Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, umm), and remove unclear phrases like "playing with my knees." Add a brief reason or detail using a linking word. Aim for 2–4 sentences, varied vocabulary, and correct tense and articles.

例: I enjoy watching K-dramas and short films, and recently I've taken up walking. I walk every morning and evening to stay fit and burn calories, and it helps me feel more energetic throughout the day.

提案: Use correct tense and be specific: begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence, avoid repetition of 'I like', and give one or two specific examples of activities. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar (e.g., 'liked', 'paid').

例: When I was a child, I enjoyed playing with my cousins and friends, especially outdoor games like hide-and-seek. I also liked studying because my mother paid close attention to my schoolwork, and I took part in extracurricular activities such as the school choir.

提案: Answer directly and concisely: start with a short direct statement, avoid filler phrases ('you know'), and provide a brief reason or example of how your interests changed. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use varied vocabulary.

例: No, I don't still have a childhood hobby because my interests have changed as I've grown older. For example, I used to enjoy drawing, but now I prefer watching films and walking for exercise.

提案: Be concise and stay on topic: answer directly whether you share hobbies, then give a specific detail and use linking words ('so', 'therefore'). Avoid repeating ideas and unnecessary background. Use natural phrasing and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'trying to lose weight', 'regular exercise').

例: Yes, my sisters and I share a hobby now: regular walking and exercise. We started this routine recently because we want to lose weight and improve our health, so we walk together most mornings and do simple workouts in the evenings.

× Well for the hobbies I like watching K dramas, uh short movies, I like playing with my knees and also I am into walking lately it's been a month already.

✓ Well, for hobbies I like watching K-dramas and short movies; I also enjoy playing with my knees, and lately I have been walking — it's been a month already.

Original sentence has issues with verb forms and continuous aspect. 'For the hobbies' is awkward (article error/phrase structure) so changed to 'for hobbies'. 'I like watching K dramas, uh short movies' is a run-on and punctuation/coordination problem; corrected to coordinate items. 'I am into walking lately it's been a month already' mixes present perfect continuous and simple present without punctuation; corrected to 'I have been walking' to show an activity that started in the past and continues now (present perfect continuous), and added punctuation for clarity.

× I walk every morning and every umm evening so I can burn calories.

✓ I walk every morning and every evening so I can burn calories.

Remove filler 'umm' for fluency. The present simple 'I walk' is correct for habitual action. No tense change needed; only clarity and fluency improvements were made.

× Well, when I was a child, I like playing with my cousins and with my friends.

✓ Well, when I was a child, I liked playing with my cousins and my friends.

The time reference 'when I was a child' requires past tense. 'Like' should be past simple 'liked' to agree with the past time frame.

× I like studying because back then studying is very easy and my mother always pay attention to my studies.

✓ I liked studying because back then studying was very easy and my mother always paid attention to my studies.

Mixed tenses: 'back then' signals past so 'is' should be past 'was'. 'always pay attention' should be past 'paid attention' to match the past narrative. Also 'I like studying' should be 'I liked studying' to maintain past-tense consistency.

× And yeah, I like extracurricular activities.

✓ And yeah, I liked extracurricular activities.

Context is about childhood hobbies, so use past tense 'liked' rather than present 'like' to keep tense consistent.

× Well, I do not have a hobby in my childhood that I still have today because, you know, as I grow older, my hobbies change, my interests change, and you know, I like doing things differently now.

✓ I did not have any childhood hobby that I still have today because as I grew older my hobbies and interests changed; I like doing things differently now.

Tense inconsistency: 'do not have a hobby in my childhood' is incorrect because 'in my childhood' requires past ('did not have'). Also 'as I grow older' should be past 'as I grew older' when referring to change up to the present; however the final clause 'I like doing things differently now' correctly uses present. Reworded for clarity and tense consistency.

× Well, yeah, actually my sisters and I gained a lot of weight and we are planning and we are aiming for weight loss goal this year.

✓ Well, yeah, actually my sisters and I have gained a lot of weight, and we are planning and aiming for a weight-loss goal this year.

Tense: 'gained' alone implies past completed action; since the weight gain is recent and relevant to the present plan, present perfect 'have gained' is better. 'We are planning and we are aiming' is repetitive; combine to 'planning and aiming'. 'Weight loss goal' needs an article and hyphenation 'a weight-loss goal' for correctness.

× So we are currently into walking and exercising because we want to lose weight this year.

✓ So we are currently into walking and exercising because we want to lose weight this year.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable: 'are into walking and exercising' correctly uses 'be into' + verb-ing to express current interests. No change needed other than confirming form; included here to note it matches the requested grammar types.