Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and incorrect verb forms (e.g., "for enhance", "it having hobbies as many likes"). Use correct articles and plurals, and limit your answer to about 2–4 sentences.

例: I have several hobbies, including reading, playing football and listening to music. For example, I play football with my friends most weekends because it helps me relax after a busy week and is a great way to meet people and stay fit.

提案: Good structure and relevant details. Improve accuracy of collocations and plural forms (e.g., "favorite pastime" -> "favorite pastimes" or "a favorite pastime"). Use one linking word to connect ideas and keep it slightly shorter. Ensure tense consistency and correct article use.

例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. For instance, I loved painting and writing because they helped me express my creativity, and I often played football with friends after school. I also enjoyed reading comic books, and my parents encouraged me to learn the piano, which I appreciated.

提案: Be precise with vocabulary and grammar. Use correct terms (e.g., "landscapes" not "landship"), subject-verb agreement, and articles. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific detail or example and a linking word to explain why you continue the hobby.

例: Yes, I have painted since childhood. I especially enjoy painting landscapes and portraits because painting helps me relax after a busy day and lets me express my creativity.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and more concise. Use proper agreement ("my brother also likes") and vary language to avoid repetition. Use a linking phrase to add one specific example of a shared activity and its benefit.

例: Yes, we share several hobbies. For example, my brother and I both like playing sports and listening to music; doing these activities together helps us relax after a busy day and is a fun way to learn new skills.

× I have several hobbies such as reading, playing sports and listening to music for enhance.

✓ I have several hobbies such as reading, playing sports and listening to music to relax.

The phrase 'for enhance' is not correct English. After verbs like 'listen' or nouns like 'music', use an infinitive of purpose 'to + verb' (to relax) or a gerund that makes sense. Use 'to relax' to express purpose.

× I really enjoy playing football with my friends after the weekend.

✓ I really enjoy playing football with my friends at the weekend.

'After the weekend' suggests a time following the weekend, which is not intended. For habitual weekend activities use 'at the weekend' or 'on weekends'. Use 'at the weekend' (British English) or 'on the weekend'/'on weekends' (American English).

× I find it having hobbies as many likes after a busy day at work and it'll also give me the chance to meet new people and learn new skill.

✓ I find having hobbies very enjoyable after a busy day at work, and they also give me the chance to meet new people and learn new skills.

The original mixes incorrect structures: 'find it having' is ungrammatical. Use 'find + gerund' (find having hobbies enjoyable) or 'find it + adjective + to-infinitive'. Also 'many likes' is incorrect; use 'very enjoyable'. Subject-verb and number errors: 'it'll also give me' should match plural 'hobbies' so use 'they also give me'. 'skill' should be plural 'skills'.

× Personally, I believe that everyone should have at least one hobby to keep like interesting.

✓ Personally, I believe that everyone should have at least one hobby to keep life interesting.

'like' is a wrong word here; the intended noun is 'life'. Use 'keep life interesting' to mean maintain interest in life. This is a word choice/article issue rather than verb-related.

× For example, I loved painting and writing because it allowed me to express my creativity.

✓ For example, I loved painting and writing because they allowed me to express my creativity.

'Painting and writing' is a plural subject, so the pronoun referring back must be plural 'they' (subject-pronoun agreement). Using 'it' is incorrect.

× and reading comic books was one of my favorite pastime.

✓ and reading comic books was one of my favorite pastimes.

'Pastime' should be plural 'pastimes' when used with 'one of my', and 'favorite' is fine. This is an article/number choice error.

× My parents even encouraged me to learn the piano, which I really appreciated.

✓ My parents even encouraged me to learn the piano, which I really appreciated.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. I include it to indicate no applicable error from the provided list.

× Yes, I have enjoyed painting since I was a child.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed painting since I was a child.

This sentence is acceptable: present perfect 'have enjoyed' with 'since' is correct to indicate a hobby continuing from childhood.

× I really enjoyed painting landship and portrait because it give me relax after a busy day and express my creativity.

✓ I really enjoy painting landscapes and portraits because they give me relaxation after a busy day and allow me to express my creativity.

Multiple issues: 'landship' is incorrect word; use 'landscapes'. 'portrait' should be plural 'portraits' to match list. Tense consistency: use present 'enjoy' if this is a continuing hobby. Pronoun agreement: use 'they' for plural subjects. 'give me relax' is ungrammatical — use 'give me relaxation' or 'help me relax'. Also 'express my creativity' needs a verb like 'allow me to express' for clarity.

× Yes, we share several hobbies, for example, my brother also like playing sports and listening to music and we also enjoyed that because it gives us relax after a busy day and learn new skills.

✓ Yes, we share several hobbies. For example, my brother also likes playing sports and listening to music, and we enjoy them because they help us relax after a busy day and let us learn new skills.

Subject-verb agreement: 'my brother also like' should be 'likes'. Pronoun/reference agreement: use 'them' to refer to plural 'hobbies'. Tense consistency: use present 'enjoy' if habitual. 'gives us relax' is wrong — use 'help us relax'. Also add 'let us' or 'help us' to introduce 'learn new skills'. Split long run-on sentence into clearer clauses.