: use verb + instrument with 'the' (e.g. 'playing the piano').

× For example, I like playing Capri's number 24 by Paganini and I played on violin twice a week.

✓ For example, I like playing Caprice No. 24 by Paganini and I play the violin twice a week.

Use present simple 'play' for habitual actions (twice a week). 'Played' is past tense and conflicts with 'I like'. Also say 'play the violin' not 'played on violin'. 'Caprice' is the correct musical term and ordinal 'No. 24' is standard. Suggestion: keep tense consistent for habits and use 'play the violin'.

× I liked it because in other people's eyes I looked intelligent when I was doing it.

✓ I liked it because in other people's eyes I looked intelligent when I played it.

Use simple past 'played' to match 'I liked' and refer to the activity generally in the past. 'When I was doing it' is wordy; 'when I played it' is clearer. Suggestion: match past-tense verbs for completed past habits.

× For example, I really enjoyed practicing some gumbits with my teacher and I did it twice a week.

✓ For example, I really enjoyed practicing some gambits with my teacher and I did it twice a week.

Likely misspelling: 'gumbits' should be 'gambits' (chess term). The rest is grammatically acceptable; keep 'did it twice a week' or better 'I practised twice a week' for clarity. Suggestion: correct spelling and consider 'I practised twice a week' to be concise.

× Yes, I have had plain violence since I was a child.

✓ Yes, I have played the violin since I was a child.

This sentence contains several errors: 'plain violence' is a mishearing/misspelling of 'played the violin' and 'violence' is semantically wrong. Use present perfect 'have played' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Suggestion: say 'I have played the violin since I was a child.'

× I started when I was 7 because my parents decided that I should take music lessons.

✓ I started when I was seven because my parents decided that I should take music lessons.

Use 'seven' in words or numerals consistently; grammatically sentence is fine. 'Started' correctly in past tense. Suggestion: write small numbers in words in formal speech transcripts and keep past tense for past events.

× For example, I used to play piano and violin and now I'm still playing violin.

✓ For example, I used to play the piano and violin, and now I'm still playing the violin.

Include the definite article 'the' before instrument names and separate clauses with a comma. 'Used to' correctly indicates past habit; 'I'm still playing' correctly indicates continuing action. Suggestion: use 'the piano and the violin' or 'the piano and violin' consistently.

× I do it.

✓ I still play it.

'I do it' is vague and unnatural in this context. Use 'I still play it' to clearly indicate the ongoing action of playing the violin. Suggestion: use a more specific verb that matches the activity.

× No I don't have the same hobbies as my family members because firstly as family members I have only mother and father and they are more practical as I am more creative person so they are more into physics and math and I really love art.

✓ No, I don't have the same hobbies as my family members because, first, my family consists of only my mother and father, and they are more practical while I am more creative, so they are more into physics and math and I really love art.

Multiple issues: missing commas, incorrect word order 'as family members I have only mother and father' should be 'my family consists of only my mother and father'. Use 'first' instead of 'firstly' for spoken responses; 'while' better contrasts two clauses than 'as'. Include articles 'my' before mother and father and 'a' before 'more creative person' or use 'I am more creative'. Suggestion: break into shorter sentences and add articles and conjunctions for clarity.